H2O - journey continued into my 30's.

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by hope2overcome, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    day 3 - in 2 hrs I make it to day 4. I can't wait. Woohoo!
     
  2. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Good seeing you back, man. Keep on doing the right stuff.
     
    hope2overcome likes this.
  3. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    day 1 - 11/23 2:55 am
    why did I do it? I dont fking know. I am worse off now because of it. Ughhh!!
     
  4. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    You didn't do the right stuff. Of course, it's always worse afterwards, and that can be a lesson for our lazy asses.
     
  5. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    relapse: day 1 - 11/26/21 10:35 pm friday night. 1:30am repeat relapse.

    Good god, I done it again. Cause: browsing escort ads and checking out exxotica expo schedule which lead to watching porn. I went all the way because it was feeling so good.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  6. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    How porn creates laziness - a theory.

    Butterfly in a cardboard effect. Thats how. Male butterflies see female butterflies on cardboard paper and think its the real deal and try to copulate. This thing not mentioned in the study is the male butterflies feel rejected frustrated and beat down on their self esteem as a result. That's at least certainly the case for humans who see pornstars through a screen or women through a screen and think they are right in front of us. An inability/reluctance to speak to her translates into rejection. Then seeing her has sex with other guys while she outwardly looks like she's having fun makes us think we are not worthy as we are not the type of guy to pull a girl like that. As a result, completely subconciously we are teaching our brain to have a rejected mentality and beating down on ourselves constantly. We are so absorbed in this rejection that we dont think we can truly move on unless we find closure but there is no closure. As a result, we become uninterested, unmotivated, lacking self-esteem, lacking confidence and that results in inaction, endless surfing, introvert like hermitage. And all this because our brains placed those girls as real girls to be talked to and woo'd and we attributed ur sexual prowess to them as if they can hear us. They cannot. They are videos. I first came to know of this phenomena when I see attractive women on the streets walking by. I thought to myself, "wow there is some guy who is behind that and she must be dating a lot, she doesn't need me, she can have many many men after her" all of which makes me feel intimidated and self negates bashing down by self esteem and confidence. I am making a huge fuss over something that is fabricated under a false premise. I have made so much assumptions that it strangled me and choked the confidence out of me. the path towards confidence is believe I have a shot and making a move when I can.

    Thus, it can be summed up that by watching women being sexually explicit our brains want t engage but the inability to do so gets translated as rejection. As a result, we let our rejection mindset demolish our confidence, social powers and drive for live aka become lazy, procrastinate.

    The solution is simple. Refrain and replace. Focus on and notice all the girls around you.

    I noticed something recently. Im an attractive guy yet when other guys who are less attractive than me are around women they have already woo'd why does the said girl focus on me but instead on the less attractive guy? Its because he woo'd her, women are attracted to guys who aren't just good looking (thats the most important trait for initial attraction but not the be all and end all) but guys who have hacked into their mental psyche. You have to talk to her and get in her head. As a result, she will think he is exciting, interesting but will consider him as a potential mate and unleash her sexuality on her. But, I wonder what if I approach her and say all the right things too? How will that work out? Would love to try.

    PS: Escort ads are so alluring and promising simply because you dont have to deal with the rejection aspects of it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2021
  7. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    day 1 - relapse 11/28/21 -2am i went on a marathon. 3pm afternoon. :(

    day1 - 11/29/21 - 3am monday. -->. 4:15pm

    what am i not doing thats getting me to relapse? Not being disciplined enough to know that the craving i felt to watch porn is not going to lead to fulfillment, it will just be a momentary visual attraction.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2021
  8. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    And boy, does that go in overdrive when you don't touchy yourselfy and the keyboardy! :p
     
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  9. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    this actually gave me a lot of hope!!! thanks man. A huge sticking point for me is that I dont feel much of a pull towards sexually wanting women around me despite being attracted to them. its definitely a mental thing, its like I feel my canteen empty and im shooting blanks. Its a bad feeling.
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  10. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    day 1 - 11:50pm 12/1/21. -->. 12/2/21. 2am. ughh!

    nice palindrome. But anyways alas, i did it once again and with very little inhibition.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2021 at 2:20 AM
  11. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Not only that, but the brain is so plastic, that I went back even to my original "taste" in women, after it has been corrupted originally.
     

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