Give Me Strength’s Journal: One Day at a Time

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Give Me Strength, Sep 3, 2014.

  1. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    That's true! It may be about alcohol but there are so many correlations between it and our own particular affliction... it's almost scary. :)
    Give Me Strength likes this.
  2. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    One day at a time.

    Good to have you back.
    Give Me Strength likes this.
  3. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    GMS -- I SO get that. The only way I've reached this place is like what you said:
    We don't reach our goals by setting them out and then "miraculously" reaching them. It's day by day. Hour by hour. Moment by moment. Celebrate the MOMENTS if you need to. But celebrate every time you don't turn to PMO.

    I am here for you, brother. Day by day.
    Give Me Strength and Billy B. like this.
  4. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello Fellow Fighters,
    I am going back and rereading some of my posts and came across this post from when I first started this fight. I am determined to work this plan.

    Thank you for your continued support,
    Billy B. likes this.
  5. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello Fellow Fighters,
    Thinking and praying for each of you and I ask for your prayers as well. Today is a new beginning.

    I will be strong and stay clean from PMO today.

  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    When you fall down, immediately get back up. That's all you can do..don't wallow.
  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Good best of luck to you, Brother.
  8. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello Fellow Fighters,
    I am here today trying to go at it again.

    So first, thinking and praying for you all... I am catching up on your journals and will post to you individually once I am feeling better and/or feel I can add value in addition to my encouragement and prayers.

    Second, I am trying to new or renewed approach. I have set porn blockers on my devices a while ago but I need more. And what I hope to do is work on other areas of my live while fighting my PMO addiction. Here are a few areas I am working:
    1. Get in shape: exercise and diet
    2. Career: where do I go from here
    3. Wife and kids relationship: its OK today but it can be improved.

    Any of you every watch/listen to Elevated Recovery on YouTube? I have been learning and enjoying the videos.

    Stay strong and thank you for your support,
  9. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Good thoughts
    Together we are strong.
  10. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Hey GMS,

    I get a good feeling about your approach, I detect a strong determination to recover.

    What helped me tremendously was the Billy B line "PMO is not an option". Whatever happens, how ever I feel, it is just not an option.
  11. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Thank you Boxer17 and bobjes for your support! It is appreciated and helpful.

    Feeling OK today. But that usually spells trouble so I came here to read and post.

    Have a great day/night.

  12. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I copied this from a post by Newman8888. I find it profound
    Newman8888 said:
    I'm slowly beginning to see that it's not enough to not want to be addicted. That's but one side of the equation. It's equally important, or more important perhaps, to figure out what we want in its place.

    On some level, mostly subconscious, I think, there is weighing of the benefits (rewards) and the costs (inner conflict).
  13. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    These sound like great goals. As far as number 3. goes, I found that improving myself improved everyone around me.

    Boxer17 likes this.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    You can beat P, if I can do anyone can do it. If you fall down, ever, pick yourself up and keep going. Peace, GMS.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  15. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hi Fellow Fighters,
    I've been continuing my struggle and thinking about how this addiction is more difficult to overcome then my drinking. At 53 years old and PMOing since I was very young I am absent of all feelings, motivation and drive. At times I just say f@%^ it and what's the use. That is really the lowest feeling. And the kick in the ass is all I read and understand about this addiction is it will get better if I can overcome it... but I have not drive to fight it. So I continue to live in this empty shitty world... when in fact my life is quite good... WTF!

    Does that make sense to anyone else?

    I will continue to fight and take comfort and strength in you all!

  16. globalelite

    globalelite Member

    It makes perfect sense, it's all about breaking out of the PMO cycle. As addicts we've conditioned our reward centres to get the most high from PMO. Breaking out of that cycle is when you really start living and finding satisfaction in the little things.
  17. devnull

    devnull Member

    It's so totally worth it when you do quit, it's hard to say how great it is. I've recently been there, and am mad keen to get back there ASAP. But right now... suffering.
  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it's a fight, sometimes it's just a recognition that PMO brings nothing but heartache. We can watch the addict wrestling at us with dispassion. I don't know how it works, but I've watched it in myself. Just a couple of months ago I decided I was going to rub one off. I pulled down my pants, but the whole time I watching the addict at work. By the time I had my penis in my hand it all seemed just too useless and I got up and did something else. Addiction, as you know, is being trapped in a cycle. We don't think ourselves out of the cycle. We act/move toward health.
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    This addiction is as serious as any addiction (yes I include hard substances), a think a lot of guys make a mistake thinking this is somehow easier to kick than other many ways it can be harder.

    They say quitting tobacco is harder than quitting heroin...I've kicked tobacco in the nuts and quit easily. Porn has taken me five years to get ahold of...I guess it's just my kinda poison.

    I'm not saying that to scare you (that it's a bitch), but that is the reality. You have to treat it exactly like you did with alcohol.

    Keep quitting until you're done; every ounce of effort is worth it! Get back into a clean streak and keep going.
  20. Give Me Strength

    Give Me Strength Active Member

    Hello globalelite, devnull, Saville, 40New30 and Fellow Fighters,

    Thank you for your support, encouragement and guidance. All needed and appreciated.


    Good point, I need to remind myself about the headache and pain in the ass PMO is in my life. I commend you for the strength to get up and do something else once you started down the path! I do like the idea of moving and acting towards health.


    It is indeed harder to kick than other addictions. I think part of it is the secrecy. I’ve said it before, with my alcohol sobriety, I had so much encouragement from family and friends. That is one reason why you all and this forum are so critical to our sobriety. I also kicked tobacco in the nuts at the same time as alcohol and it was easy. It could be that I just fell into PMO deeper… at that time though there was no high speed internet. It is encouraging to hear you kept at it for 5 years to get ahold of… I am about 3 years in. It doesn’t scare me as much as encourage me.

    Feeling OK this morning. Still very anxious in the mornings. It’s the evenings when I am relaxed when I get strong urges. Last night, I faced the urge head on and thought it through as just what it is… a short term urge that will bring me not long term health!

    Have a great day all!


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