Holding myself accountable

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Caz, Aug 9, 2023.

  1. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Last night was good - getting into a reading before bed routine.
    This am not so much, M in the shower wo release. Thought about it. One of my main issues is I can only O in prone. I have been hoping to MO by hand. And so every few days I try M with my hand. I think I need to completely avoid M as well. Don’t know if I can do it but there is no other option.

    Day 0 - no more M.
  2. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    M is a slippery slope. Maybe not the best choice of words there :rolleyes:, but I know how it usually gets me in trouble. So good for you for resetting. For what it's worth, I was a "prone" M'er most of my life. It's only been about the last 10 years or so that I switched to the hand. Either way, though, the end result is the same, though yanking on it probably does more damage to the pipes.

    Stay strong. Without M.
    path-forward likes this.
  3. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Checking in. Caught a bad cold from kids who returned to school. Knocked me out. Only positive is I was too weak to do anything so no PMO no M streak is going. Day 6-8 are my usual fails so will have to be careful over the weekend or maybe I’ll catch a cold to knock me out again.

    grayscale. Reading and keeping away from phone as well - I rarely take the phone into the bathroom now. At work it’s shoking how many guys are in the can with their phones.

    trying to stay strong.
    path-forward likes this.
  4. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Fail. MO (prone) this am broke 9 day streak. Resetting that date.

    some positives: went more than 7 days.
    - barely took 2-3 minutes
    - no porn no phone, Just very basic F.

    Cons. Want to MO again. Thought I got it out of my system but nope. Been a rough morning. I cant concentrate on work and have plenty to do.

    Hoping back to back meetings will keep me distracted.

    This is a tough!
  5. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Held off yesterday and this morning.
    Lets see how long this lasts.
    path-forward likes this.
  6. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Another day. Still fighting.
    Gil79 and path-forward like this.
  7. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Spent Saturday with some family- lot of driving but was good and relaxed. Staying off the phone is helping me a lot. My Screentime yesterday was as barely an hour.

    Planning same for today.
    path-forward and Mozenjo like this.
  8. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Checking in as the itch is growing. Sunday was busy with chores. Worked a double shift on Monday. So was good those two days.
    WFH today and have been itching and itching. Trying to keep fighting.
    Gil79 and path-forward like this.
  9. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Well, you know: the more you scratch, the more it itches. Stay the course!
  10. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    Fought Tuesday and Wednesday but Wednesday night I fell to MO repeatedly. I MO’d 4 times on Thursday. And 2x a day since. The Ms were quick and efficient. The Os were miniscule - like a quick hit but wore off faster. tried to keep busy yesterday and today. This am just couldn’t get out till I caved. Fighting it tonight.

    I can’t seem to get past the 7-8 day. The buildup is just too much and the slightest stress breaks me.

    Recurring theme of Resetting to 0.
    the one positive is the lack of need of Pvideos, I think that’s one thing I’ve beat.
  11. Caz

    Caz Active Member

    I was hoping to get to 7 days without MO. But failed yesterday. Almost seems I’m going backwards. But yesterday felt good and normal. Today I want to MO but fighting by Distracting myself. I did look at some non nude images but it’s still porn. I’ll update the date which makes me feel worse which makes me want to MO more. I’m going to fight it and go to sleep all grumpy. Guessing this is like a withdrawal.
    I need to put restrictions on images as well don’t know why I keep thingink that is better than videos.Justifying Deluding myself.

    just venting I guess. I need to get off this phone . Didn’t think I had phone internet addiction but guess I do. Add to the list.

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