Here we Go, Again.

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by superduper, Jul 21, 2018.

  1. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Active Member

    I actually did a test like this when I thought I was having POIS versus pmo addiction. The guy who ran the group said "if you want to know which problem you're dealing with, try watching porn without mastrubating." It was genius, because I did that multiple times and days later still got the weird anxiety, depersonalization and brain fog symptoms. Although an actual orgasm with porn makes me feel way worse than just watching porn, taking weeks off of porn and then orgasming I feel much, much better. It's the porn. Definitely.
  2. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Well I'm currently engaged in a challenge with my friends to NoFap as well. However I only count a relapse if I orgasm.
    My problem is that even masturbation is no good because of the desensitization from porn, it takes way too much stimulation to maintain an erection. I'd rather go cold turkey until I get fully balanced out again. I did edge a few times this week but haven't been releasing.
    I've also had an extra difficulty being unemployed and rather isolated so I'm spending too much time at home, so I'll be getting out of the house more. Also have family visiting so that will keep me occupied for a week.

    How do you not like fall...its such a calm period of transition, the weather is always perfect for me because I like the balance between hot/cold.

    Today's gratitude:
    Grateful for my parents as much as they've been difficult, I have to give them credit for the positives
    Super safe and stable childhood
    No health problems (that I'm aware of anyway)
    All my tools of convenience like cooking supplies, furniture, etc
  3. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Active Member

    Maybe it's growing up in a place where fall is a precursor to 6 months of winter and I really hate winter. Fall is like the pre-game show of a sport you hate to watch. I don't hate it as much as the real show, but it's just a harbinger of death.
    Don't forget, the whole NoFap cult was invented when a couple guys decided to try their own willpower based on the Seinfeld episode about not masturbating.
  4. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    I find autumn and winter great times for being creative - almost like the focus naturally goes a little more introspective, and im less bothered about socializing and women etc

    P.s. ive borrowed your gratitude journal idea, its a good one :)
  5. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    I can see that, I guess I always liked winter as well growing up at least..Generally I just like when seasons change.

    Glad to hear man, when I've used it in the past it greatly improved my mood with a week or so. And then at some point I take the benefit for granted and all good habits lol.
    I haven't been on this past week because I had family visiting so I wasn't on the computer at all, which was a good thing and a needed break. Now I'm back on my routine.

    Grateful for my new running shorts, very comfortable.
    Also my heart rate monitor, I love metrics for exercise.

    Going to add a new segment, which is Future Excitement:
    Looking forward to finishing up 2 big art projects for myself
    Looking forward to my next girlfriend relationship
    Looking forward to finally beating this Pron shit once and for all, getting morning wood back
    Looking forward to hitting my weight lifting goals end of this year or next
    Looking forward to my next move to a city
    Joshua Shea likes this.
  6. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Active Member

    @superduper I love the Future Excitement idea. I was telling my therapist the other day I didn't have trouble staying away from porn, and I could logically be grateful for things in my life, but I just haven't felt that little spark, or passion, for things that I used to have. Thanks for the great idea.
  7. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Glad to hear it.

    My biggest issue that I partially blame to porn addiction is the loss of anticipatory excitement. I stopped being able to visualize things mentally and getting excited, basically brain fog. But I could maintain excitement in the immediate term with porn visual.
    So a big key for me is getting that forward focus!

    I feel fantastic today. I think it's because I did cardio yesterday morning, which I've been neglecting. Just going for an off/on run about 45 min seemed to have rejuvenated me, because I had an amazing night sleep and didn't oversleep at all.
    Cardio = key

    Todays gratitude:
    - protein shakes
    - computer science book in the mail
    - time to follow my vision

    Future Excitement:
    - finally completing my big project and getting revenue from it
    - new place to move eventually
    - owning property with a nice work space
    - finding a great girlfriend
    - achieving weight lifting goals and physique
    cjm likes this.
  8. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Happy to say No Porn / No Fap is well on track. I'm not keeping track of days because I find it to be hurtful, rather than helpful. I don't need a number to motivate me and it creates a useless pressure if you fail.
    I just focus on individual days.

    I haven't even been teasing my dick with a single stroke on the frenulum, I'm going hard mode.

    Super Mario 64
    Comfort clothes
    Nice socks
    Phone call with my grandpa
    No rain this week

    Future Excitement:
    Finishing this damn project finally!
    Making more art, creating a name for myself
    Getting a hot gf
    Owning property
    More travelling
    Creating a business
    New car eventually
    More fitness goals
  9. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Sup guys. I had a minor cheat of 10-15 min edging with soft porn but I stopped and went outside, got some food and Im back.

    Sunny weather today
    Comfortable shorts
    Energy drinks

    Future Excitement:
    Finishing this art piece
    Getting my libido fully restored
    new places to travel
    New things to learn
    New music to appreciate
  10. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    New day, new me.

    Had a good night sleep, and an almost sex dream. In my dream I was worried about ED from porn usage. Funny how real life worries seep into dreams. Was a good reminder I need to get this out of my life for good, can't waste any more time.

    I've noticed my libido starting to creep back in a good way. When I talk about libido I mean the natural sexual energy coming from anticipating sex, as opposed to the visual stimulation from porn. 2 very different things in my experience.
    Horniness is a very strong and specific feeling that I lost after years of fapping to porn, to the point I almost forgot how it feels. Its coming back again, just have to stay on top of it.

    my bed
    laundry room

    Future Excitement:
    Hot gf
    Getting full erections again
    New attitude for enjoying life
    New social circles with cool successful people
    New clothes styles
    More financial success
  11. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Cheated with edging yesterday, ugh.
    Going to hold myself to hardmode today, guaranteed. No cheats today.

    Relaxing sundays
    Peaceful times
    Online learning tutorials
    My motivation and drive

    Future Excitement:
    Eventual gf
    Big creative projects
    Learning new skills
  12. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Been keeping solid with no ejaculating at home. Had some minor edges but keeping it pretty solid. Will be clean today.

    Comfort shorts
    running gear
    Time to change my path
    Comments on my recent art

    Future Excitement:
    New improvements to myself
    Getting libido fully back
    Eventual meetings with artists
  13. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Had a good day yesterday, kept it fully clean, will stay on the roll.

    Grateful for many things:
    Memories of my homestate
    The ocean/beach
    My functioning body for exercise
    New horizons

    I felt myself starting to lose some positive emotion so I'm monitoring myself closely and keeping up the self-talk. If I start to slip with positivity I'll feel it fast, its like failing to work out.
  14. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Wasn't feeling anything new to report the past few days, but I've been able to stay off any orgasm. I did edge for a few minutes on one day, not happy with that but I'm still holding it together overall. Not keeping track of days but its been awhile since I gave myself a release at home.

    Cinnamon rolls
    Fresh knowledge and books
    Todays outfit
    Friends to keep in contact

    Future excitement:
    Brand new project ideas
    New cash flows
    Massive bank account eventually
    New gf
    New places to see
  15. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Happy to say I still haven't released to orgasm since I've been on this streak. Did cheat with some porn and edging but keeping release free.

    Beautiful weather
    Great anime show Megalo Box
    Progress on my project is looking great
    Job opportunities around the corner

    Future excitement:

    Getting this art completely done and presented!!!!
    Finishing up my first mobile game to market!!
    Hitting bigger and better lifting goals, getting better physique
    Settling down with a quality GF
  16. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Whats up peeps.
    I started getting out of my good sleep routine and felt the negative effects on my mood immediately. Not really related to porn or anything, just something to note for myself. I need to stick to the good sleep habit.

    My quality workout outfits
    My current progress on art
    My friends who can help support me

    Higher levels of fitness, success
    More happy attitude
    Finally getting proper libido back
  17. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Been a week already, damn son.
    Happy to say I've not given myself a release at all this week.
    I did edge to porn a little and I feel like shit for doing it.
    Going to completely cut it out from here on out.
    Making a promise to myself that I will not give in.

    I have too many big things to do.
    I have a calling that requires my focus, integrity, and grit.

    So grateful today for all my childhood memories.
    Grateful for:
    Super mario 64
    Nintendo 64 in general, was a huge part of my childhood and my passion
    the changing of the seasons
    comfortable sweatshirts
    Coffee and tea
    Ground beef burgers
  18. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Been a few weeks, some off and on stuff.
    Basically got tired of posting the same thing every day!
    But I noticed as I let my sleep schedule go wack and I stopped posting, same ol negativity STARTED to creep back. But I'm on it.
    Been fapping but really focusing on keeping the porn to a minimum. As long as I keep porn mostly out of my consciousness, I think it's enough to heal.
    The other side of it for me, is just keeping positive momentum in the rest of my life.

    Nintendo 64 memories!
    Kratom, makes me feel so relaxed
    Beautiful weather today
    So much great content to learn on the internet
    I still look young for my age

    Owning property no doubt
    New business ventures
    Levelling up in all areas of life
    Improving my sense of humor
  19. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    I'mmmmmmmmmm back.

    Had some good days and bad days...definitely feel the effects of going back to porn and bad habits and its KILLING me! Exagerrating but yeah need to stay on it.
    I hate how I always go on/off the train..

    Anyway, that being said, need to force myself to do this every morning whether it helps or not.

    Nice cup of coffee
    Progress on my current project
    The sun is out
    Strength gains over this year, more to come in the future
    SO many dope memories of video games and anime growing up, those things light the fire of my passion.
    Love art, digital art, animation, crazy shit and characters.

  20. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Ok keeping the ball rolling.
    No porn for today is the plan
    Have a huge chunk of work that I need to accomplish

    Good health
    Friends and connections
    The vast resources of the internet

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