Findom / Femdom Addiction Recovery

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by breaking_free, Oct 8, 2017.

  1. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    Hi everyone,

    I am relatively new here and only discovered this great forum last week. I've already posted a few messages on another thread, but I thought it would be good to create a thread where I also talk about the personal journey I am on.

    I have been addicted for many years now to Findom / Femdom related pornography and in recent times have escalated to joining social media websites like Twitter where I have spoken to numerous "Findoms" and even begun sending them money (this was one of the worst, most addiction-escalating mistakes I made).

    I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit just how bad this addiction has become. It's literally taken over my life. It would not be uncommon for me to spend between 4 to 6 hours in any given evening with this pornographic material and searching for Dommes to session with- every single day of the week.

    Clearly this porn provides an enormous amount of stimulation and pleasure and escapism- all available instantly, 24/7.

    But at what cost?

    The cost for me personally has been:
    • Isolation / Poor social life
    • Low self esteem
    • Development of anxiety and more recently, panic attacks
    • Depression
    • Loss of money
    • Struggle to get or keep a girlfriend
    • Huge amounts of lost time
    • Not meeting any personal goals
    I have reached a point where I am at a cross roads. If I carry on the way that I am- this stuff is genuinely going to ruin my entire life.
    The other option is to fight this addiction and attempt to overcome it and live a better, more fulfilling life.

    I have chosen the latter option.

    But I'm under no illusions how difficult this is going to be. Whenever I try to stop doing this stuff, it feels like my brain comes under 24/7 attack with extremely powerful cravings & urges which just keep going and going until I give in to them.

    I am beginning to understand that this addiction is a battle between two parts of my brain that each have very different priorities.

    One part of me wants to live a good life, interact with others, have a fulfilling relationship, achieve my goals ect. But there seems to be a more primitive part of human nature that can, in some people, create addictive behaviours. Unfortunately, this part is extremely powerful, and capable it seems of completely hijacking my mind at any given moment with all of these cravings and urges to engage in this destructive habit.

    The one thing I have developed, is an absolute unshakable determination that I am going to beat this. Whilst it is unfortunate that I have lost money from engaging in the Findom fetish, oftentimes with people who I end up never speaking to again, arguably I am losing something far more valuable than money - I'm losing time. My life is passing me by.

    I have been in this dark place long enough unfortunately to learn that there are some quite nasty people out there in the world who would quite happily keep you addicted to this type of porn material and even ruin your life if it means they can make a profit.

    I know deep down there will be times I relapse and times that the urges take over my willpower, but the important thing is that I want to commit to an overall journey of recovery.

    Much the same way as a large vessel that has built up momentum travelling in the wrong direction would require a massive haul to turn around and start charting a new path, I realise that this is going to take a great deal of work and effort to turn my life around, so I do not expect 'instant results'.

    I am going to try to keep this thread up to date with my progress and thoughts as I progress.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2017
  2. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Your grammar is perfect, i had such deeply miserable journey with porn that writing became a problem. Your brain probably still is capable of full recovery.
     
    mailboxsam likes this.
  3. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    @jack91 Hi Jack - I'm very sorry to hear you had such a bad experience that this even effected skills such as writing. From the research I have done, porn literally changes the brain over time causing untold damaging effects. I guess the silver lining however, is that if the brain is constantly changing/adapting, it is possible over time to heal and recover.
     
  4. globalelite

    globalelite Member

    It's great you have got to this stage, the realisation you need to change has found you teetering on the edge of an abyss. You are aware of the trap you are in and are determined to break free, this is excellent. However it is not easy to keep the same motivation, especially as I suspect you gravitate to these behaviours as a release from frustration. Very few have the willpower to beat this addiction 'easily', some do because they truly find themselves at rock bottom which can provide enough motivation to beat it.

    For me I don't think I've ever quite reached rock bottom but I'm increasingly aware when I'm slipping into the abyss. Be careful not to find yourself in a sort of limbo, lost in the catacombs of your mind you'll see daylight but it turns out to be a lot further away than your realised. This is where your motivation will be tested and it is hard to keep the forward momentum.

    My advice is to understand what triggers the behaviour and develop strategies to deal with them. Personally I turned to these behaviours as escapism and 'strategies' to dealing with negative emotions, but even being conscious of negative emotions is hard if like me 'distraction' became an almost default state.
     
  5. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    @globalelite Hello and thanks for your comments. It's definitely true to say that the motivation to overcome this addiction does fluctuate and I'm skeptical as to just how much willpower alone can really beat this- because the word "urges" does not really do justice to what this is. It's more accurate to say that this is a compulsion capable of completely hijacking the brain and cutting off your logical, thinking mind.

    Your advice on identifying triggers and avoiding them is definitely very true. It's a big mistake when you place yourself into potentially triggering situations whilst thinking "I can handle this". Something I am learning is that there's no shame in admitting that no, you can't handle it. Right now I'm not strong enough to "resist" certain things. So its' much better to avoid the situation altogether, and catch it early on. Because let's be honest, most relapses don't begin with you sitting down at the computer browsing porn- they began way before that.

    To be honest, so far things have not been going very well in my journey to overcome this. Before I even started this thread, I managed to last a grand total of 3 days last week before relapsing on day 4. I then managed to stay away from Findom/Femdom all of yesterday, but relapsed again today. So over the course of 6 days, that's 2 relapses.

    Pretty pathetic, when I see guys on this forum managing to last between 30 and 70 days!

    Then again, I am coming from a situation where I was literally spending hours upon hours, every single day, edging to this material, so I guess some progress is better than none at all.

    What can be learned from todays relapse?

    Well, I did not sleep very well last night and had a tiring and stressful day today. Despite blocking numerous websites, I'm still in the process of removing Financial Dommes I have aquired on various app's like KIK and Skype ect. It may sound completely crazy, but I feel guilty deleting some of them. I said to one of them today that I am no longer going to be engaging in the Findom stuff. I thought she was the type that would understand, but instead she said somethings to deliberately trigger me.

    Obviously, looking back, this is a completely stupid thing to do. I need to understand any connection I feel to these people is an illusion- they don't care about me, and are just exploiting this fetish I have. I should not say anything to them- because of course they will just say things like "You will never be able to quit" ect - I need to just block & delete them.

    So that's one thing I learned today- a relapse can begin a long time before the act itself happens. It can begin with a poor nights sleep or a stressful day at work, or simply feeling unwell or having a bad day.
     
  6. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    Replacing thoughts which give away power, with thoughts that take power back

    Part of my strategy for overcoming this addiction to Findom/Femdom related materials has been to start becoming more mindful of my own thoughts- in order to discover the thinking patterns that are driving this destructive problem.

    One of the things I have noticed is that a large component of this addiction relies upon maintaining the fantasy that Online Fin-Dommes , or even various Femdom websites somehow "make" people pay them or buy their clips.

    Being lost for hours on end in some kind of mindless state of edging is mostly maintained by unconsciously accepting the idea that I am somehow being "forced" into doing things like sending tributes to Online Dommes.

    This bubble gets burst however, by thinking about the reality of what is happening.

    The truth is, I need to start to accept that I approach these Dommes myself. No one forces me to do it. I type in the Femdom websites into the internet browser myself. I talk to these Dommes and even tell them ways they can manipulate me to get more cash. In other words, I am choosing to do this. I'm doing this to myself.

    While this might be blindingly obvious to others, this is a very difficult realisation for me to accept.

    The truth is, it's all an illusion. These Financial Dommes or even the porn websites really have no inherent "power" over me, or anyone else. They 100% rely upon people with pre-existing addictions going back to them, again and again. If you block them and choose never to send any further money, there's nothing they can do about it. Zero.

    That might not be as "sexy" to think about- but that's the whole point. In order to stand any chance of overcoming any addiction, it makes sense to stop believing that you are powerless to change due to forces outside of your own control.

    I am now going to be making a conscious effort to catch myself whenever I slip into this mindset and start thinking thoughts which give away all power and responsibility for my own actions. I need to remind myself, over and over again, that this is ultimately something I am choosing to do.

    Every time I have the urge to contact a Fin-Domme or visit a Femdom porn website, I am going to attempt to make myself "snap out of it" by reminding myself that right this moment, I am CHOOSING to do this. And, more importantly, if this is something I am choosing to do, I need to ask myself, why am I choosing to do this?

    I feel that digging deeper inside myself to find the answer to that question could prove valuable in my ongoing journey to overcome this addiction.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2017
  7. globalelite

    globalelite Member

    You're right, motivation and willpower isn't enough. We need to do everything we can to remove temptation, deleting your contacts (without a 2nd thought) that are clearly triggers is definitely the right thing to do! Creating a clean slate where your old 'life' is totally removed is key, without doing it you'd simply be setting yourself up for failure.

    It sounds like you're about there but it's not going to be plain sailing, the addict part of your brain will draw you back in if you let it. The next stage is arguably even harder as we learn to live our lives without the crutch that we've relied on. Don't beat yourself up for relapsing, but understand that you are hurting your recovery. The crutch has made your weak and it takes time to reorientate your life that doesn't contain PMO, you're used to being able to get a release of lovely brain chemicals at the click of a button. It takes time for your brain to rebalance.

    I'm on a 10 day streak and withdrawal symptoms are there but PMO doesn't have the hold on me it used to. I really need to rewire!
     
  8. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    @globalelite That's very true- removing all of these pornographic triggers to the point where porn isn't an option anymore is key. Even though I'm in very early days with this, I quickly learned that the addict part of your brain is very good at keeping various doors open that lead you back into relapse.

    For example, you might delete some porn videos, but the addict part of your brain will remind you that you can still visit some website and simply re-download some of the videos.
    Or perhaps you will try to block access to websites on your computer, only to be reminded by the addict part of the brain that you can still have a sneaky look on your phone.

    Do you mind me asking, since you say you are on day 10 (congrats on that by the way), what things you have done that are working for you?
    Are you attempting to overcome addiction to general pornography, or pornography that relates to the types of fetishes I have raised in this thread?

    It's always useful to hear other peoples journeys too , and pick up any helpful information that can be shared to help others.
     
  9. globalelite

    globalelite Member

  10. mailboxsam

    mailboxsam Member

    Welcome breaking_free. My problem is related but different - I get turned on by thoughts of becoming / dominated to become female. And reading fiction stories of such like. For some people, it's a harmless fetish. For me, it has proved harmful - it can consume me. I know I don't really want to change my gender because I only want to fantasize about it (and escape to a land of drug-like filled bliss) when I'm stressed, fatigued or filled with resentment with the world. It is definitely a form of escapism, just like the more standard porn addiction on this site. Again, for some it may be a healthy escapism. It is not so for me.

    So - I want to say good luck on your journey. You are not controlled by these women. Nothing in life is fixed, inevitable. You have agency. Try to imagine these so called all powerful women in demeaning but real circumstances, such as living below the poverty line, or losing their health. It may puncture the illusion of their great and awesome power. No one is a god and no one lives forever. Life is bigger than all of us.
     
  11. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    @mailboxsam Hi, and many thanks for the welcome message and the wishes of good luck - I definitely need them!
    Completely agree with your comments regarding mentally re-framing the women in these fantasies in order to break the illusion.

    I had a quick look at your recent forum posts and saw that you are reporting being free from PMO for well over 100 days. I have to say as someone who has struggled even to last a few days at a time, I'm extremely impressed by that.

    In your message to me, you seemed to imply that your fetishes are still a part of you however, and that you haven't actually been able to get rid of them.
    Please correct me if I am wrong.

    I must admit, if this is the case, it does concern me somewhat, because I was under the impression the whole point of staying PMO free for 90+ days is part of a theory that by doing so, your brain will rewire itself, losing porn-induced fetishes and healing back towards more "healthy" or natural sexuality.

    Do you mind me asking if you feel that staying away from PMO for all the time you have has actually helped? Is it even worth doing? Or is it possible that certain fetishes are simply a part of who we are and cannot be changed? What are your thoughts?
     
  12. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    The more I examine the fetish for things like Financial Domination, Verbal Humiliation, various forms of Femdom ect- the more I become convinced they are in fact manifestations of an unhappy life.

    This type of porn or online interaction creates an unfortunate cycle:

    - You feel bad about your life, and start edging for hours to flood the brain with pleasure and escape from painful realities & emotions
    - The exact same material contributes to loneliness, self-esteem problems, depression ect
    - As your life gets worse- certain messages in Femdom (e.g. "you are a loser") start to feel re-enforced , like they are true
    - You feel bad, crave more pleasurable sensations, and the cycle starts all over again.

    I must admit in my journey so far to overcome this addiction, I have felt pretty damn miserable.
    Blocking websites, deleting online social media accounts, removing all access to Femdom/Findom related materials has laid bare the cold hard truth: I'm not happy with certain parts of my life, and I need to fix it.

    It's left a hole in my life, that I need to fill.

    I know I need to fill that hole with productive, healthy and good things. But it's going to take time to repair my self esteem and undo many self-destructive compulsions. Ultimately, that is what this is- a form of self sabotage.

    The first step starts with breaking the cycle- cutting off this material from making things any worse.
    The next step, is arguably much, much harder: healing my self-esteem, and finding ways to lead a more fulfilling life.
     
  13. I was in a similar trap after a breakup, the genre is especially debilitating and its a vicious cycle. My self esteem has never been higher than now I'm happy to report.
     
  14. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    As far as femdom goes. I think FD is just a result of overthinking at work or other parts of life. Like having control at work. We'd like not be in control in the sexual part of our lives. On the other hand I think somebody who has no control at work, has a pesky boss that is always on his nerves, he might go for a genre where he is in control, maybe something like painal or stuff like that.

    One of the things I think we need to change our mindset. We creators. There is no break. No magic time where we get to magically release ourselves of our obligations. We need to be in control of work, life and sexual life, there is no break from this. It is not as bad as it sounds.
     
  15. mailboxsam

    mailboxsam Member

    @breaking_free: I regard my cross gender arousal as a fetish. A kinky desire. So yes it is part of me, forever I think. Who knows when it developed but it is part of me now. I'm not doing no-PMO to get rid of this desire. I'm doing it to not let that desire produce harmful effects and overpower my
    life. To me it's just like being an alcoholic. For them, they love the taste of alcohol, but unfortunately it is a negative effect in their life. And unlike others they can't control that urge once they give in to it. So they have to stop. But I don't think they expect to ever lose that desire to have a drink. That's just the sad truth of it. If I could find a way to have a healthy self esteem, be able to look women in the eye, and have a productive career while indulging in 3 hours every day of reading cross gender erotica and looking at pictures, I would love to do that :) but I have t been able to find that way. That's why I'm here...

    And yes I have had positive results from my current > 100 day run. Cutting the fapping out my life has forced me to do stuff on weekends, like volunteering at community events and exercising more, and also phoning people to prevent me from drowning in loneliness. That in turn has led to things like successfully buying a house, as well as successfully renting a new one. Having said all that, the last two weeks I've been feeling really down. Can't exercise like I used to because my foot is injured, and I just have no energy. PMO is looking like a great option right now!
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2017
  16. mailboxsam

    mailboxsam Member

    One last thing. The word "fetish" isn't quite right, because I definitely also edge and MO to escape my troubles and go to a land of bliss. "Fetish" sounds so innocent and harmless, it doesn't include that huge element of using it to escape underlying problems. Anyway sorry to spam your home profile thread.
     
  17. kira

    kira Member

    @breaking_free
    Reading your posts made me feel like something I would write a few months back. I feel you. I am addicted to the same porn which initially started as a foot fetish but now has escalated into highly demeaning, humiliating and dehumanizing porn addiction. It has gotten so bad that I had started questioning my sexuality. I can't look myself in the mirror.

    This addiction has significantly impacted my career, personal and social life. And the guilt of wasting my time on pixel screens and fantasizing about getting degraded instead of building a fulfilling life always stays.

    It's like this loop: You feel bad-you pmo-you feel bad-do it again. I have been addicted to this for nearly 10 years and one thing I can say for sure is that this addiction can cause unprecedented amount of damage. Only willpower will not make the cut. I have tried and failed miserably. The truth is that we are unable to handle our own emotions and self-disappointments and instead of developing those skills we take refuge in pmo.

    It seems like the worst form of porn addiction as it completely destroys one's self esteem and confidence. I just want to tell you that you are not alone in this fight and a lot of other guys are struggling with the same problem. It is very much possible to break out of this addiction but we need to change our approach and commit to ourselves. As one of my friend on this forum puts it: "We are not bad people, just looking for happiness in the wrong places".

    Godspeed mate!
     
  18. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    It's good that you can be so open and honest about these struggles. The more I progress along my own journey, I am beginning to learn that it's quite important to define exactly what you are trying to achieve. Simply stopping masturbation and counting the days go by is not necessarily going to achieve anything. I'm not saying that's what you are doing by the way, it's just a general observation.

    Similarly, it can be tempting to get so wrapped up in this "battle" to overcome whatever sexual issues trouble us, that on some level, maybe we are developing a type of black and white thinking without even being aware of it- imagining that by "curing ourselves" of whatever sexual dysfunctions we deem ourselves to have that we will finally be happy. When in reality, that's only one part of the picture. For example, even if someone reached a point of completely eliminating all sexual desire within themselves, it wouldn't necessarily make them happy.

    Again, not saying this is your approach- it's just food for thought.
     
  19. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts- it's really nice to know there are others out there who understand.

    I'm sorry to hear of the negative impact this has had on your life.

    Sadly, I think it's all too common with internet pornography to start out with a taboo, but relatively innocent fetish, and then wind up viewing more and more 'hardcore' material.
    I don't think that tendency is just limited to Femdom- I guess it could apply to a whole different range of genres.

    You say you have tried and failed miserably.

    I think ultimately with this issue, a lot of brutally honest self-reflection needs to be done. That's going to take time. As I discussed in a previous article, it's vital to break away from that "external locus of control" type thinking where you are thinking something "out there" is causing you to do this stuff. No, the truth is- you are doing this to yourself.
    The good news though , is that this means the key to figuring this out is within yourself too.

    You need to look inside yourself and genuinely ask yourself in a non-judgemental way- what is it that drives you to seek out this type of material?

    That's what I'm doing right now, and it's proving to be a very interesting exercise.
     
  20. breaking_free

    breaking_free Member

    Trying a new approach - The path of self acceptance in place of self hatred

    This post is going to be a very difficult one for me to write, as I am still myself trying to come to terms with a big revelation which has hit me only in the last day or two.

    My journey to overcome an "addiction" to Femdom began a long time before I joined this forum. I have been sexually aroused over the idea of Femdom in one form or another for as long as I can remember. Definitely more than 10 years.

    Even admitting to myself that I have been turned on by Femdom for over 10 years, is very frightening, because this something that I do not want to face up to.

    I have spent over 10 years trying to hide and cover up what turns me on, over 10 years of absolutely hating and despising a part of my own self, wishing these desires would just go away and that I could just have "normal" sexual preferences.

    Despite all of the self-disgust at having these fantasises, the sexual desires for Femdom have never, ever gone away. They have been a steady constant - always returning, again and again, over and over, no matter how much I try to push them away.

    This dilemma has resulted in an internal battle in my own mind for almost half of my entire life. Femdom has always been this big "secret" that I need to not only keep hidden from people around me, but from my own self.

    Such is the extent of trying to push away these Femdom fantasises, that over the years I have actively dated and formed relationships with women who are the exact opposite of the women I find appearing in my Femdom fantasises. I have tried to convince myself that my preference is not for Dominant women at all, but instead for more submissive women.

    Looking back now, it's obvious that these relationships were never going to work, because they were all part of a personal campaign to deny a certain aspect of my own self.


    Repressing sexual desires gives them a stronger & more negative energy

    I've spent a huge amount of time and energy in my life not only hating and despising this sexual desire for Femdom, but actively trying to repress and "get rid of" it.

    In my own mind, these desires have become a giant monster- a destructive force that I need to get rid of.

    I have rationalised to myself that perhaps I was corrupted at some stage in my life to become this way, that I have somehow been tricked, brainwashed or conditioned into having a sexual preference that I do not really want to have, because telling myself this story is always a lot more comforting than facing the idea that perhaps this is simply a part of who I am.

    And so I've tried, with all the willpower in the world, to push these desires away, many, many times.

    There's only one big problem with this approach: It never works.

    Not only does repressing my sexual feelings about Femdom always make them come back sooner or later even stronger, it also makes them take on increasingly unhealthy forms.

    And this is the bombshell that hit me recently:

    Perhaps my sexual preferences are simply a part of who I am, and always will be.

    And what if all that shame, all that self-hatred, all of that repression of sexual feelings is itself the very reason why I have adopted unhealthy methods & compulsions as an outlet , such as various destructive forms of pornography.

    This denial of ones own sexuality could be likened to someone who is homosexual , but who harbours a deep sense of shame and as a result tries to "pretend" they are sexually attracted to the opposite sex. By hiding who they really are, covering it up, trying to push it away, they make their own sexual preference into a shameful secret, a part of themselves they identify with as being "bad". The resulting negative effects on self-esteem would inevitably cause this person to seek out self-destructive and toxic outlets for sexual relief.

    I found a quote in an article by Psychology Today, which sums up perfectly what I mean:

    “But if expression of sexuality is thwarted, the human psyche tends to grow twisted into grotesque, enraged perversions of desire.”

    Perhaps by simply denying my own sexual preference for Dominant women so strongly, it has lead me down a path whereby my sexual outlet is reflective of this self-hatred- leading me to use unhealthy pornographic materials.


    The consequences of pushing away sexual desires

    I've spoken to a few people over the course of trying to "quit" Femdom- and noticed a trend that comes up time and time again. People will say that similar to myself, they've had these sexual fantasies for as long as they can remember, that they just can't seem to "get rid" of them.

    I myself have tried numerous times every trick in the book to push these unwanted desires away.

    The approach of repressing these sexual urges may come in the form of:
    • Blocking certain websites
    • Blocking social media accounts
    • Blocking certain thoughts which come into my mind
    • Blocking sexual feelings that relate to the unwanted desires
    • Avoiding certain situations, people, television shows, magazines, that may "trigger" any unwanted desire or thought
    • Counting how many days I can "last" without thinking about the wanted desires
    Whilst this "blocking" approach may work perfectly fine for some people (and if it works for you then that's great), in my own personal opinion, I am starting to feel that maybe the act of "blocking" isn't really solving the underlying problem.

    Blocking out sexual 'urges' does not address the underlying issue

    For me personally, the approach of blocking out sexual desires has been absolutely devastating, and has lead to a great deal of internal anguish, confusion and emotional pain.

    Not only that, but it has made the urges about 100 times stronger than they ever would have been, and made them take on extremely unhealthy forms.

    Trying to "quit" has ironically probably doubled my usage of unhealthy pornography.

    I'm not saying this approach would not work for others, again I am just using this thread to document my own personal journey.

    Even various language such as describing this as an "addiction" is ultimately proving to be counter productive because in my opinion it's sending the wrong signals to your own mind and making something into an even bigger issue than it was before this type of language gets applied to it.

    Stop blocking & repressing - Start searching for healthy expressions of sexual desires

    So, instead of taking the approaching of repressing my sexual preferences, I am going to try accepting them.

    Not avoiding them. Not pushing them away. Not making it into this big "battle". Just letting go, relaxing, and accepting them.

    Does this mean accepting unhealthy expressions of Femdom / compulsive porn use?
    NO. That is not what I am saying.

    What I am saying is that these compulsive behaviours may be symptoms that directly result from repressing a basic, underlying sexual preference and being ridden with shame and self-hate over it.

    In the case of a sexual desire for Female Domination, by accepting this sexuality and embracing it, I am hoping it will become possible to liberate myself of all of the compulsions that are a result of the shame and actually embrace more healthy ways of enjoying Femdom.

    Ultimately, when it comes to sexual desires that we are not happy with we have 3 choices:

    1. We can fight against them, repress them, push them away and hope our sexual preferences change
    2. We can attempt to extinguish all sexual desire , to go completely numb
    3. We can look directly in the face of our unwanted sexual desire, with a forgiving non-judgemental attitude and accept it, embrace it, and seek out better, more healthy ways to express this desire.

    It's really important to say at this point that I am not suggesting people cannot get rid of negative, harmful sexual problems (such as unhealthy pornography use, excessive masturbation ect).

    I'm simply saying that on journey so far, I am finding that path #1: repressing sexual urges, is proving counter productive for me and may in fact be contributing to my problems.

    My own personal feelings right now, are that by adopting the path of number 3 in this list, it opens up a lot more scope for emotional healing moving forwards.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2017

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