Accountabilty is the best thing that's worked for me, so since I've been slipping more lately, I need to get back on here. I haven't been on here for years, and it was very encouraging seeing someone of my previous posts. To put it briefly, I started having ED by 19. But 24, I would have a beautiful girl riding me with a flaccid penis. I would even ejaculate flaccid. Code red. Fixing this was not easy, I thought it was medications I took, depression, anxiety, cancer, I couldn't not figure it out. I figured I really had something else wrong with me than what the porn did to me. Swearing off porn, actually holding myself accountable, and holding my and allowing myself to masterbate to my thoughts seemed super underwhelming at first, but ended up giving me much better orgasms. I actually got much worse anxiety for a long time, but ended up in a long term relationship with great sex (first time I was horrible, but great soon after that). My erections went from dead to at least 3/4 - full, more so 80-90% on average after a while of it. After a breakup, I fell back into bad habits again. Not nearly as bad, but it's amazing how quickly the negative effects come back too. They're so clearly not worth it. I'd encourage everyone on here that without a doubt, porn is toxic to your life. Here's to day two of no porn. First milestone - 30 days. Second - 90. Third -180. Looking forward to showing this as a success.
Waking up to day 3 today. It’s weird, I feel like initially I get more depressed without the porn, because it’s my biggest escape. I’ve become a lot more introverted these last few years (not necessarily because of porn), and really like my time alone (even from my girlfriend). But I’ve noticed my sexual desire of her is declining and that’s not ok at all. So keeping that all in mind for day 3.
Two days going strong. Rough with my recent breakup, but nonetheless moving forward in a positive direction.
Day 5. Fighting the urge, really want to but it’s not worth it. Erections have been kinda weak (masterbating but no porn).
@mhodgman50red Congratulations on 37 days. Keep up the good fight! You've already passed your first milestone. Next up 90 days.
I gave in man. Ruined it after about 50 days. I’ll reply to this when I hit my 90 days. Stay strong. Thank you for the encouragement.
@mhodgman50red I'm sure you learned about yourself and this addiction during those 50 days. Keep up the good work. If you have any strong realizations, victories, or difficulties before you reach 90 days, I hope you share them in your journal so that other readers and I can read about your experiences. Take care
9 days no porn. When I relapsed over a week ago, it was crazy where my mind went. I truly felt I didn’t care, I just needed that fix. And that fix was so lame. It’s crazy how less intense an orgasm is to porn. First step 30 days, second step 90.
@mhodgman50red It's strange how the more animalistic parts of our brain can try to direct us toward less healthy and more harmful modes of living. But our brains also consist of areas that bless us with higher order thinking that allows us to think about goals, consequences and harms. Keep channeling that part of your brain and reclaim your life from the reckless ape that doesn't know any better. Wishing you the best of luck. Take care
