has anyone found their true self during the reboot? ..

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by forevergone, Apr 21, 2012.

  1. forevergone

    forevergone New Member

    through the 9 years looking at porn, it made me think of girls in the wrong way. ever since my last relationship 2 years ago, i started to have no respect for women and just wanted sex. ive been on and off with the reboot but im on day 2 now. but i think ive just filling depression and anxiety with porn to make me some sort of happy or feel good. now that ive got to think alot more, i want someone to care about, i dont even care about sex. i dont look at it the same even reading those pornstars stories, thats just fucking sick. They were even high or on some really fuckd up drugs making a scene, who would have thought?

    has anyone else changed their mind about sex/women?
  2. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Hi forevergone,

    I have for sure. Well, I used to care about their feelings the romance and all but not as much and when I would turn on P to MO I would think that I'd do just about anyone without caring a bit.

    You should totally write your own journal, it helps a lot when it comes to quitting PMO.
  3. kd

    kd New Member

    Same here. I had a booty call over last night, and just enjoyed cuddling with her and chatting. Pre recovery, the chatting and cuddling I'd just do to get to the end goal.

    Man, every time I write something about myself I see how jacked up I really was! I can only take solace in being thankful I caught it now versus later, although I regret ever going down this path . . .

    Also, about finding my true self: I don't know yet. I honestly don't know who or what I'm into normally (as far as sex or women). I mean, I've always admired girls' asses, even before I saw my first stolen pic from a friend's dad's nudie mag. I'm guessing I still like that. But do I naturally like all of the different sex acts? Am I seriously into chubby women? Am I into recording myself with women? BDSM? Threesomes? Will I use girls for sex without caring about them? Will I still choose to date crazy and/or emotionally damaged women? I honestly can't say since I don't know whether it's the compulsion or me talking.

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