Has anyone managed to completely eliminate FEMDOM fetishes??

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by parr, Sep 14, 2013.

  1. parr

    parr New Member

    First of all, my english is not so good so, sorry for that.
    2 months ago i found this website while searching on google how to eliminate my femdom fetish i developed in the past 2 years.
    Finally after 2 months of continuous relapses every 2-3 days , i managed to do a decent (for my standards) amount of days nopmo, 10 days.
    What i want to ask you is if anyone of you with the same fetishes managed to completely eliminate them with the reboot process, i mean with absolutely no more though about it.
    That would really help me stay motivated :)
    Good luck everyone
     
  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    To be honest with you, I don't think you can be able to completely eliminate your fetish.

    The good news is that you don't need to. You can definitely weaken it enough to the point that it no longer affects your life.

    I'm still attracted to shemales, but I rarely fantasize or think about them nowadays.
     
  3. Do not listen to the above poster who simply gave you his struggles instead of giving you the motivation you need. Yes you can get rid of it, but it takes work. The thing that I saw in my life about why I liked that sort of stuff is I was raised by females, so I developed sort of a sensitive, submissive personality. The shemale stuff played right into that "women" who could dominate me and take control. When I started to reboot and rewire, my masculinity started to come through and my tastes rewired themselves back to women in reality. About day 20 into my reboot I think my brain started to switch, and last week I looked back and almost vomited because my brain was in REALITY. Dam, those are completely fucked up distorted dudes who chemically mess themselves up to look like women and fuck guys and girls. I'm still in flatline libido wise, but I'm starting to notice when I talk to women I notice smiles, flowing hair, beautiful shapes, etc. No lie I relapsed a shitload of times to shemale porn in the beginning because it's such a high dopamine kick, but trust me the real world is 1,000 times better.

    Good luck.
     
  4. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    LOL at completely getting rid of a fetish in 3-4 weeks.

    ::)
     
  5. stretcher

    stretcher New Member

    I have the femdom thing too. Makes me ill and I do not accept it.

    I've had two reboots that have lasted longer than a week (about to have my third) and every time, the femdom stuff has been replaced by fantasies where I'm the dominant one/aggressor. Happens right around the Day 7 testosterone spike. People say the longer you go, the more your brain re-wires to that mentality and I believe it, even if my experience is limited. One relapse is enough to bring it back, though; mainly because I haven't gone far enough into rebooting for the re-wire to really set. It'll always be there, but believe them when they say it changes for the better.
     
  6. daone

    daone Where I'm gonna be ought to be uncharted

    after 42 days i have a few strong flashbacks here and there but generally i rarely think about it, in fact i realize the longer i go without porn my more aggressive personality shows itself. I think femdom will go away generally 99% but like heroin or those drugs you will always be reminded of it if you relapse back into porn
     
  7. TheHighRiser

    TheHighRiser Shaman, take my hand.

    I was raised by females as well and felt the same. I developed a fetish to a strange femdom variation alike to that of shemales. Ultimatedly I haven't thought much about that, instead I've been thinking more about normal sex but still those pictures appear often. I think you can rid of most part of it, I still don't know about the totallity.
     
  8. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    You can mold your sexuality any way you want. I don't really know what you mean by "not think aboit it"? It is like asking if a "hard" fetishist will totally eliminate thoughts about vanila sex. It is beyond the point. What is important to me is: if I am going to feel urges to engage in this type of activity. If I am going to get excited by it.
    Here the answer is clear: after few weeks I stopped fantisizing about femdom completely. Vanila sex started to dominate my erotic space. Brain is very plastic and you can lose or develop any type of taste.
     
  9. ChaosGrinder

    ChaosGrinder Active Member

    It depends on how you developed it and how long have you maintained it in your brain.
    To me, my fetish hobby had started even BEFORE I knew what porn is, guess I'm among those "hard" fetishists.
    Hell, 3 weeks of PMO free even make my fetish desire stronger...
    But abstaining will make you more interested in normal sex and stuff, that's for sure.
     
  10. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Where did you get this theory from? Maybe your fetish developed before you were borned and is genetical?

    @Parr
    My suggestion: ignore garbage advise from people who take it out of their backside and read on neuroplasticity. Practically every behavior/habit can be learned and unlearned. Sexual ones too.
     
  11. parr

    parr New Member

    hey thanks everyone for your replies, i didnt expect so many people having problems with those fetishes.
    obviously we have different stories so we have/had different reboots

    yes i mean exactly that, i am going to feel again urges or feel excited by it again?
    since my femdom tastes caused my many problem with girl in real life, i would like to completely eliminate it.

    i think you are right. even if i had various femdom thought in my adolescence, i used to love rape porn , that are quite the opposite of femdom one lol
    Femdom then replaced rape porn and i dont like it anymore.
    i would like to say that when im not excited , i was completely disgusted about them.

    before finding this site and ybop, i found a blog that said femdom fetiish was caused by low testosterone level in modern men (400ng/dl) and that in past it was higher (700 ng/dl)
    he suggest to avoid many foods: dairy products, soy and other junk foods like mcdonald
    i dont know if his theory is right but anyways if you want to have a look:
    http://cureballbusting.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-do-you-have-ballbusting-fetish.html

    good luck for our reboots again!
     
  12. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Look....I don't think that reboot itself will solve everything, as some people expect. There is also whole wiring part of it. Reboot itself is unlearning shit (use it or lose it). At some point you will start to re-wire (neurons that fire together wire together). During my last sex (in March) I had practically zero interest in anything "femdom". Normal stuff got me so excited that I was fucking levitating. After few weeks of being clean and one joint for fucks sake;) I didn't know this site and didn't know nothing about chaser effect, blueballs, flatline - you name it. So I succumbed being on the verge of total success. Like an idiot. Live and learn. The plan is to not let it happen again and so far it goes well. So answer is YES. Anything you want - you can get from this 1.4kg of jelly you have in your skull.

    And don't take my word on it. Anybody's word. Read on neuroplasticity. Check for example "Brain changing itself" by Norman Doidge. Check anything on yt by Michael Merzenich, Vilayanur Ramachandran
     
  13. Forgotten

    Forgotten Member

    IF your femdom fetish is caused by porn, IT CAN be removed. I did it.
    I never had any interest in femdom until the age of 21 or so. I've always considered those things disgusting and not exciting at all. But after years and years of porn, I became totally desensitized to normal porn videos, and the continuous search for novelty made me discover femdom; by the age of 21, my sexual tastes were so much screwed up that watching toilet slave femdom videos was THE ONLY way I could get an erection. You can imagine how scared and ashamed I was. I was also very confused: why my tastes had changed so much? When I found yourbrainonporn, everything made sense. I decided that I had to put an end to all that, and I succeeded in it. It took many months and it was incredibly hard. But it can be done. I already wrote a quick guide on how I did it some time ago, so I'll just give you the link to it:
    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=8809.0
    Good luck.
     
  14. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    do you suggest that IF someone's femdom fetish was caused by something else than porn that IT CAN'T be "removed"?
    If so, please tell me what is your suggestion based upon?
    Thanks in advance
     
  15. Forgotten

    Forgotten Member

    What I want to say is that if a certain fetish was induced by porn, quit watching that kind of porn (or, much better, quit watching any porn) and quit fantasizing about that fetish (this is very important, you also have stop fantasizing about it: eliminating porn alone is not enough) will make it disappear.
    I honestly do not know if a fetish not induced by porn can be eliminated or not. I think it's possible that even a femdom fetish not induced by porn can be at least weakened if you stop watching femdom porn and fantasizing about it, but I can't be completely sure about it.
     
  16. parr

    parr New Member

    Good news and bad news!
    The bad one is that i relapsed 3 times (yesterday and today), but its ok since femdom fantasy didnt excited me, i relapsed on normal pics, no nude.
    The good news is that now i feel uninterested in this fetish so i think that it was porn induced as someone suggested before.
    Obviously i know that if i countinue to O probably my fetish will come back so i just hope the chaser effect doesnt kill me :(
    Time to restart from 0 again but more motivated.
     
  17. Freddy

    Freddy New Member

    Check out the book "Fearful Symmetry: The Development and Treatment of Sadomasochism" by Jack Novick & Kerry Kelly Novick

    ..and possibly "The Psychology of Shame: Theory and Treatment of Shame-Based Syndromes" by Gershen Kaufman .. Brene Brown's work is also another great resource when discussing Shame and how we talk to ourselves .. If it was a simple matter of 'how to' we would all get it ..

    Understanding the distress it is causing you may help move you forward .. remember 'guilt' is better than 'shame' because guilt is focusing on the behavior where as 'shame' focuses on the self.. so instead of, I did something bad, it is I am bad. When it is 'I am bad' we find ourselves stuck and can't move..

    ...also "I don't want to talk about it" by Terrence Real

    ..hope this helps. take care.
     
  18. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    So good job and bad job:)
    Anyways - it might periodically come back. At least this is a case with me. But it's more rare and shorter. The thing is that I've been in the femdom thing for over 10 years and managed to get some real life experience. So 26 days is not enough for sure, but I can see that it gradually weakens by the day. It used to be close to 100% femdom thoughts, now it's 50-50 maybe and vanila is progressively taking over. I have to do specific "exercises" when something is coming closer, pushing my thoughts toward healthy outlets and pushing the fetish back. Once I am in good shape I go and try to engage in something positive and wholesome.
    Same thing happened the last time around, it's just that I subsided to "chaser" and chaser morphed back into femdom (probably I wanted it because there wasn't enough time). Either way we are talking here about days/weeks/months depending on the depth of the wiring.

    @Freddy
    I will also take a look at those books. I have a little problem ordering them from amazon as I have a flatmate and those books from amazon tend to fall out of the box sometimes when courier is pushing it through a letter box:) So I have to wait 'til he goes away for a few days to order.
    But I think my urges are very much porn induced. There of course is something that happened in the past that porn "used" to build network around so it's never too much security. Also - I want to understand this cravings better.
     
  19. Emanuel Ericsson

    Emanuel Ericsson New Member

    Yes I did! Actually I didn't, God did ;) You can read my story here:

    Hey guys,

    I want to tell my story about how Jesus saved me from my femdom fetish. First of all sorry for my bad English :)

    I am 28 years old. Like many of you I had this fetish since childhood. In my childhood I didn't have any access to internet so this fetish remained in my imagination. But when we got an internet access BOOM! Millions of femdom porns that I could enjoy. My fetish got weirder and more extreme. What is the most extreme femdom porn you have seen? I have seen them all! I don't want to mention them to enable triggers. I am telling this to show you I understand you and I'm not someone who developed this fetish by porn, I had it when I was a 5 years old child without any access to porn. I even played some soft femdom games with my childhood friends ;)

    When I was 17 years old I found the most extreme femdom porn movies and stories that messed my mental situation badly, too heavy for a 17 years old boy. I told myself I can't continue like this anymore so started to see Psychologists. One of them prescribed me medicines that made me worse. When I was using his medicines I was so angry and mentally unstable and nothing changed in my fetish. I tried everything else, consulting, meditation, forcing myself to watch normal porn. But each time I failed.

    My fetish got worse and worse until I read about internet porn effects on mind and body and I found yourbrainonporn---com. I tried to stop watching porn but it leaded me to a worse path: Edging! There were times that I would watched porn for 6 hours! (yes 6 hours of non-stop femdom porn watching) without ejaculation.

    Year ago I accepted Jesus as my savior. Jesus showed me that he doesn't want me to be a slave, he doesn't like my addiction and he has come to save me, but believe me it was still so hard. I couldn't resist femdom porns. I prayed so much, I read Bible every day I asked Jesus to save me from this fetish. Sometimes I won and I could resist it for few days or even weeks but then again...

    This got worse when I found a girlfriend and could persuade her to try it with me. We started by playing mistress / slave rules in chat. At first she was disgusted but after a while she liked it. She liked the power and influence she had one me.

    IT WAS A HELL! In one side I was happy that now I can experience my fetish with a real girl and in the other hand I was disgusted by it. I felt like a crap each time we did it in chat (We didn't find the chance to try it in real world because God saved me before that). I didn't want to be humiliated and dishonored. Also it was against of what God wanted from me. Sorry my English is not so good to describe the feeling I had but I'm sure you understand this contradiction.

    Jesus showed me that this girl should go out of my life. It was hard as hell! For 20 years I have this melting desire to be slave of a girl and now God says you must not do that! But I managed to do it. I obeyed Him and never lost my faith and kept praying and obeying God as much as I could. There were a spiritual path that takes so much time to describe but in shortly this is what I did:
    1. I prayed to God everyday
    2. I read Bible everyday
    3. I saw movies about Jesus like Passion of Christ and The Bible mini-serial, I really suggest last one to see how faith can save you.
    4. Each time I lost to Satan and femdom fetishes I backed to my heavenly father. I prayed again and asked Him for forgiveness and saving me.
    5. I obeyed God as much as could.

    And few days ago the miracle happened! I went to a femdom porn website that I visit usually. I felt I don't like them and something in me rejects them. At first I thought it's just one time thing. Same happened next days. This time I thought maybe I got an erection problem and I lost my libido. but then I visited to a normal porn website and I was excited! I ejaculated to those normal porns few times with pleasure! no force, full pleasure! I know it's still a sin to see porn but this is a great sign that I'm cured!

    From that day I have little desire to go to femdom porn website but I'm excited about normal sex. I still have temptations and Satan tries to back me, I even watched femdom porns few times but it didn't took so long and I stopped it soon and asked God for forgiveness. It's not as strong as always, very very weak desire!

    I never experienced this before! I had this fetish for 20 years and there were no time that I didn't want it. I always had excitement and energy for it. Now I feel freed, saved. I don't see myself as a slave anymore. I'm free! Jesus saved me and made me a free man.

    Guys! my friends! who everyone that this fetish has ruined your life. I was there for 20 years, to the point I was confident there is no chance and I should live with it forever. Like you, I tried anything but It didn't work. Like you, I felt like a crap anytime I ejaculated to those porns. Like you, I said to myslef thousands times that I won't watch it again but I did.

    But guys there is a good news for you: Jesus died to save you from this chain! Yes for you! Jesus loves you and wants to save you. Jesus understands you, knows your pain, knows your fetish, he doesn't judge you, he has come exactly for people like you! He says "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance". Yes, believe it: Jesus died on cross to save a guy with femdom fetish like you and me. Jesus don't see you as others, a weird guy. No! He sees you as precious as his son. YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE, YOU ARE HIS SON! Slavery and femdom fetishes are just chains that Satan has attached to you and Jesus can break them. He believes in you and If you believe in him he can save you.

    After watching thousands of femdom porn movies that tell you "you are worthless, you are slave, you are weak, no woman loves you, you have no honor and etc" you may believed those words but Jesus doesn't think same. He knows you are worthy (Worthy is the lamb), you are precious, you are strong and he truely loves you. Your enemy is not Femdom Porn. Your enemy is Satan who enslaved you with this fetish. Everyones has its own chain and this is yours. But Jesus died on cross to save all of us from our chains.

    And At the end here is my advise: Obey God and he'll move! My miracle happened after when I had to choose between my girlfriend and God. Guys, believe me it was hardest decision I made in my whole life but I obeyed God and he saved me.

    If you guys had any question I'd love to answer.
     

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