How do I get into a relationship. Afraid of getting hurt.

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by confusedindividual, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. iI've been off porn for like 8 months with 2 relapses during that time and yet I haven't had any sex or even come close (apart from when I approached a girl on the street once). My fear of getting rejected still holds me back big time even though I'm a decent looking guy and have a good physique from working out 4 times a week for the past two years. It's as if a part of me deep down believes I"m not worthy or something. I've been through a chronic depression and came close to suicide a couple of times after one of my brothers hanged himself 6 years ago. I would really like to be in a relationship deep down but i guess have a fear of being hurt and going through the depression I've been through again, that would be too much. I'm passionate about working out and want to become a personal trainer. My longest relationship was 3 or 4 months with a woman I didn't care too much for and during that time I was on nofap without knowing it simply because I had no access to internet porn at the time. I remember gatting hard when we would make out and cuddle but we never had sex for reasons I would rather not go into (nothing personal). Anyway I ended up moving and haven't even come close to being in a relationship since. Any advice from you guys could really help. Thanx.
  2. HealthyHabits

    HealthyHabits I believe I've had my fill of filth.

    Hey man,

    I would suggest casually dating to find someone you connect with. If your job or social circles haven't done anything for you in terms of dating material, you can try online options which have worked for me and are becoming more and more prevalent. Or you can just approach on the street or at a bar as you said.

    You will have to get over your fear of rejection by simply going for it again and again. You shouldn't beat yourself up over a bad night out, try to find what you like about yourself (for example your outstanding physique, sense of humor, pride at work, etc) and let that anchor your opinion of yourself, not what some random girl may think of you. And when you find that positive experience, you will gain confidence from it and therefore your fear of rejection will decrease. At times it will suck (I've been there) but along with anything else, practice and determination will help you find what you are looking for in a partner.

    Remember that anxiety or hesitancy are normal when meeting someone new, and you will relax with time. Good luck brotha! I wish you the best and congrats on your progress toward ridding your life of porn.

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