Auditing is finally over and no major unsatisfactory findings happened. The inertia of all the anxiety from the last weeks has me a little perplexed, like a hostage who just got free and is still has an empty look into the horizon. Looking into the past 2 weeks: 1 PMO that felt half assed in the midst of almost impotence and lack of pleasure during the orgasm. Was made in a desperate attempt to fall sleep and failed. 1 MO in the morning "to relieve anxiety". Efficacy was probably placebo. 1 MO again in the night, junk fully hard in another attempt to get asleep that failed. I have looked at porn only that time in the last two weeks. To be fair, the stress compounds any judgement since the mind was way too occupied to be craving for tits on the screen. I'm not having any immediate motivation to start watching some P but yesterday a unrelated search gave an image of a hot looking girl sitting on the lap of her alleged boyfriend with a bare torso and shorts that startled me a lot. It was candid without looking too much corny and the showing of woman gleefully surrendering to her man brings me some sort of excitement: I wish I would have a woman surrendering to me like that on her own will, no further interest of her own, and not only for sex, but for thw holw pack of living together and having a kid. Looks so near, yet so far. Other than that, I'm passing through some nasty apathy right now. Can't care about spending time with family, friends, or even watching movies or playing videogames. All I know for now is that in some hours I'm going to bed and might get a good night of sleep. It feels dangerous, since with this utter lack of motivation a porn at the reach of a click looks easier although to be honest even jerking off looks like a ton of work. Is it normal to have an apathy phase? How long does it last?