Fresh start again ...

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by positivef, Jul 11, 2020.

  1. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    Thanks for posting that link. I’ve been slowly reducing time spent surfing random stuff. It mainly consists of checking sports, random news items, twitter, wikipedia, move stuff etc. However, I think it would be good to reduce it further, so maybe I’ll try setting a structure time limit on it each day. Or maybe I should just try a dopamine fast to see how it feels. I’ve done a couple of 10-day silent meditation retreats in the past, and that was an interesting experience. So I should try a dopamine fast just as an experiment.
  2. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    Struggling a little bit this morning. Not killing sexualising thoughts quite as quickly as I should. Struggling to put the pieces of my broken life together, the desire to start is completing against the 'easy' path of masturbating with the fake promise to work on stuff later. But I have to exercise my focus and starting on starting. I imagine I am homeless at a fire gathering wondering if I can piece things together, or if I will continue downward for the rest of my life.

    Clovis's entry hit me hard
    I struggle to focus on one thing and end up never going deeply into anything.
  3. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Do you have any goals in life? e.g. start a new relationship, work on a new business idea, achieve emotional mastery? Has to be something you can get excited about, to give yourself a sense of purpose. Without that, you may find yourself drifting and finding ways to fill the time.
    positivef likes this.
  4. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    I have (too) many interests so the first goal it to whittle and sort them down into a goal/s - a sort of pre-goal goal is to be able to plan my time much better. At the moment, even though I have a lot of free time I end up doing things chaotically. Rushing somethings because the deadline is too near and leaving other ideas and projects abandoned.
    I feel like I need to be able to plan my time in a way that is realistic way before other plans can come to fruition. I spent several years doing a distance course. But during this I ended up rushing many aspects - which left the feeling that I could have done better. It also led to some opportunities being missed.
  5. catchingup

    catchingup New Member

    hey @positivef congrats on 27 days! Wishing you success my friend!!
    positivef likes this.
  6. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    @catchingup thanks for the encouragement. I've been doing hard mode for 29 days now, and it hasn't been much harder for me than abstaining from porn. I'm surprised but I've also combined it with being careful about my thoughts and not fantasizing. I notice have a bad habit of putting my hand near my groin, so I'm being mindful of that. The trickiest part is not thinking about old or new acquaintances in a sexual way.
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2020 at 1:17 PM
    catchingup likes this.
  7. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins New Member

    Good luck man! Stay strong! I am sure you already did that, but reading good success stories help me holding on. There are good ones on this site (Altruism247, Axiomatic).

    Take care man!
    positivef likes this.
  8. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    Thanks for the encouragement and tip. Yes it would be good to read success stories, especially when it feels like I'm at the bottom of mountain.
  9. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins New Member

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