Greetings! Don't know exactly how I'm supposed to start this, so here goes nothing.. I'm 21 years old and have discovered porn when I was about 16 years of age. I've been trying to quit for over 3 months now, but never made any particular headway UNTIL i found this site. I've gone on and off of porn for a long time, managing as far as 1 week without PMO, but I still reluctantly relapsed every time. How it started and how it went downhill.... I found porn as soon as I got an internet connection. At first it was simple google searches, but over time I got better and better at it. After about 1 year I was downloading vast torrent collections, and splicing together compilations of videos. Probably the worst part about porn for me was how it related to my sexuality. You see, I've had a fetish for a girl''s hips and belly for as long as I can remember. I've never considered it particularly wrong or shameful, but was still a bit shy about grabbing a girl's waist. When I discovered internet porn, my first thought was to try and "fill the gap", and this is when things started going badly.... As this wasn't something common, even in internet porn, I turned to the only kind of niche that had anything in common: pregnant women. In those movies , those women's bellies were in the center of attention, and that was the only thing that mattered. Honestly, if I were ever in a position to actually have sex with a pregnant woman, no matter how attractive she was, I couldn't bring myself to do it. But when I was surfing the internet things changed... That was just one of the numerous bad mental connections my brain had whilst on porn. I also enjoyed breasts, and as I watched more and more movies, I began to crave bigger and bigger breasts to look at. I've just realized that my ideal woman would have to have gigantic tits, while also having more or less an hourglass figure , which meant my standards were ABNORMALLY high. After only 7 or so girlfriends so far, I've realized how many I've turned down due to them not fitting some impossible ideal of mine. Personal worst point... I've discovered and went through hentai. Honestly, the shear lack of limitation on it was staggering. You could draw anything, and there were little limits to it. But still, my personal low-point was a sex game called Club17...something something (I don't remember the name , and DON'T feel like looking it up). It was basically a game where you could rig 3d-models of naked actors in various poses. This basically cut-out the need for movies and pics altogether since I could now MAKE my own porn...... I actually had days in my late 19's where I would spend 4-5 hours stringing together frames of painfully-put-together animation, all so I could get a 5 second loop of two dead-eyed puppets screwing.... Just the thought of it makes me cringe now. How I change... Even though I struggled for 3 months, even this period has been very helpful. I manage to join a gym and have been going for about 2 months now. I've began looking into hobbies. I have a guitar that I (try to) play at least 1 hour a day. I've began learning new skills. New programming stuff, and learning to draw. As far as fighting the urges goes, I've basically kicked O, and am still working on P and M. As of now, I figure that if I completely relapse, the disappointment will be so high I give up, and that's something I simply won't accept. That and the fact that my gym workouts go 3 times better with the built up testosterone is what I use to keep myself away. But I still get some really strong urges. Even with a porn blocker I still find plenty of images (It's damn hard when even a girl's exposed midriff drives me nuts). I usually jerk off for 5 minutes, then remember my oath and stop. This happens 2 times a day. What I use to stop is: -Immediately getting the guitar and playing. Since I'm a beginner, it hurst my fingers like hell and drives the excitement away. -Go look at myself in the mirror and think : I AM better than this. It's a guaranteed stop everytime I do it. I've made this journal to renounce PM, and will update as often as I can. Honestly, even with my sketchy results, I really see the difference. I'm a lot more confident around girls, and can casually make sex jokes without being anxious at all. In turn, girls have began being more attracted to me, (going to the gym helps). My school work as skyrocketed, now without that distraction to go to. Here's to at least 2 full months without anything short of getting laid. Cheers!