femdom addiction & rebooting

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Yuri, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. Yuri

    Yuri New Member

    Hello guys,
    I am 28 & I have decided lately that i need to make a reboot seriously because I am freaking out. The reason I started to realize that 2 ears of intense femdom activity might have affected me is that in a couple of real encounters with escort girls I didn't get a full erection when they stopped being dominant. I mean I had an erection but after a while it will soften a bit & only get harder when they start to dominate me or get rough. those nights I orgarsmed a day before so maybe its not very bad but I am worried & decided to attempt a reboot.

    Background: I had a painful breakup with my ex-fiance 3 years ago & afterwards I started exploring the femdom scene in real(going to prodommes- for 4 times within a year), I then stopped & had a kinky relationship with a woman for one year then we quit the kinky things & I also tried a sex therapist online who used to dominate me. I did phone sex domination for a while on niteflirt & I feel I crave it when I am bored or alone. I don't fap much to femdom porn but def to femdom memories & fantasies & I am worried this has conditioned me strongly so I wonder if anybody thought about sex therapists help or sex surrogates?

    I eard sex surrogates can help you recondition your brain, does anybody have experience with them? the other option is just to attempt a long reboot & stick with it.

    Just a note: the sex therapist I worked with put me on a chastity honor system like not touching myself & attempting prostate massage & the vagina sex toy in an attempt to change the masturbation technique & try new feelings but we didn't continue fr that long- only 3 weeks or so), I also wonder if her strategy was scientific or helpful in any way.

    If somebody is battling consequences of femdom, please tell me your advice.

    Thanks guys
    Yuri
     
  2. iwanttochange

    iwanttochange New Member

    I dont want to talk about myself too much because i don't believe in victim stories ,I dont like sounding weak and I do not like victim stories, I hate victim stories . All I can say is that im 26 and I have been addicted to femdom all my life .I have been failing for 10 years, everyday I try to stop and everyday I fail . I will say I have made faults in my treatment process because im always failing . I believe if i change my treatment processes I will free myself from this disease


    Let me repeat this one more time , EVERYDAY IM TRYING TO STOP BUT EVERYDAY IM FAILING.


    So I have to continue to change my methods of treatment .

    1)Stop watching REGULAR movies ,shows, or any website that shows sexy women .
    2)adopt a strict diet where im not eating sweets or carbs at night
    3)stop getting angry
    4)stop feeling fear
    5)worry less
    6)stop being negative to the other person and forgive them
    7)practice qigong and meditation right after work
    8)every time the urge comes I will practice some qi qong and maybe dance in order to change my energy

    It sounds ridiculous but its not more ridiculous than wasting my life knowing i could be more than what I already am .
     
  3. iwanttochange

    iwanttochange New Member

    Im trying to find more methods i can use , I allready know the theories I have been living with theory for many years and Im sick of theory , I need methods

    PLEASE!!!!!!
     
  4. Firstly welcome mate and I wish you good luck on your reboot.

    What I take away from your post is that your condition quite likely isn't too severe in sense of ED given you have plenty of real sexual experience prior to the issue is probably just mainly the intense conditioning of the last couple years. That being said if it's been intense indulgence to femdom and such the process could probably increase the longer it goes on so personally I would cut it out now even if it's difficult to do so.

    I don't really know about sex surrogates but I would just reboot if I were you. My guess is with a clean reboot you could possibly be the sort who corrects faster. I would just avoid all forms of O (porn, fantasy or even with a partner) for a bit. How long is anyones guess as there's no magic number. Ultimately you just have to abstain and give your brain time to rest and heal then try it out again. At a guess if you manage to totally abstain and keep your mind away from femdom for a couple months it should drastically reduce the dependence on this though it is going to be important on making that clean break as much as possible. I am just speaking from personal experience that it's on my mind hardly at all anymore after 90 days except maybe some old flickers on hangover days where the brain really wants that dopamine hit and porn/femdom was where it would get it in such situation for over a decade. Still if it's the case with me who was involved with online femdom indulgence for over 15 years I suspect you should adapt a bit quicker though of course no guarantees.

    I'll leave my post there if you have anything more specific you wish to ask feel free I'll do my best to offer suggestions just bear in mind I can't promise anything yet as I'm still recovering and not a success case yet so most of my thoughts and theories are just that from my readings of other peoples problems and successes.

    Whatever you do stay positive and focused and I'm sure you'll get past this!
     
  5. anewme

    anewme Member

    Hey going to succeed I was just wondering how you are feeling after your 90 days?
     
  6. Rather than me posting that here or again I'll just direct you to my journal as I did a small update there yesterday. There's not heaps to report but I'm one of the people that is more likely to need a long healing process due to the severity of my indulgence. Take a look and I'll be happy to answer any further questions you may have should there be any.

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=18633.0
     
  7. Yuri

    Yuri New Member

    Thanks man, I will try with the reboot then, main issue for me actually is not to act out with escort girls or online domination more than with porn. Wish me luck, & keep the good work. If I ever get new insight about surrogates I will post my experience.
     
  8. Yuri

    Yuri New Member

    Hey Man, you can stop! may I ask if you are talking about porn only or real experience in a relationship? or prodommes?
     
  9. Mate this sounds more like me than anyone else I've encountered. I was't a porn as in videos addict. I was involved primarily in online domination but the issue is the same in that you condition yourself to this for your source of pleasure - the process of hunting for it, indulging in it from a computer screen or phone it all works the same in my opinion by spiking dopamine levels. I don't hate my fetish as such and if it still exists when I'm rebooted in full so be it. The problem for me is that I can't get hard for vanilla sex due to conditioning myself over the years. Bottom line is in future if its not real then I'm not partaking, well that is the

    The advice I would offer you based on a lot of reading and learning from others is that you should do your absolute best to avoid the lot for a period as your dopamine receptors need to heal. I used to think it impossible to avoid online domination for a week now I'm 90 days in and rarely even get an urge to go chasing that so it does get easier if you can resist for a good period.

    Good luck to you I bet if you really go after this you will be able to achieve it and get a much quicker fix than someone like myself!
     
  10. iwanttochange

    iwanttochange New Member

    IM talking about porn , but perverted porn will transfer into life, Whatever i saw on screen is what I wanted women to do with me , so what ever i fantasized is what i wanted to happen to me in real life,
    I dont have any experience with prodommes , and thank god I haven't gone with prodommes ,
     
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Femdom is just a fetish, it's an addiction like all others. Staying clean of all PMO plus physical exercise and meditation daily will heal your brain completely. However, it's NOT going to be a breeze.
     
  12. Yuri

    Yuri New Member

    Let me tell you my own opinion (it doesn't have to hold true for all people): trying out prodommes made me realize how bullshit the whole inflated fantasy in femdom porn is. I didn't overindulge in it (I only went 4 times during a course of a year in 2011) and I have decided I wont ever repeat it because its fuckin silly- its staged & lack any emotional factor , its like acting & ur the customer, one statement that I havent understood before was: Fantasy is much more powerful than reality! & afterwards (after a real life experience prodommes & a kinky relationship (play partners) I couldn't agree more. I really don't know what advice I can give you, but if you are that strongly conditioned to porn only you are basically re-enforcing the porn monster over & over everyday, maybe you need to deflate it by having a couple of real life encounters just to realize its not that magnificent out of reality sub space paradise! just my opinion!
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Member

    I have a thread in my profile for getting rid of femdom addiction.
     

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