That was a bit of a relief! She was only interested in friendship, and in any case wasn't my type, so no trauma there. One good thing came out of it: the bar was heaving with top totty in short skirts and heels, which would have ordinarily sent me into fantasy overdrive and had me hoofing it home for a serious fapathon, but I'm ok. No desire to do that all! However, recovery far from complete in that I also had no real desire to engage with anyone so no signs as yet of the libido returning, though I have allowed myself to admire the female form again, whilst consciously resisting fetishising it. Just wish I could boot the process on a couple of months!
Into day 9 and slightly hungover which always used to be an excuse to fap. Not today though! Raining again here, but I have the cricket and golf to look forward to. And a friend is coming over this evening so that should keep me out of mischief. Then it's another weekend to get through..
Fuck it's tricky today. First time I've actively had to resist going on Xhamster. It hasn't helped that I have a couple of women texting me with sexual intent.. Thank God for this place - and cold showers..
It's going to get harder, man. You have to drill it in your head that the deeper you go through this thing the more it's not worth it to go to sites like those. I'm on Day 24 and my worst nightmare is wiping out all the progress I've made by not only visiting xhamster but going through all the videos I've missed out while I'm on here.
Today has been soooo hard. I think I'm over the worst, though. Wasn't really helped by having a sexy convo on MSN that got me a serious boner, but I ignored it, pretty much. The temptation to crack one off was there, as was the desire to have an Xhamster sesh, but I resisted. Got a bit of a dull ache in my nads for my pains, but.
Day 10 and a decent wood this morning - didn't last long, though. Still, glad to have got through yesterday!
Easier today - thank fuck I didn't crumble yesterday. That was definitely a sharp reminder that I can't be complacent about this..
That's hot 2 weeks done. And a hot date coming up on Thursday. Things are starting to look er.... up! Keep at it boys.
My new girlfriend's just gone home after the most amazing evening. I was really worried I wouldn't be up to it, but the old boy responded like it hasn't done since I can remember. Her touch was amazing. It did go down a few times, but just whilst we had a break and not during the crucial bits. I'm on top of the world! Didn't come though - I'm all too aware of the backlash reported by some of you on here so I'm going to save that for a bit. I don't want that whatever it's called effect to kick in and drive me back to porn. This shit really does work, and I'm only into my 3rd week. I'm thinking if I keep at it I'll be Sidney Studd after a few months. Porn can get to fuck: it's really not worth it.
Well, I didn't take my own advice. Got to 3 weeks and a big relapse. I'm gutted, but no point in beating myself up about it. I've started again and I won't be overconfident this time - I know it's just waiting to bite my arse now.
Hey Sergio, don't worry about the relapse. Most of us here have reset our counters several times. It's part of the process. You proved you can do it for 3 weeks. Now try again. You're going to fail a number of times and it doesn't matter how many. Having a flawless attempt and failing 10 times on the way doesn't make a difference as long as you manage to recover at the end. Just keep trying. You didn't know how to walk the second after you were born. You started to crawling, then tried to stand up and fell a million times trying and now you don't even think about it. Maybe it will help telling us what you learned from this. What triggered your relapse? How can you avoid it next time? Also, I know you said you don't like blocking software but it might help. I don't know. I know for sure that you don't relapse when you type xhamster and get blocked. This might not stop you completely but it'll give you a few more minutes to think about what you're about to do. To remind you of the part of yourself and the way you were thinking when you set up the blocker. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes not. I recommend setting up OpenDNS's FamilyShield. It's free, super-easy to setup and you don't install any kind of software. Here are the directions: https://store.opendns.com/familyshield/setup/ Let us know how you're doing.
Thanks, Ash! I'm not doing too well - the relapse was bad and I couldn't even face coming back on here because I knew I'd have to face my failure. I've just had a brief affair and was unable to help crumbling a few days after sex when I couldn't see her again. Anyway, that's all over now and I'm building my resolve. I'm going to cut out drinking and smoking (another relapse - I hadn't done the former for 6 months and the latter for a couple of years) and take the general idea on here that being healthy is going to help my mental state and sense of well-being. And I've installed the blocker you recommended, so we'll see how we go with that. Your words of encouragement and advice are very much appreciated. Thanks again.
