Day 60. So here I stand. So far from the shore. There's no going back. Today I almost tipped out of my boat. In fact I was sure I was going to. If there is one thing that I have learnt from all this it's how shifting our mental states can be. I'm still holding it all together. Barely, but I'm still working on it. I had an old girlfriend staying with me last week. Having someone close to you come and stay can make a huge difference. I'm also about to face a big upheaval at work. I was almost certain that I would come home tonight and succumb to PMO. A couple of days ago I was browsing Youtube videos before bed and slipped into viewing some clothed pics of a fetish of mine. It wasn't enough for me to go further and I closed my laptop. There is always such a strong temptation to 'peak'. But what that did was that it opened a gateway in my mind. That was enough for urges to come surging back. Almost to the point of wanting to take control. Also feeling so low that I wanted to do ANYTHING to feel better. To take the edge off. Today, I was certain I was going to fail. But, by the time I'd gotten home, the urges had passed. I had dinner and called my dad and talked for an hour. I lie here in bed. Writing this update. I know I've weathered the storm again. Each time I see one coming, I know I'm becoming a better sailor on the sea of my emotions. I will not sink. I will not drown. I will keep my head above water. Just a few more minutes... just a few more minutes before the storm passes. PC.