For me, no private internet access = no desire to PMO

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by freeman35, Feb 28, 2019.

  1. freeman35

    freeman35 Active Member

    I have been doing PMO regularly for years now and have considered myself an addict for much of that time. However I have made a discovery that interests me and offers hope that I can end my PMO habits.

    For over a year now I have worked away a couple of nights per week at a location where I have a private bedroom, but not a private internet account - all internet activity there is visible to my employer. I am free to use the internet for all normal things - emails, youtube, netflix etc, and I doubt they actually monitor it. But obviously I am not going to look at porn whilst I am there, it could get me fired, and would be very humiliating to be caught even if I wasn't fired.

    The strange thing about this is that, whilst staying at this place where I am effectively unable to look at porn, I get no desire to do so, whereas I repeatedly get so-called 'cravings' to watch porn when I'm at home.

    It has led me to question what exactly is the nature of my addiction here...? Is it a physical/biochemical addiction, or is it more of an ingrained habit that would easily disappear if I didn't have a private internet account?

    By contrast, if an alcoholic found themselves suddenly unable to get any alcohol, they would still get withdrawal symptoms. And a drug user gets withdrawal when unable to get hold of any drugs. However, there is no 'withdrawal' from porn for me if I am in an environment where it would get me fired if I looked at some porn. A while ago I spent four consecutive nights there, without giving a thought to porn, yet at home going 48 hours without accessing it would be a struggle.

    Does anyone have any insight on this issue? Have people succeeded in getting clean by using accountability software? It seems that for me personally this could really work and is probably something I should do.

    The problem at the moment is that I don't have anyone in my life I could admit to needing the software because that involves confessing the porn habits.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
  2. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    The cause of pornography addiction is primarily the internet. Ditch that, you are free.
     
    Pearl Gourami likes this.
  3. freeman35

    freeman35 Active Member

    You are correct. Or, at least, private access to the internet.
     

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