Ok....after several months of working a reboot / rewire, a process that is going very slowly for me (which as an "older guy" it supposedly shouldn't be), I want to get my story on here, first to get some input from more experienced people about how things are going, and second to start journaling things as they happen, as there is a lot of various activity that may or may not be instructive for me or others. Short Summary of My Story I am a lifelong MO guy, having been in a long marriage with a woman with a low sex drive, and discovered PMO somewhere around 2005-6. I PMO'd daily probably since then. I recently got divorced, and then met a great new woman and it was then that I discovered I had PIED. Have been trying to reboot since Dec 2014 (so about 4 months now) and while I'm having no trouble at all as far as relapses or temptations for porn, the ED issues are still a major problem, along with PE. I'm getting frustrated and I worry how much patience my awesome new girlfriend is going to have for this reboot which seems to be taking a long, long time. Background / History Like any teenager, I discovered the joys of MO and then indulged in those joys frequently. As a teen it was mainly Playboy and Skinemax I guess. I used to set my alarm for the middle of the night to watch some of the movies.... I also had an active sex life in high school (oddly my best success with women was in high school), so it was all good. In college I had less actual sex and more MO, which I guess would have been either Playboy or just imagination. In my early 20s I met my wife, who was raised in such a way that she sort of feared sex, and either due to that or in addition to that had a low libido. So I got into what was pretty much a sexless marriage right from the outset. Thus, I never stopped MO because my sex drive was always high. I would estimate that I would MO once a day on average. Time went on, and the Internet arrived, and the MO sessions went from magazines and movies to photos online. Oddly, I didn't really discover even porn videos until sometime around this period - early 2000s, but I remember how exciting those were. Then once tube sites started popping up, I started using those for daily PMO, which was still at least once per day, maybe more sometimes. I'll note that my tastes in porn never got extreme like is often reported - they were always pretty vanilla as far as things I liked to watch - nothing I'd be embarrassed to admit. But I did notice over time it took more videos and more time to PMO than it did at the outset. I wasn't intentionally edging but sessions probably got to the 30 minute range as I searched for something that would be exciting enough to get me over the edge. Since I had a pretty low frequency sex life with my wife, I didn't really notice that problems were brewing, but in retrospect I can see that they were. For example on the rare times we would have sexual encounters, I generally was only able to O by doing it myself, often watching her do porn-type things (again keep in mind my tastes were vanilla). On the rare cases we would have sex, I would feel very little, and more often than not lose my erection. I don't remember really having an pure ED, but usually I would have to be the one to stimulate it. She really couldn't get much effect. My second chance We got divorced in early 2014, and I imagined a wonderful single life where I could finally start having sex again. After a while of bad first dates and just re-learning how to be single, I happened across a great girl who I have really hit it off with - we get along great, and everything seems to click. However, I was shocked the first time I went into her bed and there was nothing happening down there - not even a 10% erection. She is very attractive and let's face it this was the first time I was with someone new for 20 years - you'd think I'd be excited. I ran home that day (this was Dec 2014) and some google searches didn't take me long to find sites like this and YBOP and I felt I pretty strongly had all the symptoms of PIED. I immediately decided to give up porn, and I want to make sure that I make it clear that this was not difficult for me. I did not experience the withdrawal symptoms that people describe, and did not really feel much temptation or urge to PMO once I found out what was happening. I know that PIED is a result of porn addiction, and I am sure that I have the addiction-related changes in my brain, but I found "beating" the addiction incredibly simple. I have not PMO or MO since that day, and have not really felt much desire to do so. That was not hard for me. What has been a struggle is getting my erectile function back. And the problem is that my new girlfriend has a very high sex drive and really wants sex, and I just cannot perform...and it's really getting to me. Reboot I did not journal my reboot, but I will try to remember key parts and summarize here. Through the first 2 months we would constantly try to get things going. I think over time there started to be some slight signs of life - I believe at first I would O with barely any erection (which really surprised her - she hadn't seen that happen). We tried penetration but there usually wasn't enough for that. Had a few cases where maybe we got mild penetration with like a 60% erection or so, but then if that happened there would next be PE, and it was all over in 30 seconds or less. My desire for sex seemed high, but in retrospect it was more the mental and emotional side of it - new relationship, etc. I don't think it was true libido. There was a 2 week period where we didn't see each other as I was out of town. When we saw each other again, I was hopeful that the break would do some good (I also did not O during that period which was probably the longest period of no O), but the first night there was nothing. Then, oddly, the next couple of days I got a decent (70%-80% maybe) erection from just kissing, and we had sex a few times. PE was still an issue, but it was nice to get the easy erections. However, I don't remember how, that sort of stopped and things reverted back to basically nothing happening. At that point I got a bit more desperate and tried to go longer periods without O. I was thinking maybe the O was messing things up, so if I got close we would stop. The erections were still erratic, and any time we had penetration it would lead to near-instant PE feelings, so we had to stop. However, during this time I started getting morning wood, which I feel like I haven't had for a while. It's not really morning wood - I find I have it in the middle of the night but not when I wake up, but at least it's there. A few weeks ago there was one day when I had a lot of sexual thoughts, which I don't have often. That night when I saw her it was a bad day in her cycle, but still I had a pretty good erection for a long time with manual and oral stimulation, without the PE feelings. And the next morning I also had good erections but we didn't "do" anything about them as I had to go. Then, oddly after that day, I felt my libido drop and then the ED was back in basically full force - nothing happening. Finally, last night, after three weeks or so of no O, I got a slight erection through manual stimulation, and suddenly and quickly PE feelings were there and I O'd for the first time in weeks. No clue what that will do. So that's my background. As an "older guy" I've read / heard that the reboot should be faster, but it's been more than 4 months now and I usually do not find that the ED seems any better than the start. Yes, I've had moments here and there along the way, but it seems to revert to basically full-on ED. As I said I have had no MO and no PMO and no temptation to use porn at all. I guess some of my questions are: - Are there other older guys with the same type of story - long reboot without any PMO or sense of relapse, but the ED continues on and on. Will it ever go away? - I wonder should I be having orgasms with my girlfriend or not. I feel like I've tried both ways, and neither seems to help or hurt the recovery process in a predictable fashion. - What else can I do? I'm doing no MO / PMO, I have constant intimate contact with a real woman, I am taking all sorts of supplements / herbs that I'm sure are doing nothing but I'm desperate. How can I fix it? So yeah, my questions are the same as anyone's I guess - will I be OK, and when will I be OK? How can I make this hell end?