Grow some BALLS: The Rise of Man Manningston

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Apeman, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    Like a boss
  2. aloopinfiasco

    aloopinfiasco New Member

    YES APEMAN, you ignite a fire in me man, love your recent use of the "why do we fall" batman clip too! aha. Keep on doing what you do!
  3. Cozmo

    Cozmo Member

    Hello apeman, i apprecaite your pass by.

    and i would like to gift you an image...hope it helps
  4. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    @Cozmo Thanks, Cozmo! But where's the image?! :eek:

    @aloopinfiasco I'm glad to see you're giving the Early-Riser lifestyle a try! I've been blown away at how dramatically it has affected my life already. It's tough, and I'm still doing my damndest to cement it into habit, but I'm gonna keep at it.

    @Sound fx Thanks, Sound! I definitely felt like a bauce.

    Day 7: Alien Hand Syndrome

    Well, this initial week has seen me working to make a habit out of rising before dawn. It has proven tremendously powerful at launching me into productive, purpose-driven days, and those are the kind of days when being a Fapstronaut is (fairly) easy.

    But last night I was up later than I like, and rising before dawn today was painful. I meditated as the sun rose, but it took everything I had to keep from dozing off as I sat. Ultimately, I gave in, returning to bed to get some more shuteye.

    When I woke at 11, I reverted back to a lazier pattern: redditing over breakfast. And though I wasn't looking at anything remotely sexy, I kept catching my left hand giving my junk a deep-tissue massage. It was really weird. My attention would drift, and suddenly I'd notice I was manhandling my manhandle. Zero conscious decision to do this. And it kept happening. Each time, I'd pry lefty off and put him on top of the table, only to find it happening again a minute later. It was freaky. Never has this image been more appropriate:


    Soon, I came across this video, which altered the trajectory of my day.

    I asked myself, "If I were to act 'as if' I was a badass, fully-rebooted Fapstronaut, what would that mean?"

    I decided it meant hitting the gym. So I did. I decided it meant reading non-fiction, so I picked up a book on George Washington, the "marble man" of the American pantheon, renowned for his self-restraint. I decided it meant taking a cold shower after an intense run. Lastly, I decided it meant continuing my quest to learn to code at a professional level. All these things, I did. Now the day is drawing to a close, and I certainly feel like a badass Fapstronaut.

  5. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Lord of the GIFS and memes!

    Doing great man, love to see you back writing regularly :)
  6. Mr J

    Mr J Guest

    That "As if" video has just been like a lightbulb going off in my head. Thank you so much!

    Badass successful fapstronaut you are! (Just realised I sound like Yoda lol)
  7. Cozmo

    Cozmo Member

  8. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Whoa. That pic wrinkled my brain a little, Coz. I'm gonna have to adopt my Rafiki posture and think on that awhile... Thanks.

    @Mr J. Glad it helped you too! It seems a good way of bringing the kind of changes we want to make into the present.

    @fugu I have to credit you, fugu, for bringing me out of retirement!

    The Fuck-It Effect

    I relapsed. It was my own damn fault (could it be anyone else's?). Just got triggered on reddit and folded like a cheap suit.

    And I realized something. Tomorrow night marks 2 years since I saw Gary Wilson's TED talk, "The Great Porn Experiment." I imagine it's why a lot of us are here.

    I've been quitting porn for 2 years. In that time, one thing has remained constant: I never relapse just once. I relapse in groups, getting stuck in the loop of "ehh, I'll start tomorrow."

    I call it the Fuck-It effect. I relapse once, and can't help but say "Fuck it," and go on some kind of binge.

    Now, I have an historic opportunity to defy the Fuck-It effect. If I can make this single, stupid relapse remain a single relapse, I'll be doing something I've never done. Clear opportunity for growth.

    Tomorrow I'll wake at dawn. Fapstronautic business as usual.

  9. TheNewBorn

    TheNewBorn Guest

    See? positive signs wherever you want to see them :) I agree with you, if you start eliminating group relapses you already make a terrific progress. Being free from porn is different than just abstaining, it just means you don't let it ruin your life!

    Stay strong, and reach the moon of fapstronauts!!
  10. iHaveSeenEvil

    iHaveSeenEvil Do it for her, the mother of my children.

    You always have the best mindset and attitude about everything =)
    Keep it up, friend.
  11. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    @iHaveSeenEvil Thanks! I try to always keep in mind that, no matter how bad the situation, there's always a good move that you can make. It keeps me focused on what I can do, instead of what's already done and beyond my control.

    @TheNewBorn You make a really great point, TNB. The difference between an addict and a non-addict is that the addict is completely ruined by any exposure to his substance of choice. He can't control his consumption. An alcoholic doesn't want a drink, he wants TEN drinks.

    If we can reach a point where exposure to porn doesn't send us into a tailspin of binging, then we truly have emerged from addiction. As you said, there's a difference between abstinence and recovery.

    Getting High

    Over the last few days, I've held good on my commitment to isolate my relapse. It seems to have given me an unexpected boost. Yesterday, I noticed a distinct euphoric feeling, a "high," every time I talked to one of my female co-workers. This surge of positive feeling had me seeking out opportunities to stop and chat with her. For the record, this behavior is the polar opposite of my usually introverted habits.

    The day before, another girl I work with told me there was something different about me.

    "Is it your hair?" she said, then shook her head. "No, that's not it.... I think it's something about your energy. You've usually got this, I dunno, this calm vibe... but now, it's like when you're on stage performing. You seem a lot more like that." She flashed a smile. "It's sexy."

    I think my ego ruptured.

    Bonus Anti-Relapse Tactic!

    Last night I got home drunk. It was late, and I was alone. Classic formula for relapse. Sure enough, my addict's brain offered up "just one thing" that I could check out, just for the hell of it.

    I've played this game and fallen for this trap too many times to be fooled, but the temptation was still there, and it was compelling. Usually I get caught up in imagining the pleasure I'll get from searching that "just one thing," and I torture myself with these thoughts until I fold.

    But last night I took a different tack. I imagined the pleasure I'd get by resisting. I imagined waking up the next morning knowing that I hadn't even wavered in my Fapstronautic quest.

    Today I woke up, then I remembered I had not even wavered the night before. And it was pleasurable indeed.

    TL;DR: When tested, imagine the pleasure of waking up the next morning with a clean conscience.
  12. BreakingtheHabit

    BreakingtheHabit New Member

    Great post Apeman, I too notice the change in my "energy" in the process and take comfort in how good it can feel to resist rather than cave in to urges. Rock on!
  13. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Human Beings

    A day off lounging at home is typically a dangerous time to be a Fapstronaut. Luckily, I had the support of fugu and Jeff.

    Keep an eye on fugu's journal for a groundbreaking Fapstronautic project...
  14. Mr J

    Mr J Guest

    What do you like to do at home to stay entertained/stave off boredom?

    I find that if I'm bored for too long, then cravings weave their way in to the picture.
  15. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Let the record show that I'm in the danger zone. If I'm relapse-free tomorrow, I'll be super happy.

    So I'm focusing on that super happiness.

    I like to get extravagantly stoned and play the guitar. If I feel like I'm particularly at risk, I find a spot outside and meditate until I'm feeling back in control.
  16. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    I'm surprised you are able to control yourself when under the influence. I find it very hard to do so especially with alcohol.
  17. Original Jeff

    Original Jeff Don't settle for a quick-fix; unravel the layers.

    Same, both alcohol and weed are recipes for relapse for me so I try to avoid them as best I can.
  18. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    @Jeff and BruceWayne You guys make a great point. My Fapstronautic quest is only made more difficult by alcohol. My lifestyle is changing...


    Day <10: P***y

    I had to get out of the house, or I'd relapse. I ditched my phone and headed to my favorite bar to knock back whiskey.

    Looking down the bar, my attention settled on a couple. Super-cute girl, well-dressed dude. Something about their attitude screamed "first date, maybe second." I zoned out, caught in her beauty as the whiskey seeped into my brain.

    I noticed my inner monologue making promises to this girl, this stranger. I'd give up drinking. I'd start running, eating right, and pushing my time in the gym to the next level. I'd put together a killer set for my summer gigs. I'd do it all, and be glad to do it, just to get closer to a girl like that.

    Suddenly, I could feel so many disparate aspects of my life all bending in unison toward the goal of being a sexy beast. Toward the goal of getting closer to a girl like that.

    Now, maybe the pursuit of pussy isn't the loftiest of goals (though it's perhaps the most ancient), but I was struck as if by divine inspiration. I poured out the remainder of my glass. I'll be dry until the Telluride Bluegrass Festival begins on June 18.
  19. TheNewBorn

    TheNewBorn Guest

    Nice comics :D It's all true, you shouldn't spend time doing things you don't like just because you're supposed to, or because otherwise you will end up without money. Nonsense, money is not the aim of anybody's life. Things are only things, nobody should dream a new computer, a refrigerator, or whatever. Nobody should think, i get rich, i'll have thousands of women. Often we focus our efforts in order to get something we don't need and, if it doesn't make us more miserable, it cannot fill us. We keep searching and requesting more and more, until we are but empty shells that cannot be really filled again.

    Look for beauty and love, look for the marvels of nature and for solid friendships, explore this amazing world we live in, meet strangers, take chances, write poems, write stories, read :) That's what life is about, not holding on until next glass, right? Good luck with stopping drinking, i hope you succeed and be fulfilled in the life that awaits you :D
  20. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Need something educational to listen to while you're brushing your teeth?

    Do you yearn for the hard-won wisdom of veteran fapstronauts on your daily commute?

    Want to know what fugu sounds like?

    Yearn no more! Feast your ears upon
    Disclaimer: We do say "fuck" and talk about sex and stuff. Listener discretion is advised.

    With your hosts:

    FUGU The Man with the 1.5 Year Streak

    JEFF Gladiator Champion and Peaceful Warrior Extraordinaire

    APEMAN A Man Painted Silver who makes Robot Noises, but not on the show!

    Thanks, TNB! I agree, and I think it's the larger benefit of taking on this challenge: we either get back into life, or we can't help but relapse.

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