Give Me Strength’s Journal: One Day at a Time

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Give Me Strength, Sep 3, 2014.

  1. madman

    madman Member

    Strength and peace!
     
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  2. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello,
    I am here today fighting some strong urges and trying to figure out triggers. Besides the triggers we all have, boredom is a big one for me. So to that point, I am deciding to come here gathering then giving in.

    I have not been here in some time... and I usually only post when I am down. I am feeling good today. BTW: as I have posted in the past, that is also a time when I fall.

    Stress level is still very high but I know that my stress, anxiety, brain fog, depression and tiredness is all PMO related. I am only 2.5 days PMO free now but feel good about that.

    I need to come here are read some of the kicks in the ass I get and deserve from some of you... that means you Saville! I really do need that at times. And thank you all for the support. I am trying to post daily in good times and bad.

    So today is a good day... PMO free but bored and looking for a fix. Screw that, I am here and then back to work.

    Peace,
    GMS
     
    Boxer17 likes this.
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Good to see you back, GMS.
    We understand where you're at, keep hanging out here a bit and keep talking about what's up in your world, bro.
     
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  4. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello,
    Feeling good today... and made it through some strong urges this AM. Really good to be back here on the forum.

    Question: do others have issues getting to this site sometimes? Like it is down or something?


    GMS
     
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  5. JohnQ

    JohnQ Active Member

    GMS,
    I’ve been reading through your journal. Be strong.
     
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  6. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Thank you 40New30 and JohnQ! Your support and encouragement means quite a bit to me!

    Feeling good today. Had a challenging day Sunday but made it through. Had some tough arguments with me wife yesterday. I have never told her about my PMO but I often wonder how much she knows.

    On day 8.5 now! Feeling really good about that and getting close to my highest ever 14 day PMO free... sad huh? 14 days over the last 40+ years most likely. This addiction sucks. I have not put a counter up because I am trying to just live clean and work on other areas of my life, family, health, career. I need to get this forum on my phone so I can easily access it.

    Thinking and praying for you all!
    GMS
     
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  7. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello Fellow Fighters,
    Day 10... trying not to count days though because from what you all say and I believe its more about becoming the best you can be... not just abstinence. Lord knows I've been alcohol sober for 27 years but my live is still crazy/unhappy/stressful... so I am working on my complete self, family, career, physical...

    Feeling good today. Came down with a cold yesterday and pumping in Vit C like crazy. I remember reading a couple journals where a side effect for PMO free was cold/sickness... not sure that is the case with me because I seem to get a cold this time of the year.

    Even fighting this cold, I do feel less tired and more alert already.

    Staying strong and fighting a good fight.


    GMS
     
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  8. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I try not to get embroiled in any of my wife's turmoil. I allow her to be right and also to be critical of me if she so chooses. Her world view has nothing to do with me getting healthy. :)
     
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  9. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    You are going in the right direction!
    I like how you said you weren't so focused on counters as you were on living clean and improving other areas of your life.
    It's been said here before that we keep quitting till we quit
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Every time I've fallen off the wagon and binged on porn and gotten back on, I have gotten a cold. Porn abuse is a major immune/endocrine system stressor, of that I have no doubt...and like all addictions, taking the poison away is an even bigger stressor (at the beginning).
     
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  11. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello To All,
    Thank you for the support, encouragement and guidance.

    Saville,
    I love your comment about not getting "embroiled in any of my wife's turmoil"... What a healthy way to look at it. I truly believe if I took/take that guidance my life would be much happier! That is something I need to work on.

    This cold still has been down and out. Quite a busy start of the week for me too.

    Peace to all,
    GMS
     
    Saville likes this.
  12. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Get well soon!
     
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  13. JohnQ

    JohnQ Active Member

    I hope you are feeling better. My cold took 2 weeks to get through.
     
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    How's it going, bro?
     
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  15. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Funny I should return here after a long absence and read this post from Saville. I need to follow this guidance.
     
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  16. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello Fellow Fighters,
    I am returning and reading through your journals... glad and encouraged to hear from you all. Some major changes in my life... all good but still addicted to PMO. Good to be back.

    GMS
     
  17. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Been awhile, GMS. Glad you're back. I look forward to more of your posts.
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Welcome back.
     
  19. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello All,
    Having an OK day today and wanted to come over and post a quick hello.

    40New30 and Saville,
    Thank you for the note!

    The areas where I feel PMO addiction and dopamine issues effect me are:
    1. Tired
    2. Irritable
    3. Anxious
    4. Brain fog/lack of memory
    5. Lack of feeling

    Everything I read tells me this will improve as I break away from my addiction. Any one have experience in how long it will take?

    Thank you,
    GMS
     
    40New30 likes this.
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Me too! Brain fog was the worst thing in the world.

    Have you had your thyroid and/or testosterone levels checked?

    I'm convinced that gut issues/low thyroid made my addiction and brain fog way worse!

    Check your morning basal temperature, before getting out of bed in the morning to test your thyroid output. If it's below 97.7 F consistently and even much lower (mine went int the 96 range a few times), you may have a problem.

    When I started taking natural desiccated thyroid my brain fog clearly up the last little way, that at vitamin b6/zinc/SAM-e. I was off porn for months and months before I started doing this stuff.

    It's worth a shot on a cheap thermometer, low thyroid is very common because of fluoride and chlorine, among other chemicals in the water, bromides, etc.

    There's a lot of good info on the interwebz about all of this. :)
     
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