How I managed to get my life on track

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Tomato76, Jun 26, 2017.

  1. A New Man

    A New Man White Knuckle Brigade 2013

    Speaking of received wisdom, Pope John Paul II had this to say about porn: "There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little." I'm not religious, but i think this pretty much nails it.
     
    Saville likes this.
  2. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    AMEN! AMEN! AMEN ! :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2018
    A New Man likes this.
  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is awesome, Tomato. Going no fap, no PMO, really does create a paradigm shift, one that allows for a better life.
     
    Libertad likes this.
  4. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Hooray. Had sex with the OH today. That and more intimacy in last week is a big step in right direction after pretty much none over the last several months.

    We had a great day togther yesterday so this was another nice thing for us to have shared this weekend.

    Also just goes to show how PMO had created such unhealthy thinking in me that just over a month ago I had convinced myself we did not have sex because I had lost interest and the chemistry had gone. Part of that was true (i.e. I lost interest due to PMO) and while I would not say we have never had the most chemistry of a couple we do and can connect. PMO truly does cloud your ability to love and appreciate the things/people that are close to you.

    Now what I have to do, is be weary of how it will try and turn me on to browsing escort sites again, saying its ok and theres no harm given we recently had sex.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  5. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    That is so true.
     
  6. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Working from home today. Usually get "the calling" when WFH. Being aware, acknowledging it, and letting it pass.

    Had about 30 mins stress in middle of night last night, woke up thinking about work and being trapped in stressful job for years, having just signed a new contract with a long notice period. Felt better when I woke up. However, I am wondering how much experiences such as thiss seed the call of F and (P)MO.
     
  7. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Those experienced seed pmo and f o a great deal. Hang in there u are doing fine.
     
  8. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Cheers Bobo. Alas the temptation got me :( Fuck! I had done about 5 weeks, restored some intimacy with OH. Hope I can regain it quicker than the 5 weeks it took to get me back to last weekend.

    The only slight positive is that I brought my OH into fantasy, but on reflection that a load of justification.

    Man, I am so fucking disappointed. Fucks sake!
     
  9. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Another positive is you didn't watch any porn.
     
  10. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Well, it was 5 weeks. So I have to take the positive. But end of the day it came because my partner threatened to leave me. I am worried that there is now going to be a big relapse, back to the old ways until the cycle of upsetting my partner resumes. I can't rely on motivating myself to be sober through someone elses' upset.
     
  11. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Now beginning to get chaser effect. God this shit is fucking annoying.
     
  12. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Thanks dig deep.

    I like your profile pic. If it is important you will find a way, if it is not you will find an excuse.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  13. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Bingo. Our journey!

    Yes it is. But great pay offs are in store.

    You just encapsulated my philosophy and rather succinctly. You're doing great Tomato76. Be fierce. Be a warrior. You're worth it.
     
  14. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Working from home again. Accountability post. Aiming not to repeat yesterday.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  15. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    You will be ok. Just keep thinking as u do.
     
    Tomato76 likes this.
  16. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Thanks bobo
     
  17. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Managed to avoid the fap (so far) today when WFH.

    The call usually comes in the morning so hoping the back of the urge has been broken now.
     
  18. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    I hate to say this but what is WFH
     
  19. Tomato76

    Tomato76 Active Member

    Working from home! :)
     
  20. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Ah So !
     

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