Giving advice on pmo, (long post)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by htcuser, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. htcuser

    htcuser New Member

    Hello everyone,

    Here are some personal experiences and advice i would like too give you guys,

    Backstory, I was the typically guy used to watch porn before sleep everyday for up too 2 hours, starting at around age 15, while escalating into more demanding and graphic material to get myself off, so i knew it was time for a change. I started my proper no-porn experience about 45 days ago and went about it by documenting every day too show my improvements and such, also i read, watched all links on YBOP and read various articles.

    As its said before you cannot succeed without failure so i embraced the times i PMO'd, (i do not call i a relapse will explain later on).

    Learn from them how they made you feel afterwards. I suggest creating a notepad starting from day 1 writing, how you felt the day you woke up how you improved from the last day and so forth, this allows you to see all your improvements and clearly show how close you are to reaching you goals. Set mile stones, e.g. 3 days, 1 week, write down why you are doing no-porn, e.g. stop feeling lonely, depressed, bored. start having feelings for women again. Write down as many as you want, come back to these in times of needs. You all will eventually become better and reach them, 100%.


    Onto to discussion at hand,

    PMO

    I constantly saw people on here discussing "oh i PMO'd i might as well binge, am i back too day 1, etc" Now my personal experience is that if you do PMO do not let it get you down, it should actually give you an opportunity to learn. The best thing too do after you PMO is to stop viewing immediately and go do something else, personally i do not develop a chaser effect, or feel the need to binge so it is easier for me, but if you do id suggest, going back to your notepad which you should have created writing and noting all improvements, changes you have seen. This will provide you with reinsurance that you are improving and you will eventually reach your goals, do not let it affect you stay positive, stay positive, STAY POSITIVE.

    The main question asked, "am i back to day 1" now this is not straight forward as it seems, my personally idea off the back to day 1 issue is as follows. If you let a PMO affect you to the point where you're worrying so much about it resetting your days back to day you have already lost. The brain heals very quickly, so say if you do PMO one day, follow my methods, close the video continue on your day, forget that it happened, and don't beat yourself up over it so much. If your someone who is addicted to counting days (purely psychological as stated by another user), i suggest stop your counter for a couple of days and continue from there. Treat it as a learning curve, where you become stronger and more resistant. To put it in perspective, say you go 10 days straight, 240 hours, without PMO and on the 10th day, you watch a 2 minute video clip. Do you actually believe your brain could possible lose all improvements that you have developed? I AM NOT SAYING GO RELAPSE WITH PORN EVERY TIME YOUR HORNY, NO!, i'm saying if you get back on track straight away it wont hinder your improvements. If you end up binging, for like 1 week straight well your not fully equipped with knowledge and haven't set out proper goals for yourself.

    Very few people dont PMO on their journey so it is completely normal, just dont think it will lose all your progress.

    Case study

    Around my 30 day mark i experienced 3 PMOs in that time but they were not how they were previously when i was heavily addicted to porn. They went along the lines off i felt the urge too watch something, i resisted as long as i could until i gave in (i know this is wrong but here me out).

    1st experience, i watched fairly graphically genre, however i turned it on went straight too page, no browsing or searching, chose and watched a video lasted approximately 40 seconds , after i finished turned it off immediately, no binge, felt un-enjoyable.

    2nd experience, i watched less graphically genre, again 40 seconds, turned it off immediately, no binge, felt un-enjoyable, kind off turned off with the fact.

    3rd experience, sort of a impluse from memory, (had a dream the night before), same thing as the first two times less then 1 minute viewing time, and after finished straight away stopped viewing.

    Results

    After each experience, i did not feel an urge to binge, i did not develop any chaser effect, personally i feel i didn't develop these was due to the fact i resisted as long as possible but when it did occur, i just watched finished and got out. I didn't dwell on the page look for other things afterwards, i didn't seek out material before hand i just chose.

    They were all spread out over the 30 days, with around 8-12 days in between them. The content starting reducing in how graphic it was. Did not destroy all my healing up to those points, would linger for a day later but did not destroy the healing.

    Conclusion

    PMO should not be connected to the word relapse. After a PMO you should not dwell on "im back to day 1" "ive lost all progress" you should document the experience right how you felt after, look at your main goals, remember why your doing this and continue on your journey. Recovery is not linear, don't make it harder on yourself by dwelling on something you cannot change, look at the future and continue healing.

    If anyone has any questions or like to add anything please feel free. Or if you believe anything is "wrong" or "incorrect" let me know.

    Regards
     

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