Focus on Less Things

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by ClimbXR, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Things kind of went downhill around Thanksgiving and I've been PMO ing regularly. I've had a few clean days in a row but no consistent streaks. Journaling consistently helped me with my previous record streak of 84 days.

    So, on that note, I will be journaling again.
     
    cjm likes this.
  2. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    A longer post now. So my side job has been more or less stable and I've been able to pay my expenses and save a tiny amount. I still have debt I need to pay off. Unfortunately, I kind of gave up on applying to full time jobs for a few months. I got really frustrated with those young HR girls who would interview me. I just couldn't find a common language with them to get to the next round. I definitely need to sound more assertive and manly. Going to start applying like crazy again. I still dream of moving to the west: Arizona in particular and not taking public transportation and just having more space. But I can't do anything without a decent amount of savings first. So, for the time being I have to enjoy New York City. It's funny how everybody in America who is young and ambitious wants to move here. Most of them come from middle class and pretty well-off families.
    If you are poor, it's not fun here.

    I reset my counter once more this morning as I PM'd last night, looking on my phone. I've been reassessing my goals and I decided my very first and most important goal is to just have a girlfriend as soon as possible. There was a guy on this forum earlier who kept saying he needed "90 days" of being clean before beginning a relationship. I think this is wrong. I think finding a woman should begin on day 1 of recovery.

    I feel that the whole point of recovery is trying to become normal and integrated into society as a loving individual and not a reclusive addict. I'd rather have a lot of broken relationships while getting better and being dumped than just waiting and not trying anything.

    1) I set up an approach counter in the other forum to document my interacting with 100 women. I no longer care how I'm being perceived, just getting through this goal. Ideally I will have a girlfriend from this effort. If not, I will definitely get better. I will approach women every day as I commute to my side job. At my job, unfortunately there are no women. But there are a few cafes close by and plenty of ladies on the train and walk to work. I will also try to figure out ways to go to community events/meet ups where there are plenty of women. I really don't want to be online and do the dating site thing yet. Maybe after 100 approaches and practicing my social skills, which really need immediate attention in real world scenarios and not digital communications.

    My only other two goals are:

    2) continuing to apply to full time jobs in the city (first thing in the morning online resume submittal, etc..)

    3) working on my business and listing stuff online to sell every month.

    Of course, I am now working out every single morning, doing pushups and calisthenics.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  3. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    That is a powerful message, thank you for that. Just what I needed to hear. And I think your 100 women approach counter is pretty bad ass. You got cojones, man!
     
    ClimbXR likes this.
  4. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Day 1 was okay. Not as productive as I hoped. I tweaked my resume, and worked on my business. But honestly, the output was minimal. Gotta work on my speed in 2 hour bursts.
     
  5. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Day 2 was slightly better. Worked on my business and got some stuff done. Still not productive. Trying to report back that i had 3 productive 2 hour bursts of work. That is my goal.
     
  6. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I MO'd yesterday because I had trouble falling asleep and was just in a bad mood despite knowing I should be grateful that I'm not homeless considering my work situation (which is somewhat steady but enough to cover immediate bills)

    This morning I woke up early and did lots of pushups. I'm slowly trying to get up to a decent amount every day and am adding a few reps every morning.

    I also went for a walk to clear my head and was thinking how I really need to get my self worth together. Of course by doing positive things every day and improving slightly I'll build confidence. But I also need to really understand who I am as a person. That sense of self, that once one has, makes it so easy to talk to women. I have that clarity in moments but I rarely maintain it. I feel that bad thoughts seem to creep in about insecurity and how I'm a failure. I need to stop this immediately.

    I see so many guys with completely average capabilities and intelligence who do so well. Trying to just try to be my best everyday and convey my best image to the world at all the times. I want it to be authentic though, which I think will take time. It's a secret internal battle I hope to reveal to nobody.

    Yesterday, I had approach #1 which you can read about in my approach counter. The girl is hot but definitely not relationship material. It was good practice and makes me realize I have a long way to go to get smoother and more confident.
     
  7. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Reset my counter as I PMO'd this morning. It's really a drug, an escape mechanism when one is feeling down. On the positive note, I am feeling better from exercising every day.
     
  8. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I've been up at 6am past two days, working in spurts, have a much better sense of work priorities. Hope to continue.
     
  9. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    I've finally achieved clarity and am focusing on less things. On that note, I have to reset my counter as I pmo'd last night.

    Just working on one main thing at a time till it's done. It's so much easier. Also not looking at my phone as much anymore.
     
    cjm likes this.

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