Hi, hard to know how to start this, or to understand the motivation to journal. In my mind I have known I have had an addiction to porn since 2004 or 05... always found porn really exciting, but I think from this time I started watching for hours on end online. I then started to notice weaker erections. I'm mid forties, divorced and would consider myself to have a dual addiction from alcohol and porn. I think I lose weekends to these addictions. I have a new girlfriend, and I noticed now I have no libido and even during sex could not finish. Had little enjoyment etc. People consider me a kind, funny, hard working man. Maybe I keep people at a distance and this had led me to choose women who are emotionally distant. The woman I picked as a wife was someone my whole family warned me against. So there is some deeper therapy work to do. I have an opportunity I won't see my girlfriend for two months and I wondered if I might try and do a total reboot starting from today. Not sure what else to write but this hidden dark side to me, I want to confront it and integrate it, i.e. understand what need it is satisfying and be more emotionally literate.