H2O - journey continued into my 30's.

day 11 -
I am going haywire!! There is a desire for me to orgasm. I did peek at escort ads and a little bit of porn. The temptation is there in full force. Its become difficult for me to function now. Its weighing on my head heavily.
But...I am making a commitment to myself to not orgasm unless its with a real woman whose a non escort. This will entail me going out of my way to talk to women and risking rejection and harassment charges at my work. I know the latter is extremely unlikely. Heck I can make a harassment case against some women now. Like the girl who keeps walking by me with a giant smile on her face, back and forth multiple times a day. It makes me lose focus at work. But, she switched offices and came back one more time and my idiot self understood what she was doing much later. God i'm so stupid. But there are other girls. because of my horniness im desperate and thats a damn good thing.

Before I was satisfying my sexuality with pmo. Now, im changing my habit to seek out real women. Man, its hard but it feels good to be on the right path now.
Coming here is such a breath of fresh air!!! Its solace to me.

One last thing. I am working on approaching women not just at nightclubs and bars but in my daily day to day.

 

day 12 -
This has probably been the most "hardmode" I have ever gone. But, my "superpowers" are not as powerful as they used be when I was in my 20's. I still feel some but not a lot. I wonder if this has to do with age.

 

day 12 - still. I dont really have much of an interest in porn and I dont have that urge to orgasm much anymore. But, I would love to fuck tho!

Not feeling much superpowers. I am diverting some sexual impulses away from actuation which I am not sure is a good thing or a bad thing. Time will tell.

 

day 13 - erections are steel hard now. This is good news to me. finally a superpower I was complaining I didn't have. So, this is clearly a visible sign of progress. In my last post I didn't know whether to continue or not. Now, I know to continue.
But, I did peek extremely minutely at escort ads.

 

day 13 - God this is hard!! Im getting all these notifications of available escorts. Ahh!! But, i'm not so keen as I used to be. Its like I can combat it quick or sometimes I just don't get turned on anymore like I used to.

 

day 14 - I peeked the most tonight. And, I still want to see more. This urge to orgasm is getting out of control. But, I still maintain my sobriety. Now where I am trying to go with this is have an urge to fuck real life women, not watch porn, have more energy, be more healthy, no more hypofrontality, restore my brain chemicals, get strong erections, be more sexually aggressive be more confident, be more fearless, etc etc.

So far, I am achieving most of those goals.

 

Some ads have a cross in the top corner and then you can click "stop seeing this ad", and if I remember correctly you can choose that this doesn't interest you. You can also enter your ad setting on both google and facebook and see what they think interests you, and remove some things that could potentially trigger escort ads.

 

almost day 3 - in my hotel in vegas. Gonna go out soon to pull a woman. Not numbers but to go for the end goal. I usually shy away and be this nice guy to do that but I have to learn. 1 Friend is here and another is coming tomorrow. Should be fun weekend.

 

day 1 - 5:30am 10/29/23 sunday
came back home with no girl and bad experiences. I PMO'd.

 

I usually find it helpful not to have any expectations when I'm out, especially sex. I don't go out thinking "tonight I'm going to get laid". I just go out to have fun, whatever happens happens. I tend to have more fun then, sometimes I talk to a lot of girls and things go really well, sometimes I just end up hangout with people I love.

Hope you're doing ok anyways and that the bad experiences wasn't anything serious.