This is my first post. I'm totally lost. So I have read every aspect of porn addiction to the point it angers me I am still struggling with this. I know the problem, but I cannot seem to solve it. I used to blame the co-occurring addiction of alcohol, but I essentially stopped that. Quitting alcohol is easy, compared to porn. And my addiction has progressed over the years to not even porn, but more sexting with prostitutes while looking at their online ads. I never actually go visit them, but I do get excited by the potential. Although in the past I have seen a few, I do not anymore. Too risky and it got to the point I couldn't perform. Then that leads to a porn relapse and binge. I hate it. I've known I've had some type of sex addiction for at least 10 years. Maybe 15. Porn was the start and I was able to get out of it for awhile. I've been trying for at least 8 years. But I was always in bad relationships with women who were not supportive or downright abusive. The women I dated were drunks, had anger issues, or refused to commit. This made things worse. I always had a good erection and great sex with my one long-time girlfriend. When that ended, after she cheated on me, I was devastated. She also got an STI, which fortunately, I did not. But I do have PIED now. I sometimes get amazing morning wood, but I cannot get up for a woman or even for porn anymore. I'm lifeless down there, except when I sleep. It's odd. I feel like my excitement to sexting/porn is disconnected from the physical act of getting an erection. At one time recently, I could sit in bed and fantasize about a previous ex or a local woman I met and get rock hard. Now that doesn't happen. I usually go PMO free for 2-3 weeks and then relapse for some stupid reason like female rejection or anger. Then I start again. I block all websites and internet access from my phone and somehow 2 weeks later I feel great, think I'm cured, and fall back into the trap. I don't think I've had good physical sex in 2 years or more. Every experience has been a failure. Which breeds more shame, more anger, and more relapse. I'm not sure what else to do. The most I made it was 63 days. And I was doing great! Then I was unable to perform with a woman and lost it. Granted it was a one-night thing where I was expected to be a machine, rather than a man. It was not a true intimate relationship. I don't even know if I know what a true relationship is. Most of them started with great sex, rather than any intimacy. But now since I can't start with sex, they don't start at all. I know getting back on the wagon and staying away from all porn is the only answer, but sex is everywhere. Online, offline, in news articles. It's hard to resist. I'm a fairly attractive guy and I sometimes even have women throw themselves at me, only for me to get nervous and unable to perform. Then more shame. I do seek out real women and tried dating apps, only to realize those are just like porn or hookup apps. So now what? Shut off from the world? Lock myself in a box for 3 months? I exercise, I meditate, I eat well, I read, and I know the downsides to porn. But I relapse. I don't get it. Is it porn? Is anxiety? Is it depression? Perhaps all 3? I don't know, but something is definitely not right. It seems I should be further along. Any thoughts or suggestions?