UPDATE: Things are going pretty good. I'm in the process of swimsuit shopping which has given me much anxiety. The models are always so perfect and I know that my distorted body image gets in the way of me being able to choose a suit. Then there is the voice in the back of my head telling me that my husband wants the models (even if he isn't looking at them) and he thinks they are hotter than me. I keep trying to tell myself that it is perfectly ok for me to have these feelings and feelings of discouragement. Feeling secure in the relationship is a process and I will get there. My husband is so patient and loving it is unbelievable. His level of empathy for me and my anxiety is so nice. I found out that he struggles with insecurities in our relationship as well. Scared that I am going to go find someone who doesn't struggle with P addiction, scared that I want or desire other people. It's ironic the feelings that we share. His feelings like this I think triggered him at times. This helps me to understand that this is an addiction and not just a choice. That he really doesn't want to look at p! That is was a go to, an antidote for pain that never fulfilled him. A temporary fix. If I could just stay with that thought, oh my life would be golden.