Getting Back on Track

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by mhodgman50red, Jun 15, 2019.

  1. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Accountabilty is the best thing that's worked for me, so since I've been slipping more lately, I need to get back on here. I haven't been on here for years, and it was very encouraging seeing someone of my previous posts.

    To put it briefly, I started having ED by 19. But 24, I would have a beautiful girl riding me with a flaccid penis. I would even ejaculate flaccid. Code red.

    Fixing this was not easy, I thought it was medications I took, depression, anxiety, cancer, I couldn't not figure it out. I figured I really had something else wrong with me than what the porn did to me.

    Swearing off porn, actually holding myself accountable, and holding my and allowing myself to masterbate to my thoughts seemed super underwhelming at first, but ended up giving me much better orgasms. I actually got much worse anxiety for a long time, but ended up in a long term relationship with great sex (first time I was horrible, but great soon after that). My erections went from dead to at least 3/4 - full, more so 80-90% on average after a while of it.

    After a breakup, I fell back into bad habits again. Not nearly as bad, but it's amazing how quickly the negative effects come back too. They're so clearly not worth it.

    I'd encourage everyone on here that without a doubt, porn is toxic to your life. Here's to day two of no porn. First milestone - 30 days. Second - 90. Third -180. Looking forward to showing this as a success.
     
    occams_razor likes this.
  2. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Waking up to day 3 today. It’s weird, I feel like initially I get more depressed without the porn, because it’s my biggest escape. I’ve become a lot more introverted these last few years (not necessarily because of porn), and really like my time alone (even from my girlfriend). But I’ve noticed my sexual desire of her is declining and that’s not ok at all. So keeping that all in mind for day 3.
     
  3. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Finishing up day 3 of no porn. Not much to say. My drive as a whole is definitely down.
     
  4. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    11 days strong.
     
  5. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Messed up, starting over. Made it about two weeks.
     
  6. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Starting over again, damnit!
     
  7. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Two days going strong. Rough with my recent breakup, but nonetheless moving forward in a positive direction.
     
  8. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

  9. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 5. Fighting the urge, really want to but it’s not worth it. Erections have been kinda weak (masterbating but no porn).
     
  10. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 6. Want to look at porn really bad. It’s all to escape from reality. Hanging in there.
     
  11. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 13. Two days ago got real, real close to ruining it. Glad I didn’t.
     
  12. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 14. Really, really wanting to numb out with porn right now.
     
  13. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 19. It’s been a little easier the last few days, but a lot has been going on.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  14. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Day 37. Really want to watch porn today but won’t.
     
  15. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Active Member

    @mhodgman50red

    Congratulations on 37 days. Keep up the good fight!

    You've already passed your first milestone. Next up 90 days.
     
    mhodgman50red likes this.
  16. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    I gave in man. Ruined it after about 50 days. I’ll reply to this when I hit my 90 days. Stay strong. Thank you for the encouragement.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  17. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Active Member

    @mhodgman50red

    I'm sure you learned about yourself and this addiction during those 50 days. Keep up the good work.

    If you have any strong realizations, victories, or difficulties before you reach 90 days, I hope you share them in your journal so that other readers and I can read about your experiences.

    Take care
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
    mhodgman50red likes this.
  18. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    Will do, thank you man.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  19. mhodgman50red

    mhodgman50red The time is now.

    9 days no porn.

    When I relapsed over a week ago, it was crazy where my mind went. I truly felt I didn’t care, I just needed that fix. And that fix was so lame. It’s crazy how less intense an orgasm is to porn.

    First step 30 days, second step 90.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  20. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Active Member

    @mhodgman50red

    It's strange how the more animalistic parts of our brain can try to direct us toward less healthy and more harmful modes of living. But our brains also consist of areas that bless us with higher order thinking that allows us to think about goals, consequences and harms. Keep channeling that part of your brain and reclaim your life from the reckless ape that doesn't know any better.

    Wishing you the best of luck. Take care
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2019

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