Hard Mode 90-day clean-up Journal

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Clarkmr, Aug 30, 2018.

  1. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    Slept like a rock. Several porn dreams.

    But feeling positive — if evtremely lusty.
     
  2. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    Keep going, Clark!

    Day 4

    The extremely annoying porn flashbacks have slowly faded. No urges so far.
     
  3. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    @Clarkmr

    Today is 54 days. Good sleep, feeling positive. I think you are solid and will hit 90 strong.
     
  4. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    I honestly feel like I would fuck literally anything.
     
  5. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    I AM SO HORNY OMG
     
  6. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    But here is what’s awesome: I’m not even in the slightest bit tempted to porn. Not even a tiny bit.


    Now actual sex...

    I’m not even tempted to MO. I just want sex.
     
  7. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    On day 90 I’m going to find a partner IMMEDIATELY lol
     
  8. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Keep going bro you’ve given us all a lot of hope!!
     
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  9. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    Thanks for the support. Today was a rough one! Exhausted and overwhelmed by urges to hookup — which I didn’t.

    Gonna go cut my dick off (what?) and then sleep.

    Naw, take a bath, light some candles, and unwind with an audiobook and remember why I’m here. To NORMALIZE my sexual appetite, and to become closer to God, and to become more in-tune with my masculinity. FUCK it’s not fun tonight lol.
     
  10. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    Day 7

    One week down. I'm happy with the progress. The week was absolutely clean, no peeking or else... Onwards!
     
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  11. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Good job bro I’m right with you!
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  12. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Still here. You are close to your goal. You can, and will, do it.
     
    CJJackson likes this.
  13. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    Still going! I’m brainfogged and feel like ass but I’m still going! I had a moment where I thought about just having sex, but I’m committed to the end. I love the excercise of proving to myself that I’m in control :)
     
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  14. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    That is the biggest lesson of any reboot, that the rebooter owns themselves, that nothing else owns them.
     
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  15. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    True I realized the last two time I relapsed it was because I couldn’t stop stressing out and I caved but it’s only been twice in the last two months and I’m learning to manage the thoughts better now. Sitting with a therapist really helped.
     
  16. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

  17. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    Sure am :)

    Doing fine, just like extremely exhausted and unmotivated. But I’m doing well in terms of outlook!
     
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  18. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    2 clean weeks! I hope, I can keep the momentum going.
     
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  19. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    @Clarkmr Clark, you are 63 days in, well over 1/2 way to 90. I can't wait for you to make the big 9-0 so you can go back to your normal sexuality.

    @Pete McVries Quitting porn is usually a series of failures, until it becomes a series of victories. In the quitting phase you are no longer Pete, you must define yourself as a man quitting porn. In the morning, all day, evenings, at night, in bed before you sleep, when the urges come, and they will, remind yourself of who you are: "I am a man quitting porn." When the addiction talks to you, threatens you, compliments you, nags you, jokes with you, gets pissed at you, just remember what it is and who you are. You are a man quitting porn; don't let porn talk you back into using, because, along the journey, it will try and talk you back in.

    Much love.

    Will I AM.
     
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  20. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    I’m at 2 weeks as well we got this Pete. I’ve only had two bad days in like the past 70 and like 35 days total in the last year. We’ll beat this thing if we want it enough
     
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