First time, very long time

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by redranger1017, Apr 8, 2019.

  1. redranger1017

    redranger1017 New Member

    Hey there -

    I'm 55 years old, and have had an issue with porn and compulsive masturbation since my teens. I had a good deal of PIED in my 20s, including a long period of no relationships. In my 30s I got sober and my sex drive came back, I have managed to balance fapping with sex with my wife reasonably (acceptably? not-ridiculously?) well for about 20 years, although of course our frequency was less than it would have been.

    In the past several years as I've aged my ability to bounce back has been limited. I have a lot of trouble getting and maintaining an erection during sex, although of course I can fap as often as I want to. The compulsion has not abated, basically every time I get any kind of sexual energy generated I spend it in my hand. I can go 2 or 3 weeks without and then binge, like 3 in 2 days, that sort of thing. It's basically a mood-alterer for me, and since I don't drink or drug anymore it's my primary one.

    I work from home a lot, so I'm alone a lot, and when I'm bored or need a distraction...

    I've done a lot of work on myself over the last 5 or so years: I went back into recovery, did some therapy, worked on my spiritual program. Professionally and in terms of personal relationships I'm as good as I've ever been -- although I have struggles at home with my teenage children, all of whom have special needs of one kind or another. Yet there's still this... thing... that I can't get rid of.

    It's not who I want to be, but it's been with me so long that I thought I was stuck with it for this incarnation. I started looking into means of recovery, and today I have 18 days (I probably have never been past 30). So anything people can say about older men rebooting -- that is, a little encouragement that this is even possible -- would be appreciated.
  2. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    It's great that you've ditched the other useless habits. Sounds like a lot of good is already going on in your life.

    Fapping, imo, is one of the worst things a man can do: especially as we age. A woman's vagina can never match the vigor with which we rub one out and so this leads to problems of sensitivity. I've been off P for almost 3 years, but I haven't been as good about not M'ing. When I M I notice a huge difference in my sexual performance with the wife. If we want to feel useful, and sexual, and mighty as we age then we must only have PIV sex.

    Welcome aboard. There are many great journals here to read and ponder. Be as active as you can on the forum is always my advice.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  3. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Hey Matt, welcome to the forum.

    I find it interesting that you had PIED in your twenties. That was before the internet was around, right? I always thought that this was a relatively new problem, maybe 10-15 years old.

    Good luck to you!
  4. redranger1017

    redranger1017 New Member

    Maybe it was just MIED. Or maybe the P stands for "Penthouse"
  5. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard. You can definitely get off pmo. I am off it for 11/2 years now and I am 59 years old this summer. As Saville said: have to be careful of m it can lead to full blown pmo real easily. Lots of help here, read journals. Again welcome aboard.
  6. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Welcome sir. You will find men here who are fighting the same battle. To gain and maintain our own integrity.

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