H2O - journey continued into my 30's.

wow day 5 - yay!! Just peeked at porn. But it wasnt the bad kind and i feel not so bad.
Girl at work has me falling for her.
bachata classes then gym had me so busy i hardly got time to fap.
i also have started to limit laptop usage at night before bed.

Woo!!!

 

day 1 - 12pm 3/31/23 friday.
- I made it to a 6 day streak. And, I did it easily as a result of 3 things.
1.) Active by going to bachata class and socializing.
2.) Going to work and thinking about meeting women in real life
3.) limiting laptop usage

 

Well done on the 6 day streak H2O! That will have helped your brain rewire somewhat.

Be vigilant to not let one slip turn into two slips, three slips, four slips ...

That has happened to me in the past. I would go ages without PMO. Then I'd relapse, and then do it again within a day or two after that.

You've got to refocus and re-energise your mind for success immediately. Focus on those three things that worked for you.

If you can go on another 6+ day streak right after this 6 day streak, then you will have only PMO'd once in 12+ days, which will rewire your brain even more.

Good luck

 

day 1 - 4/10/23 - 4:40pm

relapsed. Kind of. I pmo cause i have a lot of sexual fantasies and no one to do it with. When I find someone I should easily quit porn.

The BEST NEWS OF MY LIFE was 2 weeks ago I went out with friends and i actually approached some girls. HELL YEAH!!! Its only a matter of time until I find someone.

 

day 1 - i have been relapsing a lot multiple times a day worst than my beginning days. I need this to stop.

 

Streak: 3 days Woo!!!
day 1 - relapse 4/19/23. 1:30am wednesday
There was no need to bring the laptop with me to my bed. I was doing fine and honestly after watching the porn I didnt need it at all. It provided nothing to me. Temptation and wanting to feel the excitement of the sexual pull aka sexual excitement got me badly. But thats not true sexual excitement with real women. In my bachata class and at work i get to feel true sexual excitement and so this porn stuff is just not cool. Its not valuable to my brain. Its useless. I wuld rather conserve myself.

 

day 1 -10:30pm 4/19 wednesday night

man, i change topics alot when im thinking. My mind is wandering a lot. I need to focus and be more disciplined in my mind.

 

day 1 - 4/22/23 1:07am
boredom got me.

 

day 1 - 4/24/23 12:22am
ive been relapsing alot. i need to see an escort to stop this slippery slope.

 

day 1 - 4/26/23 10:18pm
now i feel fucking drained after doing it twice. Instead of going to the gym i stayed in and watched porn for like 4 hours straight just on the dopamine high. And now after post nut clarity i realize i just wasted ALOT of time.

 

i pmo'd friday 4/29 at about 11pm for sure i just havent reset.

Thus, I am currently on day number 3. Almost day 4. I def feel the cravings.

 

day 1 - 11:46pm 5/1/23
it worked. That feeling won over and i relapsed. Back on the wagon it goes.

 

day 1 - 12:00am 5/8/23
after a 7 day streak i relapsed.

 

Congratulations on 7 days. Now try for 8 or more days. You can do it!

 

day 1 - 12:40pm 5/8/23 monday
AHHHH I do feel the down part now and just 20 seconds ago all i felt were the highs.

 

day 2 -
Yesterday I saw an escort. First of all she was way hotter than her pictures, holy moly. She was better looking than pornstars and it was so cheap also. I really hit the jackpot. But, then I couldnt O with her and that opened my eyes to how damaged I am as a result of frequent PMO. Im gonna see another one tomorrow or thursday and this time I should be able to O and from that I should have conditioned my body to O with women.

The great thing is by seeing her my confidence rose a great deal. A huge deal. The downside is obv money and fear of infection,disease. But thats almost low.

However, my confidence did not help me with bumping into the girl from work who likes me and i like her. I ran into her this morning on the way to work on the train. She looked at me and gave me attention. I didnt give her attention much. I did look at her a few times and I wanted her to know that I like her too. My biggest problem is I dont even look at women who I like even if they like me and stare at me, I do this because I dont want to be seen as a creep and also because I fear they will reject me because I am giving them attention. they will feel validated and no longer look at me. Thats obv erroneous. So today I practiced looking at girls i liked and withstanding the pressure looking away. I want to signal I like her and I want to approach her.

So, thankfully I practiced that and we got to looking at each other but i still chickened out too much. I need to signal to her I like her and then I need to approach her. By making the approach it will become natural. Often times I dont approach because it feels contrived.

 

5/13/23 saturday
day 1 -
finally made 2 approaches on girls yesterday night. Finally. Went to a strip club and had a wholesome convo with a stripper. I got her number and ill reach out.

But today i was stuck on my bed watching a lot of porn lying to myself that i wont pmo. It was inevitable. I relapsed and now I feel like shit. PMO is so bad, so so bad.

 

5/15/23 monday 12am- midnight
day 1 - Oh man why did I do this?? I just showed no discipline at all.

 

5/19/23. 12:16am midnight friday
day1 - now i regret it. Before nothing could have stopped me. I let the sexual tension of my laptop build.

 

day 6 - almost day 7

I guess I did go a whole week. Theres 3 girls I like who really like me at work. 1.) A 2.)H and 3.)l

A walks by my desk and looks for me and smiles. Today some other guy sat at my desk and while she walked by she literally looked for me and I caught her and she smiled at me. As she walked by I looked at her body and I was like "WOW!" Damn!. But, im apprehensive about talking to her. why? idk tbh. It just doesnt feel right and thats because im not used to doing it. I think I have to take the pressure off and be bold and make casual confident conversation.

H and I we usually look at each other. Yesterday as she was walking out I made a BOLD move and I caught her look and held gaze. She freaked out and looked elsewhere but she was entertained and turned on by it. She walked all the way to my side of the cafeteria and sat near me but i was talking with my friend/coworker. On the way to her seat and after she was done she gave me 2 big bold seductive stares. OMG! I caught both and it highlighted to me how HOT she really is. Wow! She has like purple hair also. So fucking hot. Like 2 weeks ago we both took the train together and on the way out she pretended to go the wrong way so she acted aloof purposefully. Ofc she knows how tog et to the office shes worked here over a year taking the same route. She only did that right in front of me knowing i was behind her. This acting aloof thing is a seductive tactice.....and frankly it worked. I received it but i got shy and nervous so I walked fast to the office. UGGGg!!!! FAuck man! I just have to do it. Like I did in the weekends. Im 33!!! for FUCKS SAKe!!


L. Shes been attracted to me for a long time. She has big tits and a nice ass. Shes 1 yr older. She has a nice looking face also. She sometimes cant control herself around me. She blushes rosy cheeks. I just stalked her ig right now but I cant seem to make convo with her. This is fucking stupid.

Something is wrong with me. My inability to talk to women is sad. I always get scared they will reject me and think thats the worse thing that can happen.