Finding a way forward

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by cjm, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    doing generally well

    a little webcam viewing going on, but not much. when i know i have some possible sex coming up i abstain completely and it seems to do the trick

    L was supposed to come round last Saturday, but she had some kind of freak out and cancelled. A ended up coming over that night instead and we had a VERY sexy 12 hours or so

    She says she is busy the next few weekends, so im just going to leave it to her to reach out again like this time. I think we'll probably be seeing each other again - in the meantime i want to try and generate some other options. I did day gaming the other day and got 3 no.s. None of them went anywhere in the end, but i still consider this progress. One of the girls was absolutely stunning (they were all nice) so i feel im making progress. Im tired of online dating so for now its a no go

    Im not immune to having the odd shit day, or sometimes being in a shitty mood at work - but it doesn't last now. I bounce back and i dont let things get me down the way they used too. I have less fucks to give :)

    the track is going fairly well - i have a week to finish mixing it then on to the next one. The strings sound great! Very grateful to have my music. I dont need a woman but damn i need my music! Im really tired tonight after work but off and i cant manage my piano practise. oh well :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2019
  2. Living

    Living Active Member

    No one is immune to that. So I guess you have become a normal person;) Good to hear you are doing fine though!
     
    cjm likes this.
  3. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    It's good that you have some options in the female department. Definitely helps to be less dependant on a woman. That way they have no leverage over you. The more I've read on the mgtow reddit, the more it's clear that the man is the prize, as the man has to put so much effort in developing himself and getting his life together. Definitely enjoy the nice things you have in your life :)
     
    Londoner likes this.
  4. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    thanks mate. TBH i dont have options at the moment though, A is half an option at best and i considering making the choice not to see her again anyway if she gets in touch, Not really happy with the situation there. Best thing to do prob just to leave it be, if she gets in touch ill decide what i want to do at the time. Last time was a lot of fun, but pretty intense -at one point i was slapping her around a bit during sex and calling her a "dirty whore" etc. She enjoyed it at the time of course but after one does tend to think perhaps it was a little extreme. I think ive finally distanced myself from her on an emotional level and im ok with just letting her go now

    L bailed which was really weird, talking about what her GFs were saying and it seems like she let them make her decisions for her. Not bothered and i told her so, if shes going to be that "stressy" after a few dates then imagine the trouble you'd get later on
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2019
  5. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    well, been doing fine on the whole but admitley not particularly well today, I think a lot of that is that im feeling a bit under the whether like im coming down with something. When im not feeling so good physically it tends to peculate its way through to my mental state as well

    P wise i watch some, several times a week, but get the sessions short and sharp, i have no interest in spending time on Porn, just a quick "wham bamn thank you mam" session for release them in done. A also dont like watching more traditional porn anymore, just the cam girl i like where she pleasures herself. i dont spend money on it, though i have bought the occasional video of hers - the cost is so low and the purchases so infrequent that its not a problem for me. I see it more as a coping mechanism and im not too bothered, it'll see me through this dry patch ok :)

    I think now that my hosting work has dried up, there is no way for me to naturally meet women, so if its going to happen i need to make it happen, as im not interested in online dating right now that means most likely approaching in the day time, which i will do again when i feel up to it

    Today im going out in the evening for dinner, but don't feel like doing much else. Im normally happiest when im productive and busy and hitting the gym, so not doing much can be a bit of a recipe for disaster

    Started listening to hypnotherapy again, reading a new self help book - id like to get back in that positive mindset again - its much better :)
     
  6. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    negative post alert:

    damn ive slipped into the funk a bit

    I dont do well with not feeling well, as i cant do my usual stuff. Went for a run last night and woke up today feeling more ill, so ill lay off the exercise for a few more days. At least i have a days holiday today

    I think actually the situation with A is weighing me down a little. Ive given myself a few days, and if i still feel the same ill let her know that i dont want to continue. That would be the first time ive done that to her LOL! Its wither that or i wait for her to bail on me eventually, or just fizzle out. perhaps its best for me to evacuate myself from this sinking (already sunk?) ship first this time :) It just seems that as I allow this to continue my cynicism and general negativity increases

    So plan of action (stop moping start coping)

    1) give myself a couple of days, id i still feel the same way end it once and for all with A

    2) Daily hypnotherapy recordings (already started the last 3 days)

    3) Finish the new self help book, but into actions these ideas. There are a lot of overlaps with "feeling good" = So far the basic premise is that the body/mind/emotional response to something is the same, weather it be real or imagined - so therefore we have a lot more power over our thoughts/feelings mental state than imagined

    4) Once im well again hit the gym again - leeps me sane

    5) Women. Either I go back to being happy single again (which is definitely possible) Or i get proactive and make it happen. There isn'y much of a go between. If i have real women in my life that i enjoy sex with P use naturally falls away )well at least to start with lol) Approaching in the day is great - i need to do solo sessions as its much harder without mates there to egg you on

    6) Carry on with music. I have a new teacher, loads to learn - in fact there are several lifetimes worth of stuff to learn

    7) Work. Try and be more positive about work. At the end of the day its a cool job and pays the bills. maybe i can look into transferring again or some kind of change

    here is a clip of our first track if anybody is interested:

    https://clyp.it/hubsp1on
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2019
  7. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Active Member

    I hope you’re on the up again soon mate. Yeah, get out there again and start talking to some girls again. Don’t pressure yourself too much but just enjoy the natural highs. You’re socially very competent, calm and also very good looking guy. Like we said the other night, the grass is always greener, but however sometimes we crave that more tasty grass for a good reason.

    Remember though p and too much isolation demotivate us, so sometimes we need to give ourselves that little push.
     
  8. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    One good day is all you need to get going. The building up gives confidence, little by little.

     

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