Giles' Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Giles, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. Giles

    Giles Member

    Thanks RFS. The date went well. She is a lovely woman and I felt a real connection with her... Unfortunately, her situation is complicated - she is married and still living with her husband and a little bit vague as to what's going on. If I had known this before I wouldn't have met up with her. But, as it was I felt a real bond with her and then she dropped the bombshell... Oh well!
  2. Giles

    Giles Member

    I must admit, the whole Convoy thing probably didn't help much... Funny though!
  3. Giles

    Giles Member

    Thanks for dropping by Omega Man. Your presence is missed when you're not around...
  4. midge

    midge Guest

    Ha! I could maybe be mistaken for an 80-yr-old, but only from some angles, and from a fair distance :)
  5. The text messages from your lady friend's side might have been out of courtesy and appreciation after reading your heartfelt letter. Or maybe she has retreated to her safe place again, and is hesitant to take chances.

    It's best not to read too much into text messaging. It's the most tenuous mode of communication, ime, but many times we depend on it nevertheless. It's impersonal, and easy to stop anytime, without ever formally acknowledging that the communication has stopped.

    Hope you catch the attention of more ladies in the days to come, Giles, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
  6. Giles

    Giles Member

    Thanks RM. You are right... I still think about her and I haven't ruled out the idea of making another romantic gesture. I have undersold my feelings for this lady really. We'll see. It's clear I need to be respectful and take my time and not get too attached to any particular outcome...

    Another couple of MO sessions sneeked up on me yesterday and this morning. If there is good news it is that I haven't been near P. I actually feel repulsed by it in some way. The real issue is my mind and the fantasies I create which can be triggered by fairly innocent images or scenarios...
  7. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    As one who has not yet conquered masturbation and masturbation binges, I sympathize with your current state of mind. I hope you can pull out of it soon, Giles. Nothing good can come of it, as you know. All trucks back on the highway!
  8. better_reward

    better_reward High-speed connection is an oxymoron.™

    Scratching my head. I don't understand why a woman would do that. ??? Unless she made it clear she was seeking friends, that seems bogus! Bummer for sure, but good to hear you trying though Giles.
  9. Omega Man

    Omega Man Everything counts.

    Wow that is a strange turn of events, her accepting a date while married. At least you know.
  10. mcbc_rewired

    mcbc_rewired Active Member

    I know what you mean. Been clear of F for a while now and nearly indulged one today. Was very clear in my mind how it was just like P in the way it lit my mind up. Def. keeping the wiring going. So time to get it out of my head.
  11. imout

    imout Active Member

    a female friend recently explained to me , that women often decide that a relationship is over and do their grieving while still in the relationship, with the guy often oblivious about it or thinking he is still working on repairing it. When she finally leaves him she is pretty much over it and some have the next guy lined up already. That sounds sexist but I can confirm from my personal observation that there is a number of women who do that (including mine).
  12. better_reward

    better_reward High-speed connection is an oxymoron.™

    Hmmm… you know now that you mention I think I had first hand experience of that imout.
  13. adamski123

    adamski123 New Member

    From this post it sounds to me like what you're really craving is an emotional and intimate outlet. If it was just a sexual outlet, I think your opinion to using porn wouldn't be disgust, I think it would be harder to resist. I'm guessing the fantasies are images full of passion and showing desire for a woman rather than just wanting to get your end away.

    With the woman, The solution? You are leading her as if the two of you have known each other for a long time. Give her the time of her life and don`t stop to think once if 1. She likes your or 2. [if you're ready] the two of you are having sex that night. It`s out on the table as an option, it`s happening and there is nothing the two of you could do about it.

    Once again; enjoy and trust the process, enjoy the moment, live the present with her untill you find yourself laying in bed next to her, and the most importat part of it all: trust yourself as being a man who leads women towards a great time.
  14. better_reward

    better_reward High-speed connection is an oxymoron.™

    Hey Giles. Chin up mate... in case it's not. ;) You have come so far and will keep learning. Hope to hear a check in from you sometime soon.
  15. Giles

    Giles Member

    Gosh, it seems I'm neglecting my own journal... Thanks for checking in RR and to Adam, Imout, Bright Eyes, OM and MC for your comments. I have been keeping up to date with others journals, but am checking in less often than usual.

    It has been a strange couple of weeks. I have had several MO sessions but I managed to get through yesterday without... I think the triggers were a mixture of boredom, stress and the YBOP stories, but also perhaps some performance anxiety. It wasn't a conscious choice I made, but I do feel a certain relief that everything is working okay 'downstairs' - I'm not at 100%, and there is more healing to go, but at least I know what I'm working with now...

    I had a second date with the lady I mentioned who is married. It turns out that, while still legally married, she is seperated from her husband and he knows that she met me for a date and is fine with this. I picked her up yesterday from their house and he was there and knew what was going on, so it doesn't seem like such an ethical dilemma anymore. She is foreign, and doesn't speak very good English and there was some miscommunication when we first met.

    Anyway, we had a really nice date. We toured a local historical site and held hands and it felt nice and intimate and natural. She initiated physical contact and there's clearly some mutual attraction and chemistry between us. This is huge progress for me - it feels really nice. I spent most of the day walking around with an erection, while I was with her, and the rest of the day with constant fantasies and the like...

    I have spent much of today on the dating sites, to help keep a balanced outlook, that there of plenty of other interesting women out there...
  16. mcbc_rewired

    mcbc_rewired Active Member

    Good news Giles. Go on lots of dates! Sounds like you had a good day though. Keep at it. It sounds like lots of fun.
  17. shaz

    shaz New Member

    Good to hear from you Giles and glad the date went well.
  18. midge

    midge Guest

    Thanks for the update, Giles! Kudos on your successful date. Keep up the good work. :)
  19. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    This all sounds great, Giles. Are you intent on not M'ing? Whatever progress we are making in our character is contingent, I am convinced, on not turning to dopamine-on-demand habits related to sexual (mis)use. Congrats, however, that the plumbing is working okay nowadays for you! Sounds to me like a successful reboot off of pornography.
  20. sonofJack

    sonofJack I deserve self-respect

    Excellent news Giles. Great to hear the dating thing is moving forward, but I'm equally pleased to hear you're seeking balance too. Stay mindful (but enjoy the ride).

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