Fetish has taken over life

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Caleb22, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. Caleb22

    Caleb22 New Member

    I have a unique issue that I have not been able to come up with answers, and its effing up my life. Im 30 now, but Since I was 3 or 4 I have had a spanking fetish. I got spanked as a kid, and hated the real thing....alot. why my fantasy separated from reality I dont know But at night, I started laying on my stomach imagining I was getting spanked. One night at about 5 yrs old, I was doing this when my penis rubbed on the bed. What I now know was a dry orgasm happend, and since that day, I've been effed up. I would imagine I was about to be spanked while rubbing on the bed, and timed the "first spank" and cry with the orgasm. As a kid, it didnt really harm me, because I hated real spankings and I was prepubescent. However, as an adult, it couldnt be worse. First issue is ANY kind of real or real scenario spanking gets me off. That means, to my horror, that whether kid or adult, doesnt matter. While I am not attracted in the least to kids, soon as a parent mentions spanking, I'm pitching a tent. I write this to give you background on the biggest.problem of all....I can no longer get hard for a naked women or sex. Foreplay I stay soft, porn I stay soft. Anything spanking and I'm about to burst. I had brain damage from a car accident, so my girl thinks this is why I cant get hard. However, I want kids, a family, a wife, and this is not going to happen if I cant fix this. HELP
     
  2. johanBE82

    johanBE82 New Member

    maybe soft bdsm is a way to get turned on, and have sex with your girl directly after it.
    i'm not familiar with people that do bdsm, but i guess those people can help you maybe more.
    you can't change the past, and i can't say this is al related to your past.
    my first orgasm was created almost the same way as you, i was a bit older,
    and it wasn't a dry one, and the build up to it was entirely dfifferent.
     
  3. Caleb22

    Caleb22 New Member

    I dont want to do bdsm or feed this fetish period. It's been so long that I think if I feed it in anyway, normal sex life is out of reach
     
  4. forlorn

    forlorn Active Member

    I can relate to this albeit with other fetishes. I think we have to come to terms with it on some level i.e. accept the fact that it turns you on. People have all sorts of kinks, it doesn't make you defective. It's part of who you are but don't let it define you as a person. I'm not saying you should entirely suppress these thoughts, you should acknowledge them but try not to dwell on them. Instead focus on building a better life for yourself. Avoid porn, masturbation (and fantasy) for as long as you can to give your body / brain time to recover. The less you feed this fetish the less power it will have over you, at least that's what I think.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.

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