thanks guys. day 2. Started horribly but by the end of the day i felt more human again. little "clash" with boss at end but nothing too bad. Got in the gym, was very difficult to shake of the lethargy. Last night i started to M in shower but promptly stopped. time to practise piano before bed now perhaps i spend too much time alone on my days off too... its a unique position for me to actually choose to not be pursuing any women... grateful for: my job and the guys at work. Sometimes they cheer me up edit: @Fry2 you know what, i think i may be an addict - never really thought that until know because ive always been half decent at controlling the P - but its more than just the P... Also i may not be as "pure" an introvert as i always suspected, because the enegry from other people, their positivity and humour really helps me overcome that horrible bleakness and depression - and by definition this is an extroverted trait. don't know if that works the same for you?