Focus on Less Things

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by ClimbXR, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I think I'm definitely undiagnosed. My parents never bothered to take me to a psychologist as a child. I wonder if I would have been better now if I got therapy and pills.
    I was able to graduate multiple times, get a higher education and work in an office (more or less) before I quit to pursue the arts. I think what will help me is a serious sport routine first thing in the morning. I'm going to start running to the park every morning (if it's not raining) and doing exercises there. Better than in my tiny apartment.

    I actually know a family who has a kid with ADD/ADHD and he's on a cocktail of drugs and has teachers to help him focus. He seems miserable. I feel what he truly needs is a strength coach and some serious daily sport outside. Not my position to give advice. though but sport does help immensely.
     
  2. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    intensive exercise, i think is one of the very best therapies. Sometimes i feel that it literally keeps me sane :)
     
  3. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Last night I got home late from my job and kind of pigged out on way too much food. I feel fine this morning but need to really be more disciplined about my eating habits. I did some exercise in the morning but still woke up 3 hours later than I wanted. It's really about not thinking and doing. I did not meditate for the past 4 days and I'm seeing my mind is wandering more. It's so powerful to have a button in the brain and just be able to turn off unnecessary thoughts. Most of us struggle with this and meditation truly helps.

    I have about 4 hours to get get some work done before I have to leave back for my job. Hoping to be more productive today. Even if it's only 4 hours, it's a huge improvement.
     
  4. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    So I didn't get the position I interviewed for two weeks ago at the startup. I decided to send a text to the hot girl who interviewed me, just saying i'd like to keep in touch since I'm in this line of work for the long run. I was 99% sure she wouldn't respond. But I kind of had to see, since she's hot, same age as me and I was hoping to follow up with some kind of date.

    Of course she did not respond, and I am not surprised. I guess in situations like this it's really hard. Unless she was immediately attracted to me or sensed I had something of immense value she could get from me, there is no reason for her to respond.

    All hot women in my city are highly attracted to success, wealth, status and power. It makes things a bit more challenging here for a poor guy like me who truly has very little to offer financially. I truly need to have a superstar personality that mimics success.

    Glad I texted her though. Not going to send anything else.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2018
  5. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Trying to split up every day into things I need to accomplish, maybe you guys can help me figure out why progress is so slow:

    1. Exercise first thing in morning - 1 hour (necessary)

    2. Personal art project- 2 hours/day (possible cash once completed)
    2. Business website- 2 hour/day (cash is slow but can improve)
    3. Side Project (I get paid for)- 2 hours/day (steady cash but not much)
    4. Nightly job helping friend ( I get paid for) - 3 hours/day (temporary cash)
    5. Checking full time jobs/applying online - 1 hour/day (possible to replace (#s 3-4, alleviate stress)
    6. Going out to events/activities to meet women -rarely doing this.

    Perhaps I'm still trying to do too much. I feel all of this stuff is important though and I will se progress if I do a little every day. Problem is I skip days. I end up wasting time on all kinds of minor things around the house or errands. I keep telling myself if I wake up at 4AM and start immediately, most of the hard stuff would be done by noon. It's just been so hard to force myself.

    Any tips?
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2018
  6. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    that seems rough. I try not to overdue it with bottomlines or I go crazy. But since you're superclean, lots of respect there.
     
  7. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    i have this self hypnotherapy thing for self discipline, post it up if you like?
     
  8. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    @cjm definitely post up about the hypnotheraphy...i know someone who quit smoking through hypnotherapy
     
  9. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

  10. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

  11. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I'm trying to just do work in 2 hour spurts and get at least 3 spurts in per day. This is going to be my new approach. It's actually very hard without having a full time job. The freedom requires insane discipline.

    I will listen to the self-discipline mp3s in the evening. Thanks @cjm
     
  12. Living

    Living Active Member

  13. Living

    Living Active Member

    I know what it's like and what really helps me is not asking too much of my self. If at the moment you are often doing pretty much nothing, it might be better to start with 2 spurts than 3. Unless you can do 3 spurts easily ofcourse.I also like to keep away from my phone and computer as much as possible when I have my spurts. It enables me to really engage in what I do.
     
  14. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Last night, coming home from my side job I was thinking about my life in general and got very sad. I am not making enough progress
    I need to really whittle down my goals to health, wealth, and love and list specific actions I'm taking. I simply am not doing enough and I have no excuse to complain.
    I've reassessed my life situation and ultimately I want to not live in this crowded city and be around a decent woman who isn't a psycho. I know it's not so much to ask, but it's going to take a lot of hard work. Here are the three pillars distilled into specific actions I'm going to have to take. I will repost this list in 90 days to see how I'm doing. I truly need some accountability

    Health (action routines):
    1.Consistent Sleep Routine (same time every day)
    2. Exercising every day (first thing in the morning)
    3. Healthy Diet (limit sugar and caffeine)
    4. Minimum Technology (look at smart phone one time a day).
    5. Talk less and reveal less emotions to people (always think before speaking and be completely aware in the moment, not somewhere else)
    Wealth (in my calendar):
    1. Work on business every day (2 hours a day).
    2. Build a personal website and promote my brand for side projects in the art field
    3. Produce 2 art pieces for sale every year and list them (allocate 2 hrs in day for this)
    4. Get a full time job with insurance and benefits in smaller city (apply every single day).
    5. Do public speaking/events to promote art services
    Love (in my calendar):
    1. Go to as many events as possible where I can talk to women about what I like
    2. Approach every single woman that I have interest in at events (don't miss an opportunity I will regret).
    3. Make as many male friends as possible while pursuing interests (they may have women they can introduce).
    4. Focus on framing yourself as the man you want to be at all times and never forget the frame.
    5. Don't text/spend time with women who have no romantic future..cut them out quick.



     
  15. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I've been listening to @cjm's hypnosis mp3s, which have been extremely helpful. This morning I woke up with clarity and am thinking I simply need to cut down all my other goals on my list. I truly can't focus on too many things. So this is much more manageable. Working out and eating clean are automatic and daily lifetime goals that any respectable man should abide by. I'm not even including them.

    Daily Musts before 12 pm
    1. Work on business and complete the daily milestone I set. My goal is for it to make enough profit to cover expenses on west coast.
    2. Apply to jobs on west coast and complete daily milestones I set. My goal is to have a full time job on west coast so I have an income buffer to get going.

    After 12 pm
    Everything else that needs to get done.
     
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  16. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    So the internet no longer excites me. I am bored of everything on it. This is a good thing as it has been detrimental to my life for many years. I wonder if this is part of my recovery. I do enjoy going on this website to read other's journals but I no longer have a desire to watch YouTube videos or even look at social media. All I want to do is focus on my goals every day (which ironically involve building up my online business) and have a sense of achievement financially.

    Also, the more I am in my neighborhood, the more motivated I become about moving away from here. I feel like a loser here around these people. I can't wait to start fresh with new people and a new job in a much better climate without riding in a train 2 hours a day like a sardine with people sneezing and coughing at me, homeless people panhandling and dog poop everywhere on the street.

    I set up a very detailed list of things I need to do in order to get to the west coast. In regards to goal #1, it's all about working on the business every day. I feel the hypnosis is working because the things that distracted me before are no longer interesting. I realize they are just a waste of time.
     
    cjm likes this.
  17. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    So I'm focusing on three 2 hour work spurts a day for now. I don't want to overcomplicate things.
    I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. Had a dream of a girl I knew in art school and almost edged but was able to control myself.
     
  18. kopp

    kopp Member

    I enjoy reading your journal. You have a high potential and you struggle with putting the efforts. I know that too well...

    Keep strong man
     
  19. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I woke up late and was feeling tired. Yesterday as I was going to my side job I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in many years. As we were passing each other, he recognized me (I could see it in his eyes) but he didn't want to stop or even acknowledge me. But I decided to call out his name. We stopped to chat. The conversation was a little forced and awkward and we exchanged numbers. He said we should catch up but I felt it was nothing more than the faked niceties people say.

    As I left, I instantly regretted stopping him. Even though we were friends many years ago, we parted ways and I just can't imagine us rekindling anything. He's married with kids and is a totally different world. The only saving grace is that he's in the same art field as me and is rather successful in it. He's a good contact. So who knows...

    Today I lost the morning to some spark plug issues with my car. It's 20 years old but I can't really afford anything new now. Fortunately it was an easy fix. The shop was able to help me and the owner didn't charge much, so that was a relief. Now I have about 3 hours before I head to my night job, so I will work on my business and workout. I've made it a priority to apply to jobs in teh west coast again. I just can't take living here anymore. It's just too stressful, polluted, and expensive. Big cities are not for me. Besides working out, this is going to be my first two hour work spurt out of three. I like this system. It's very manageable. Once I get a full time job, it'll be easier.

    In regards to PMO, I'm staying strong and determined to recover. I'm at a point where I'm definitely noticing different women more...the ones that I would not have been attracted to before. Especially on the street. It's quite nice watching the ones that perhaps before I would not care much about. Women are great, it's such a shame what the unrealistic fantasy of porn does to us...making us only want one certain type. The hypnosis tapes are helping with the self esteem and discipline.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2018
    Londoner likes this.
  20. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I have been having trouble falling asleep these past few days. I'm certain it has to do with my increased coffee intake. I also haven't been drinking enough water throughout the day, which leads to dehydration and a poor sleep cycle. I woke up this morning feeling like a truck ran over me and didn't have the energy or desire to workout. I felt much better after a shower and breakfast.

    I turned off my phone. It's really been a terrible waste, even now. The screen time app is showing I spend average of 3 hours a day on various nonsense like texting and email. So now, I will just turn it on at 4pm for a few minutes and turn it back off. I have forwarded all my calls to my landline at the apartment. We truly waste so much time and sometimes don't even realize it. My day is about to start and I'm going to try really hard to get those three hour spurts of work before my night job. I enjoy taking the train to my night job now, checking out the women. Feels kind of exciting for some reason. I hope this is part of recovery!
     

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