Goodbye Masturbation, Its been fun, But lets remain frenemies...

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Demon_In_Me, Oct 21, 2012.

  1. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Hey friend! Just dropping by to offer some support. Keep going forward!
  2. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    2 wet dreams so far! no change in mood or libido.
    30 days in sight..
  3. bikeguy

    bikeguy Member

    You haven't been here in a while man. How far along are you?
  4. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Yeh I went off for a while, had difficulties with depression that sought me to seek resolution elsewhere. Relapsed into porn for a while but never went back to the chronic habit I once had. In fact I limited myself to masturbation 3 times a week on average but still feel my sex drive should be a lot better than where it is now, too many weak erections and misfiring libido.

    Eating more healthy and meditating has practically eased my depression symptoms and I would consider myself to be in remission atm. Using orgasm abstinence along with my other natural wellness techniques I can only get better, I've found a way to upkeep my well being but won't settle until I find my true self once more.

    Hope you guys are still fighting the good fight, there is never a right or wrong way as long as we commit ourselves and learn from experience to strive for the best. And I want nothing less...
  5. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Hey man! Glad you stopped by my journal. Hope everything is going well for you! Your mind set seems really positive. You always write with the thoughtfulness and commitment of someone who is going to take the reboot all the way home to the finish line.
  6. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Day 46

    I'm steaming through the weeks now. In my first reboot I was evaluating my progress daily focusing on any sign or difference in mood. This time around i have transformed other areas of my life and have a regime healthy enough to rival fitness instructors.

    Libido is not around atm, but that's ok. I'm not worried about it as I know it will return, with interest. The time I have now is used much more productively. My goal is maintaining a strong mindset by supporting neuroplasticity in various methods all combined to help heal my broken brain. Meditation, exercise, sleeping properly and diet control. Especially cutting out refined-sugar as much as possible. I'm learning more and more how what we put inside ourselves can have a massive impact on our mental wellbeing and how junk food is just as much an addiction as porn and drugs for that matter. This awareness of course comes at a price, commitment is profoundly tested.

    Life for me is stable again. Stable will do for now. I've had a glimpse at the life I want and my sense of purpose has re-ignited once more. Porn abstinence is just the beginning. What porn use has been emotionally blunting in me all this time has surfaced, its taken a long time to come to terms with, but I think I'm finally getting somewhere.

    ''I can resist anything in life except temptation''
    - Oscar Wilde
  7. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Back To Zero,

    Relapsed twice this morning. Actually felt horny whilst fantasizing during meditation lol. Can hit you when you least expect it. 56 days in all isn't a bad effort. I don't feel down about it. Just start again and somewhere along the line healing will take place. Positivity from this relapse is something I've never really had but this time I actually feel ok. Here's to another attempt at kicking the porn habit, the next week will be crucial to see whether I can resist the temptation of the chaser effect!!
  8. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Looks like the chaser effect got me this week, 6-7 relapses in all. Not to worry, Sundays are a good day of the week to start a streak from anyway i find. Makes it look better on the calener, we all have our superstitions and habits..

    I know full well I can perform with a woman now, being able to abstain forever is not in my plan, It just makes sex feel so much better when it happens!
  9. HyperhumanSonic

    HyperhumanSonic Bruce Lee fan.

    How's your rebooting going? I was doing good for a long time but I ended up going back to my old ways. So I'm back here again. This time I'm going to beat this for good.
  10. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Hey HyperhumanSonic,

    Good to hear from you. Yes I also reverted to porn use for a while. Never chronically abused myself multiple times a day, sometimes it was as often as twice a week so that is a positive to take from this.

    We have to be realistic with ourselves. We are fighting a tough addiction my friend. So accessible is porn it only takes a lapse in concentration to fall, especially when you feel your sex drive return and all that is on your mind is sex. So deeply rooted are the pathways that drive you crazy when you think of sex, the willpower we need is immense.

    I've learnt to stop being so hard on myself when I do relapse, it is almost inevitable. it is not the sole cause of all our problems and the fact we are aware of this recovery program only enriches us more. Just keep remembering that each day away from porn is a victory, however small it is. Focus on an all round approach at enhancing your life through other natural and healthy means and before you know it time has flown by and the urges have ceased. (At least until your libido returns that is!)

    I think the problem I have Is not accumulating a streak, its finding a partner to rewire too when I've rebooted. Not had a gf in over 2 years now, I keep saying when I'm ready I'll go for it. Maybe i've been going for the wrong approach....?

    Good luck to you and I hope this truly is the big reboot for you. My record is 108 days no PMO. Doubt I'll go that long ever again but I'll give it one hell of a try.
  11. Demon_In_Me

    Demon_In_Me New Member

    Wow, coming up on my previous best of 108 days! Never thought I'd be able to achieve anywhere near that record again.

    Its been a predominantly flat-line occupied abstinence this time around. Had an intense return of libido around days 62-70 where I was throbbing with sexual energy. Tbh I was glad when it abated. Although It is disconcerting to be this far in and not have a full on libido yet I can't help but feel that this is necessary to experience to give my brain the rest it deserves. My mood and depression which was more of a concern in my life has stabalized significantly, and to have mental normalcy again makes this journey a hell of a lot more bearable, and actually quite exciting!

    Started drinking again after 105 days complete abstinence, being especially cautious in how much I consume to not hinder any progress.

    Intermittent fasting supported with an uber-clean diet has provided interesting results in mental clarity and all round general health.

    Sleep is well calibrated again, no more interruptions associated with insomnia and getting 7-8 hours per night.

    Exercising 4-5 days a week, resistance and cardio training combination keeping me in the best physical condition of my life, hitting the gym with a morning regime before work is actually proving addictive..

    Meditating daily for 20+ mins really has aided my negative thinking and curbed anxiety better than any other modality I've tried, really has embedded a heightened sense of awareness into my perspective.

    I'm so glad to be coming up on 108 days but I know this time around I will continue far beyond that, I have too strong a motivation and acquired an impeccable coping system and temperament which will see me succeed no matter what, I don't even look upon failure with the same definition any more, it doesn't have a place in my repertoire. I'm aware more rewiring needs to be done but I won't rush into anything just to speed up the recovery, I listen to my body with the upmost respect and attention and when its time I'll put the effort in, just as when it isn't, slow things down again and recuperate.

    Glad to see other members on this forum are doing well and seeing improvements in other areas of their lives, good luck guys, and keep pushing through!
  12. Original Jeff

    Original Jeff Don't settle for a quick-fix; unravel the layers.

    Hey Demon,

    You still around? Sounds like you were doing well when you last posted!

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