"Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 24y/o - Back after a long hiatus!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by fugu, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Just watched that interview! It was great. :D

    DUDE. I've been super in to his old stuff, too. Thank Me Later has been my go-to jam album right now. The song "Thank Me Now"...that's where it is at for me.

    I'm dying to get to an OVO fest. Nothing I want more!
     
  2. JG55

    JG55 Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Just read your big post on pg 22, Fugu. What gold!

    I relate to almost 100%.

    "My penis during this long flatline - completely dead. MUCH smaller than it is now, all the time. I can only remember one instance of morning wood in that five month period, too. I hooked up with lots of girls (just making out), and would always kind of call it off before it got too far and would find another girl. In total, probably made out with 8-10 girls during that 5-6 month flatline time but it was all very hallow feeling and I remember feeling pretty stuck. I couldn't emotionally connect with any girls (who knows for what reason), and I'd have dark days"

    I've been doing the exact same thing with girls. I'll get close enough to make out and then call it off. Rinse, repeat. It's rather draining!

    I had a solid reboot from August-Febuary, then a month or two of relapses. I know it's not a linear process but I fear it'll take me another few months to heal up. I started young.

    Anxiety has also been a struggle. In my last reboot I didn't realize it was being caused by the reboot. Meditation helps for sure.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing everything. It's very helpful.
     
  3. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Hey man, we sound very similar. Us young guys with extensive porn histories have it the hardest in these reboots and I totally empathize! You're doing the right thing, though. Just keep putting yourself out there with girls and eventually you will find someone you feel comfortable enough to confide in and (hopefully) make a rewiring partner.

    I can absolutely relate about the anxiety, too! I knew mine was from the reboot because I have never had a panic attack before in my life....until 20 days after I quit porn. I had a lot of them since then, too, and my general anxiety was higher for the first 9-12 months of my reboot. Shout out to the fact I don't get panic attacks these days (thank god).

    Keep grinding mah dude! There are LOTS of ups and downs in this process, but remember that everyday without porn is a step in the right direction.
     
  4. adamski123

    adamski123 New Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Interesting about the anxiety levels you mention, mine were so high in my initial first few months of rebooting, and I feel they're finally dropping now. It's been 9 months since I decided to quit porn, and my relapses have been small (you could count them on one hand) so am looking forward to being quite anxiety free. How did yours affect you? Were you socially anxious and therefore awkward around people?
     
  5. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    I definitely had anxiety around people sometimes but I was never too awkward. That anxiety has improved a ton. My biggest form of anxiety was just a powerful form of generalized anxiety. I just would freak out about EVERYTHING. That's way better too. Month by month it gets even better!

    Keep hanging in there man! I find the strongest improvements come from no orgasm streaks.
     
  6. HEpennypacker

    HEpennypacker New Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Hey man, I've been looking through your journal, looks of good info here and good to see all the progress you made.

    I had a question though for you... you mentioned hooking up with girls while in a flatline... would you say it was harder to get an erection during a flatline than if you weren't doing no-PMO at all? I know that's kind of a hard question to answer.

    Before starting no-PMO I could get an erection, it just took way more effort than it should have, do you think when I enter a flatline I might not be able to anymore? Wondering about this because I have a girlfriend and I'm worried about what would happen if I'm in a flatline for months at a time.
     
  7. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Hmmm, that's a really interesting question. In the thick of my porn addiction I had a longtime girlfriend, and it was definitely easier to get an erection with her that it was for the majority of my reboot. That has only probably changed very recently. The erections I had were still really really bad in comparison to "normal" ones, but I think they were marginally better and more consistent. I feel like part of this was because I started dating her when I didn't have full blown ED or pornography addiction yet so there was a little brain "wiring" to her.

    Since I started porn at the tender age of 11, quitting porn and orgasming totally deconstructed everything I knew about sexuality, likely making it much harder to get erections with normal women. Us pornography addicts wired the sexual parts of our brain to compulsions, instant pleasure, novelty, and the high of an orgasm...all things that normal sex is not about at all. I feel like in the middle of our pornography addictions we can still project those things onto the women we are seeing to still (kind of) have moderately decent sex.

    Just my two cents! My experiences definitely mirrors yours.
     
  8. ireboot

    ireboot Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    100% agreed. When I used to watch porn, I would still get erections with girls, just not all the time. After I went on the no PMO streak, Im in a deeper flatline and I get no erections or urges.

    Fugu, great progress man. I've read your journal and my experience overall is very similar to yours. Every time I orgasm with a girl I end up in a flatline for a long time. Not watching porn and not masturbating is easy now. Not too many urges and easy to control.
     
  9. Mr J

    Mr J Guest

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    I get this. In the past I've been extra BDSM-Y and calling a girl I was fucking a sl*t in my head and stuff just spike novelty and arouse myself more in-line with my addiction now I think about it. It's very tempting to do this in the moment.
     
  10. Original Jeff

    Original Jeff Don't settle for a quick-fix; unravel the layers.

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    I definitely get this too. When I was with my ex it was really hard not to act out porn fantasies and stuff to get more turned on. It didn't help that she was a porn addict too!
     
  11. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Hey everyone! Apeman, Jeff and I started a radio show that you all should definitely check out! There will be 8 episodes or more, special guests, and various topics related to porn addiction, PIED, rebooting, rewiring, and life. The goal of the radio show is to humanize pornography addiction and PIED - most of us are behind a screen typing our feelings and problems on this website...but talking and listening to others is a different and more personal way to overcome our struggles and problems.

    Give it a listen and let any of us know if you want to be a special guest!

    Here is the page!

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=21259.0
     
  12. Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Just read your story, well at least 80-90% of it. You're a real winner, Fugu. The biggest takeaway for me was that this is going to take a LOT of time. Possibly even a year or more.
     
  13. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    That's awesome to hear man! I'm glad you got something out of it :D

    Yeah not very many rebooters will be like me and have a long reboot, but some of us will be. It's important to remember that no matter how long your reboot is the changes made are a lifestyle and it's helpful not to worry about anything else like progress or your erections - they will come in time! Obviously it's easier said than done. The first 4-5 months of my reboot I always was worrying about my progress or my erections, but the day I started focusing on my LIFE instead of my erections and my reboot was insanely freeing!

    Thanks for all the kind words man. Have you made your journal yet? If so, point me in that direction!
     
  14. JediMindTricks

    JediMindTricks 23 y/o with a mission!

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Just listened to the podcast. Great stuff! I really liked the way you guys talked casually and it felt like a group of friends talking about something normal. I'm looking forward to hear the next one. I guess this is what you were trying to organise when you messaged about getting a skype group together?

    You are an inspiration mate. I can't relate so much to the problems you're having right now because they are way ahead of the ones I have, but they are giving me a good idea of what I can expect. Your journal is one of my favourites though, reading your whole journal has inspired me a lot. You are the miner who is making the tunnels so that others can walk through more easily :)

    Keep mining 8)
     
  15. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Gee, you're too kind to me. :) But that's great to hear man, I'm really glad you liked! Yeah the Skype group was kind of a preliminary idea, but then I thought that recording our discussions with loose topics might be beneficial and could maybe even fill a void in content that I thought the porn addiction community was missing! I'm happy you can find some future value out of it, too, and I'm sure the problems I'm experiencing will present themselves to you very soon!
     
  16. Tongya Kupana

    Tongya Kupana New Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Fugu!1.5 years Jesus Christ :eek: :)

    I'm back on the journey as well, hardmode.
     
  17. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Glad to hear you're back Tongya! Keep it going my friend, I always loved your journal. The analytical side of your journal (stats and stuff) was awesome to read. Cool to see stuff quantified like that!
     
  18. Tongya Kupana

    Tongya Kupana New Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Just listened to your radioshow. Pretty nice stuff.

    You know, it's funny how it took me over a year of being on and off in no-PMO / no-MO to eventually come back to square one, realizing that this has probably been the way to go this whole time.

    It's that point of thought that makes you unstoppable, like I just plowed yesterday through urges that I would succumb to if I wasn't in this state of mind. It felt like a piece of cake. Plus, lessons like "not even once" that I learned (one relapse caused me to waste half a year (that relapse at the end of my first journal)) will keep me going strong.

    The three mental mantras that I follow now religiously are:

    1. Don't ever doubt your decision to do this - I got this from "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr (I don't smoke by the way, but I was intrigued by the reviews the book has gotten in beating that addiction). When you weigh the pro's and con's, it becomes clear whether it is the correct decision or not. Over the 1.5 year period since discovering no-PMO / no-MO, I definitely came to the conclusion that it is the correct decision. And that's about it. Now you just do it.

    2. Every time you have a big urge, you have reached a new level - now I don't know whether this is scientifically true or not, but I compare it to working out. When do you progress the most? At that last rep when you're shaking and sweating profusely. Embrace that minute / hour when the seemingly uncontrollable urge comes - it is that time of promotion to the next level. You just have to jump through the hoop.

    3. A more practical one - all you really have to do is just not touch it - this is that bottleneck technique that makes it easy. It's like when you turn a screw, it's much easier with a wrench. The energy there is very focused; that's why the wrench works. This mantra really focuses your energy on one thing. All you ever have to do is just keep your hands where they need to be.

    How do you feel about those? Should I add something else to those?
     
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    Every time you beat a big craving wave you're really training your brain! Great observation, so true!
     
  20. JG55

    JG55 Member

    Re: "Feelin' Good, Livin' Betta" - 23y/o - huge improvements!

    @Tongya I find those 3 fantastic. Especially 1 and 2.
     

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