From Pornography to Marriage

If a person goes from pornography to being married, without giving a gap between these two, will he become healed? He switches from pornography to marriage with no gap.....

 

Depends - if you are having regular sex I think it can help overcome pmo. but a lot of married guys here use porn as an outlet to seek novelty as sex becomes boring after a while.
it will prob help initially and then it depends how interesting your sex life is .

 

If you still have orgasms during marriage after quitting porn it doesn't matter cause your body needs to heal the addicted link from pmo. Could potentially keep you from recovering.

 

I used a lot of porn before I was married. . . and then carried on afterwards.

I probably used it in differently - I went from regularly surfing to massive binges every couple of weeks because it was easier that way, now I was living with someone.

Porn is nothing to do with sex - until it gives you ED! And marriage has nothing to do with porn, so one won't heal the other. It's not until you face up to your own fears and admit that you've been hiding from the world behind porn, that you can start to break free.

Sorry to say this, but love isn't strong enough to break a porn addiction. You have to heal yourself.

 

I am feeling scared of marriage. Please tell me if I will become healed after marriage? If it won't then why should I marry?

 

What if you feel like you're using porn to hide from sex and love?

 

Why would marriage change your current relationship? You presumably already have a woman in your life providing emotional and sexual intimacy? If so then marriage isn't going to change anything.
Perhaps being honest about your porn addiction with your partner might help you recover if she is supportive. If you don't trust her to be supportive then there's really nothing to lose, no point in being with an unsupportive partner let alone marrying them.

 

It's entirely normal to be scared of marriage - it's a big commitment, after all.

However, it's unrealistic to believe marriage - or anyone other than yourself - will heal you or make you complete or happy, or find whatever it is you are searching for.

You have to get yourself clean, because it's ultimately about learning to manage your own emotions and becoming happy in your own skin. It's tempting to look for magic, to believe that love will save the day - but that's not how the universe works.

So reboot, rebuild your self-esteem and learn how to be a happy and outgoing person - and then, if you meet the right person, marry. And if and when you meet the right person, you will know.

 

If you're a porn addict, don't get married. Marriage won't do anything long term if you're a porn user as far as healing you. Porn will in most cases ruin the marriage if not destroy it altogether.

 

I have never been in a relationship. But I am about to get married soon.

 

Can you give some advice on how to go deep into myself and make some changes inside me? Some lucrative advice would be great. There is so much advice on the internet but its not fruitful.

 

That is exactly my fear. But one positive thing came into my mind. At least marriage will stop me from going towards fornication. Even if it won't be able to counter my addiction. I read in Recovery Nation that Porn is actually an Addiction but we neither understand that nor treat it as such. If I would have been exposed to alcohol at first, I might have become an alcoholic or if I would have been exposed to another drug like cocaine I would have gotten hooked on to that. I was exposed to porn initially so I at once became hooked up on that. There is a much deeper reason why I am addicted but I just can't find that.

 

You mean marriage will stop you from physically having sex with someone else? That's not necessarily true. And even it is, it's hardly enough to counter the damage a porn addiction will bring to a marriage. Believe me, I know firsthand.

 

Look, that "hidden" problem is this bullshit you are fooling yourself. There is no easy way out of it, and marriage won´t heal you. Also there is no magic cure, having 200days+ monk strike myself I know what I´m talking about. For me it was shitty life what got me into NoFap, but PMO was not reason of my shitty life. All that hell was just consequence of my faulty life preferences. PMO surely helped a lot to get everything worse. True problem is wrong point of view, and there are things that helped a lot more just in days with my confidence than 200day+ monk strike. I don´t understand why do you want to get married tho, because it seems that you don´t truly want to. Only willpower, knowledge and determination all together can cure your addiction.

 

I have knowledge but no will power and I cannot muster up determination either.

 

I'd recommend reading 'Chasing the Scream'. I think love can actually heal.

 

I don't have a shitty life. What were the things that helped you a lot?

 

Maybe I think the underlying problem is that I didn't ever receive true love. I just crave a connection with someone. Since I couldn't receive it, I replaced this craving for a true connection with this addiction.

 

We as humans absolutely crave for a loving connection. And maybe some of us (especially those of us who are drowned in addiction) crave it a lot more. This craving for a connection based on true love and full trust made me turn towards this artificial way of fooling myself into believing that my craving was being met by this method. So I guess its time to give my heart to someone and trust her fully and become extremely vulnerable by letting her deep inside my heart and allowing myself to feel the depth of a connection based on true unconditional love and full on blind trust. This blind trust will make me very vulnerable and only then I will be able to experience full depth of a true connection. Thanks for the help guys. I will update you after I will go through this experience of love and vulnerability.