Hi all, I signed up today as I feel my porn addiction is having a massively negative impact on my quality of life. Every now and then I'd browse this site but I never thought I'd have the courage/willingness to post. I'm 35 and have been watching porn since I was in my late teens. I watch porn every night and it isn't uncommon for me to watch porn for 5 hours+ on any given night. 2 hours would be a short time spent on porn at night. I edge and don't allow myself to ejaculate for hours. Sometimes doing this twice in one night. Below are some of the issues porn has/may have caused me: - when I lost my virginity at 20 I wasn't able to sustain an election. - the only women I ever loved left me after 4 years and I believe my inconsistent elections didn't help. I would masturbate every night and would try to allow 3 days to recharge before meeting her. This wasn't healthy behaviour. She was aware porn caused my inconsistent erections. I have done this in my following relationships - trying to leave 3 nights with no masturbation before meeting up. - I needed an operation as I had a urethral stricture. I believe this was caused by years and years or edging on porn. It has since come back as my habits didn't change. The other day I was literally unable to urinate at all after an 8 hour edging session! This massively scared me. I've pretty much accepted that this is part of my daily routine despite how much id love for it to change. The reason I'm posting now is that I've been having constant morbid thoughts which is preventing me from being able to enjoy any moment of my life. I believe the pandemic has been a major factor in me feeling this way but wonder if my porn addiction is also contributing to my negative thought process. Is this possible? I just want to escape this negativity so I can enjoy my life. Its preventing me from sleeping. The only thing that switches me off from negativity at the moment is when I edge on porn. This message is basically a cry for help. Thanks in advance for any replies I may receive.