Got Off With Girl First Time Ever - Age 34 - Groin Pain Healed

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Foxhunter, May 26, 2019.

  1. Foxhunter

    Foxhunter Deflect & Parry

    I have finally found success.

    The great enemy is defeated and on the run...

    It has been a long time since I posted here and this post is about 3 months overdue, but wanted to come back and complete my story in case it helps even one man out there.

    You can find my previous writings here. (hopefully this link to my threads works for others, I got it from my profile)

    TLDR History
    • Tons of porn since about 14. Dial up into high speed.
    • Unable to perform with any real life girl, even very attractive girls. No erection whatsoever.
    • Lucky to be tall with good looks. Had plenty of opportunities with 8s and 9s, but could never get it up
    • In 2015, developed debilitating and absolutely soul crushing groin pain from over-masturbation
    Porn is clearly a problem, even though most people may not know it. My body and mind were and still are completed wired to porn. Real women are not capable of turning me on like porn, though I find real women incredibly attractive.

    For years I blew so many opportunities. My mind started to decay into a form of madness because of it. Almost felt like a eunuch.

    In 2015, at the lowest point in my addiction phase, I simply could not stop masturbating. It was a pathetic time and even with pain lingering and my body giving in, I kept pushing it.

    This lead to a groin pain that remained FOREVER.

    The mystery and torture of this is unexplainable, and would end the average man.

    Two doctors and three urologists could not determine the issue. I had a cystoscopy, hopefully you never have to experience this. Found nothing.

    This put me in a place where not only was I incapable of a satisfying sexual experience, I now lived with constant pain, about a 3 on a scale of 1-10. Might not seem too bad, but when it never goes away and gets worse when sleeping, it's absolute hell.

    Last resort was a physical therapist (should have been the first move). She figured it out rather quickly as male pelvic pain from pelvic floor dysfunction. Unbelievably, I was able to get about 80% better within just one week of exercises.

    There are many threads on the forum describing issues with pelvic floor and I can confirm it can be a major issue especially if you masturbate sitting down at a computer like I did edging constantly.

    For me, edging is the enemy. The constant muscle contractions ended up affecting me harshly.

    Over the past year, I have gotten much better with abstaining from both porn and masturbation, with the occasional slip up, but can easily go 2-3 weeks monk mode if need be.

    I could feel libido coming back slightly and gained more confidence about being able to perform.

    In 2014, there was a very attractive girl I failed with. She was and still is a model and it was so awful not being able to perform. I had trouble getting the failures out of my head.

    In 2018 I reconnected with her. We dated for awhile and I had a lot of performance anxiety.

    In March of 2019, it finally happened...

    I got off to a girl during real sexual activity, at age 34.

    So many years wasted...

    The monkey off my back was an amazing feeling.

    I took a 5 mg Cialis to keep myself in prime position but also had more confidence due to not being drained from constant masturbation.


    I want to list a couple ways I succeeded:

    • In my experience, monk mode is the way to be, as long a possible. Underdog's post about removing all sexual stimuli from your life is a very important step
    • Realize - if you are jerking off to porn, it's like the least alpha male activity possible. I am really sitting there jerking off to some other guy getting the girl? This realization hit me hard because if you think about it, it's so pathetic
    • If you gotta do it, make it extremely quick. Less than 5 minutes. Minimize all stimulation of the brain. We all fail here and there. DO NOT go hard on yourself.
    • Find a way to get some Cialis or Viagra. Sure it's a crutch but having that extra boost helped me big time. I may not even need it now.
    • Do not edge. It's very pleasurable but so must the heroin needle be.
    • Groin pain, if pelvic floor, CAN BE SOLVED! DO NOT GIVE UP!
    • When with a girl. JUST GO FOR IT. You may not get another chance...
    • Using a fleshlight helped me IMMENSELY. It trained me to use my hips etc. instead of my hands to stimulate myself as if I was with a girl. I was skeptical, but this gave me A LOT of confidence because it was essentially practicing for the real deal. I set it up so it was sticking out of the corner of a couch as if I was hitting a girl from behind. Yeah is this ridiculous? Of course, but you gotta do what you gotta do...
    I want to thank all the guys I used to talk to on this forum, especially ThouShallNotPorn. Having a confidant and someone to talk to really helped. We still talk on Skype and even met up in person despite being world's apart.

    Below I want to put a list of keywords that might help someone looking to solve their seemingly incurable groin pain. I could not find an answer when searching the forums or Google so maybe by doing this it will help someone find hope and most importantly a resolution!

    Guys - YOU CAN DO IT.



    I succeeded. You can too.

    Until next time, or maybe never again....


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  2. Universal

    Universal Active Member Staff Member

    Man, I can't believe no one has responded to this. Great success story, thanks for sharing.

    Could you please go into more detail of how you fixed your pelvic floor 80% that week? What are we talking, kegels, reverse kegels (and to what ratio?) How many times per day etc. Do you think this training helped with EQ and any delayed or premature issues?

    Would be awesome to hear an update of how things are 1 month later.

  3. Doper

    Doper Active Member

    Universal - If one has a hypertonic pelvic floor you DO NOT want to be doing ANY kegels. As kegeling is very probably what created the problem in the first place (flexing the PC muscle for long periods during edging or trying to keep a fuller erection). Reverse kegels only, and stretches, and if one is having bad problems internal myofascial release.

    Glad things worked out for you Foxhunter.
  4. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Member

    You took viagra and stuff and you declare yourself cured or simply succeeded on this occasion?

    If it's the later, then it's a shame. I'm not so sure the former is convincing enough.
  5. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Do you have any sources for this, Foxhunter? I have found finding reliable information on an effective solution to PE a real trouble. However, from my research so far, those who have reported some success have attributed it to doing reverse kegals. A muscle imbalance caused by edging is a theory I have heard of before that does sound plausible and its one that I am experimenting with myself by doing a reverse kegal routine. What kind of stretches would you recommend? Also how would you go about practising a Myofascial release?
  6. Doper

    Doper Active Member

    It's not edging per se, but I'm sure many, like myself, constantly flex their PC muscle while they edge or jerk off or have sex, for multiple reasons, 1. it just feels good because flexing PC muscle stimulates prostate, 2. we all have shitty erections 'round here from too much porn, so flexing PC to keep solid erection. It's pretty basic, flexing PC muscle is a kegel, we are all doing too much of that, and have tight overdeveloped PC, causing PE and in worse cases chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS, also known as chronic prostatitis). So to balance it out do reverse kegels. This is paramount IMO for fixing PE. And when you have an erection hold reverse kegels. For stretches get into squat position and just sit there and stretch adductors, glutes, piriformis etc....Unless you have CPPS, I wouldn't bother with myofascial release, if one does then get the book Headache in the Pelvis, and join (I'm not affiliated)
  7. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Sorry Doper, I had meant to write your name instead of Foxhunter's in my original post. Thanks for the information. I'm definitely aware of my BC muscle chronically contracting whenever I get sexually aroused. It seems to happen whenever a stray sexual thought enters my head, so I think this theory could apply to me. I am working a reverse kegal programme into my daily routine at the moment, but its too early to tell whether they are making a difference. I never like to masturbate if I can avoid it, as it puts me in the danger zone of relapse, but I would like to think when the time comes that I can perform adequately with a woman I love. When you describe stretches, would certain yoga postures help stretch those same muscle groups, or is there a particular exercise that you are describing? Many thanks for your help
  8. Foxhunter

    Foxhunter Deflect & Parry

    I succeeded for the first time ever in getting off to a girl. To me, this is a success story. Previously I could not get an erection at all to have real sex, for years. I had opportunities with a lot of beautiful women and could not get it up, ever, not knowing what the issue was until I discovered this forum and Gary's famous Ted talk.

    For anyone wondering, the main exercise that helped immensely with the groin pain was a simple breathing exercise.

    Simply lay on your back, and focus on something called "buddha breathing." The idea is to breathe in as far as you can, BUT make sure you're pushing all of the air into your "belly" so that the top of your chest is not expanding, but only your entire lower half. This seems to push on your pelvic floor and I could immediately feel relief from doing this.

    I also did it while sitting in a hot bath - very relaxing and breathing in and out was easy just laying there.

    Another step I took which not everyone may have to is the infamous "therawand."

    My physical therapist found trigger points while searching around in there (yes, from the rear). I'm talking crazy pain from just a light push on the edges on the inside. I could immediately feel the pain radiating up into my pelvis. This was a breakthrough, because three urologists found nothing while searching around in there.

    The therapist told me to buy the therawand which is a device to "self message." Basically when you get good with it, you manually massage and release trigger points yourself. It's awkward and god help you if someone walks in on you and you are trying to explain it!

    So I do recommend the breathing exercise for sure - this got me to like 80%. The wand, abstaining from PMO especially edging, and using a fleshlight instead of my hand all contributed to massive improvements in what was an absolutely hellish three years of my life.

    Then finally getting off to a hot girl was an ultimate success in my life.

    Fuck porn.
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2019
  9. Foxhunter

    Foxhunter Deflect & Parry

    Even in the deepest years of PMO, I somehow never had issues with morning wood. I have always had raging wood in the morning, which is both good and bad. Bad because it makes you want to PMO first thing when you wake up.

    I unfortunately have not had much real sexual contact in the last few months, so I tend to slip a little back into PMO or just MO. Libido is pretty good, can't really say on ED as I have not had a recent encounter, though I think I would be able to perform.

    Pain has come back a little bit too, but that's because I have had a few days in a row of too much PMO here and there which unfortunately brings it back a bit.

    The breathing stuff I described above though worked extremely well for removing pain.

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