HOPE FOR EVERYONE

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Kichijiro, Aug 19, 2020.

  1. Kichijiro

    Kichijiro Member

    I feel like what I have been through is a story of hope for anyone anywhere! I went from being a virgin who developed PIED in his late twenties/early thirties to porn- and largely-PIED-free!

    I was really conservative in high school, college and post-college. The communities I was in then reinforced what they called "purity" or "chastity" but was actually a teaching that physical intimacy for unmarried people was "bad" or "dirty". In my mid-twenties I became agnostic which allowed me to reject those ideas about physical intimacy, but also let me more off the hook when it came to porn use. Basically I was no longer accountable to anyone.

    Though I had had a girlfriend in high school, my sex life was essentially non-existent before developing PIED. Due largely to my sheltered upbringing (which I don't knock entirely) I didn't first masturbate to completion until I was nearly twenty-two! My first kiss wasn't until I was twenty-six. And it wasn't until I was thirty that I first received oral sex. I say all this to underscore how late and little sexual activity I had before developing PIED in my late twenties/going into my thirties.

    So it wasn't until my late twenties that I started to regularly use porn. From the ages of roughly twenty-seven to thirty-one I used porn an average of three to four times a week (maybe five to six towards the end) for ten to twenty minutes at a time. It was during this time that I conditioned myself to respond sexually only to internet video porn. While I was able to perform on demand for that oral experience when I was thirty, I'm sure my mind was already beginning to rewire to porn. About a year and some months later, I noticed I had stopped getting spontaneous erections and was having arousal problems when with women in intimate situations. It was around this time as I was searching for answers that I learned about PIED and began my own no-PMO journey. Unfortunately the timing coincided with a painful rejection by a woman after an unsuccessful liaison.

    The gravity of what I had done to myself through my own decisions and habits nearly broke me. I spiraled into depression and insomnia, losing ten pounds in a month. My greatest aspirations in life were a spouse, a healthy sex life, and eventually kids and I thought at thirty-one I had ruined those chances for the rest of my life. Thankfully a couple friends and my dad really helped support me through this period. Over the next several months I continued to abstain from porn and do my best to limit masturbation and orgasm. I used the time to learn about all I had to offer as a person and potential partner and to get serious about looking for quality partners.

    Then surprisingly to me I met someone really fantastic through an app. And even better she had no problem joining me on my no-PMO journey! A few months in, we had had some slip ups keeping me from orgasm together, but I also started to notice some real progress. Now, another few months later, I can say that if I didn't heal from PIED any more than I already have I would still have a very happy sex life.

    I have learned so much from this process and am immensely grateful, but the main message I would have for others, besides the danger of conditioning to the false intimacy of porn, is a message of hope. If I could retrain my virgin, thirty-two year old brain from arousal to only porn to arousal to real people then I feel like anyone can!

    Much thanks to Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem and Noah Church who encouraged me tremendously!
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2020
  2. Kenny75

    Kenny75 New Member

    @Kichijiro
    Thank you for that, that gives me hope. Great to hear your success and i wish you the best in life!
     
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  3. william232323

    william232323 New Member

    congratulation man
    can I ask about quality of your erection now? your libido and genrelly your sexlife ??
    can you get up only with thought ??
     
  4. Kichijiro

    Kichijiro Member

    Hey william232323, thanks for the questions!

    I actually posted this after I broke up with my girlfriend. I will answer your questions as best I can with the info I have.

    This is what I think: my sexual performance post-PIED is probably greatly tied to (a) my general affection for the person and (b) the regularity with which we've been intimate, that is, the more regularly and recently I have been intimate with a person the more likely I am going to perform well (erection "acceleration", strength and duration). I even think - and posted about this on my blog - that, after a week apart, if I get intimate with my partner Fri night, Sat night and Sun night, that my performance is going to be better Sat night than Fri, and better Sun night than Sat.

    I have had a couple one-night-stands since the break up. I was pretty drunk and it was pretty late both times. We were able to get me aroused enough for sex both times, twice each time, but I didn't finish the second second time, if that makes sense.

    I would say my libido is pretty good, but since I am not dating anyone I don't have a sex life really to speak of currently.

    Getting it up only with thought is not something I really try. I will say that when I was with my girlfriend I was able to get pretty aroused (80%, 90%, or more?) just from peeking at her boob or light kissing, but then that wouldn't happen just any or every day. A lot of guys say recovery is not linear. (I think Life is not linear, either!)

    Hope this helps.
     
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