How long do I have to go?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Miller111, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. Miller111

    Miller111 New Member

    Physically tested and all is good!

    40 yrs old
    Pmo for 15 years
    Pied for 8 years

    Met gf 12 months ago
    Stopped pmo 12 months ago

    Used ed drugs for sex- relapsed only twice in that time - 1st one was to test myself with only images when could t get it up, 2nd time was 9th May (5 months ago) when I was bored

    Ed drugs of late been ineffective - lose it after penetration, feel more anxious now

    2 months ago started getting v strong erections around gf and frequent morning wood

    Total hard mode for 37 days now

    Tried sex again the weekend - Still lose erection 2 minutes after penetration

    I feel so depressed - I now feel I’m never going to recover
     
  2. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Miller,

    Sounds like you are off to a good start, but it may take longer for your to completely reverse your PIED, even up to a year. It depends on a number of factors, how long you used porn, how much your use of porn escelated, etc. It is hard to know how long it will take any individual, but if you remain patient and keep abstaining from porn your penile function will return. Wish you the best on your journey!
     
  3. Superunknown

    Superunknown Member

    Miller,

    Im in the same boat. 37. been rebooting for years. I get frequent mw and during sleep. Like every night. I turn over to rub it on my gf or put it in and it goes away. My 1st theory? At this point we have cured the PIED and are now dealing with a heavy case of performance anxiety. Which I get...when I think of sexual encounters right now I get a stab of anxiety which all experts agree can kill your wood. Its so deeply ingrained in us because weve had this issue for so long its going to be hard to overcome.

    What Im doing now, is when we fool around we pretend my penis doesnt exist. Im seeing a sex therapist and this is how she treats PA. Gabe rewired with a loving partner for 15 months before sex started working so going to try it his way. So this is my second theory - some of us not only need a long hefty reboot, but long hefty rewire.

    3rd theory. Some of us just have natural low sex energy. We need to conserve it. I think this is why orgasm sends some dudes back into flatline. So Im reading books now how to sex without orgasm. I recommend "the multi orgasmic man" as well as "she comes first" which will make you an EXPERT at cunnilungus, so you have that in your toolbox, so you dont have to stress out about not having an erection. Anyways, my take. I wish I was cured and could give you a blueprint for success but Im still struggling.

    Last bit of advice, anxiety and depression doesnt help our condition. Download the app headspace and start meditating 15 minutes per day. It completely obliterated my lifelong struggle with anxiety...I know it sounds hokey but trust me it worked. I dont know if it was placebo or what but for the first time in my life I feel normal.

    Stay strong brother. This is the absolute worst. I love you for going through it with me.
     
    Miller111 and Pete McVries like this.
  4. Miller111

    Miller111 New Member


    @Superunknown Hi mate - thanks for this I wish you the best as well.

    I’m confused on your timeline though? You’ve been rebooting for years but still not fixed? Have you relapsed in this time?

    Also you say you have cured your anxiety with meditation? But you suffer with performance anxiety?

    How do you know you’ve cured pied and how long did it take after a steak of abstinence?
     
  5. Superunknown

    Superunknown Member

    So my reboots Ive been doing for years are sporadic. Like I would make it three months, then try and have sex. It would work a few times, then go away. Then Id try a longer reboot. Sometimes Id make it two months, then get drunk and have sex, wouldnt work, then would have to start over. Ive been doing this cycle for years. For me its not even about PM anymore, its just avoiding the orgasm for long periods. Its the only thing thats ever worked. My most effective reboot was six months, zero contact with women. I was having sex like a God for about a month and then it started waning. I havent actually viewed porn in years. Recently I made it five months and it didnt work.

    Dont let me discourage you. I suspect I have something else going on and that Ive beat PIED. As I can remember once or twice as a teenager, the opportunity for sex presented itself and I wasnt ready. I thought nothing of it at the time because thats not what a 17 yo thinks about but it makes me suspect now my problems were starting prior to porn. In fact, I started having difficulty after a 16 month deployment in which I had no sex, but masturbated like 3x a day to fantasy and porn mags. Came back, screwed some sorority girl, failed, and was like wtf im 21!? And its been a nightmare ever since.

    Yes Ive cured my anxiety with meditation. And we *think* I suffer from performance anxiety because thats the usual culprit in young ED where theres no sexual trauma or something like that, of which Im pretty sure I have none. My theory is maybe, as a teen i had PE, so maybe my subconcious is just really embarrassed, and so doesnt let me get hard anymore to save myself the embrassment. The brain is powerful.

    After my six month reboot, I had sex once. It was lackluster. In fact I think i did it 1-3x and it wasnt very good. But then...some switch flipped on and I was getting rock hard effortless bones before my pants even came off. I felt a rush of horniness that I havent felt since I was working correctly, and that I dont even feel now even when Im erect. THATS how you know youre cured.

    I am a little disgruntled people take for granted their ability to have daily sex when some of us have been robbed of the experience. Its so glorious when it works.

    I hope Ive been clear, let me know if I need to elaborate on any point.
     

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