Hi guys. Sorry I haven't been around for so long. It hasn't been a good 12 days and the reason I haven't been posting is cos I was too embarrased to admit that I've been so crap. I have been viewing P and P-subs on-and-off, flipping between self-loathing and determination to stop again - but not brave enough to come here and tell you guys how things were going. Sorry brothers... I'm back and properly determined to stay clean. These are some of the things I think I have learned: 1. I am an addict, and this addiction is resillient. It fights back and ignoring it is not an option. 2. Addiction & resulting shame seek to isolate us from each other cos addiction feeds on shame, and shame can't exist when we share our problems on YBR. 3. Healing comes in community. I know I don't owe anyone an apology (apart from God and myself) but I want to apologise for my feeble self-control over the last few weeks and thenk you all again for the community and support.