Farewell happy place

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Living, Jan 31, 2018.

  1. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Day 21: still doing well. Had a good talk with a friend about looking for opportunities in different fields and issues in my current job. He mentioned something I hadn't really realized so far. I want to do a job I find more meaningful than what I did last year and one thing that comes to mind all the time is something to do with environment. I have always been interested in ecology and landscape, so that would be something I find both interesting and meaningful. We were discussing this and I was like "I would really like that, but I don't think I have the right resumé for that." But then he said that with the current issues with the environment and climate change, opportunities will grow. And ofcourse he has a point there. So that's something I'm going to look into.

    Reason why I am doing this:
    -Because I want to feel good about myself again.

    Three good things:
    -Every year the bookstores in my country have this really good deal where they print a 'classic' childrens book in an affordable edition which you can then either buy or donate to people with little money for 2 euro's. I really love the idea. I think reading is so important to children. And that's not just about learning language skills, but also sparking the imagination. Ofcourse I sometimes damn my vivid imagination, but I think it also helps me a lot to deal with problems. Both practical problems as well as scientific problems. So I bought 5 books and donated them:)
    -I went to an exhibition on a dutch painter, Pieter de Hoogh, who was a contemperary of Vermeer. They lived in the same city and influenced each other a lot. I really like his work because most of paintings are outside (and I always like that) and give a really good view of life in the 17th century. I went there with one of my best friends and it was a great afternoon:)
    -Yesterday the Netherlands were hit by a storm with a name for the first time ever. I wasn't that worried about it, but everybody was in complete turmoil. When the storm actually happened I was kinda dissappointed because it wasn't really that bad. I was nice taking a walk though. The wind that tried to push me around, it made both me and the world around me so much more alive.
    -Luke- and Pete McVries like this.
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Victory comes from finding opportunities in problems. (Sun Tzu)

    I also think that in the future "the right resumé" will be less important and "thinking outside the box" will be of more significance.

    That's a great idea!
    Living likes this.
  3. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Day 23: doing fine. A little bit stressed, because I want to finish something that I know I'm not going to finish in time. Since that's not really my fault, I try to accept that and just do my best to finish it as soon as possible. That's something I actually find hard. I have always been a lot harder on myself than I am on others. It is something I do hope to change, because it is not really helping me:)

    @-Luke-: I totally agree with the Sun Tzu quote. There are always different ways to view events, why always take the negative ones?:)

    Reason why I am doing this:
    -Because sometimes just a bit of effort can make a huge difference. Sometimes I struggle with myself and with porn a lot, but sometimes (like right now) things just click and things become so much easier in a matter of days. It would be nice to know how and when these things click, but knowing that a bit of effort can make so much difference is worth putting in the effort anyway. It might not always work the same way, but it's still worth it. I think that talking about certain issues with my girlfriend and try to positively change my life has really made a difference. I don't think I ever get a serious depression, but when you lose hope and you no longer understand what you are fighting for it becomes pretty hard to reboot.

    Three good things:
    -I am really pleased with my sprouts and especially the depuy lentils. They taste great and it is a an easy to make addition for your daily vegetables. After soaking for a couple of hours I just put them in my sprouting station and spray some water over them in the morning and the evening. After three or four days they have sprouted enough. You can eat them like that, but I like steaming them for a couple of minutes, which really adds to the taste. I love adding them to a sandwich with hummus or peanutbutter and sambal. It's something that you can grow all year through and it is pretty afforable. I buy my dried lentils at 3.49 E for 500 gram. After soaking they at least double in weight and while sprouting they gain weight too. Let's say you get 2000 gram out of the bag. I think with the great flavour and the health benefits that's well worth it:)
    -Had to go to the dentist yesterday and he told me that I really took great care of my teeth. That hasn't always been the case and I don't have the best teeth in the world, so that was great to hear!
    -I had to estimate my extra hours for the project I'm working on. Now there are two things here: the money I earn and the time I spend. Since I have a pretty high hourly wage I was actually okay with getting paid less hours than I did put in. I made an estimation of the hours, but considering the money I would get I would actually be okay with a third of that (which my GF strongly disagreed with:)). My goal was to get to two thirds. So I mailed my contact and he had some comments, but he was actually okay with 90% of the hours, which is a lot more than I hoped for:) He has to discuss this with his supervisor, but it would be awesome!
  4. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Good thing number four:

    I thought about my struggles the last months or so and somehow the song 'We all try' by Frank Ocean popped in my head. I first heard Frank Ocean on a mixtape with the song 'Swim good'. Both musically and lyrically that was something I hadn't heard in modern day RnB in a long while. It was dark, but it was also very human. It were the things that we all feel sometimes, but too often try to keep from the surface. It got me interested and I got his Nostalgia, Ultra mixtape a few days later. I love the album, but particularly this song 'We all try'. It's about honesty, it's about not being perfect, it's about people having different perspectives and it's about doubts and struggles.

    To me this song is not about faith and belief in a sense of religion, but about having hope. In this society that becomes more and more complex it's sometimes hard not to lose faith. When I look at this board often I see how we all struggle in our own ways. Some struggle in ways that are similar to mine and some struggle in ways that I find really hard to understand. And I do try to understand those struggles, but it's just something I can't always relate to. But I know that we all try in our ways. We try to get by in this society and we try to help others getting by. But to do so you will have to keep faith in something, you have to have hope that one day things will get better. And sometimes it is hard to keep that faith, but it is something we do have to hold on to. You must believe in something. Therefore:

  5. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Day 24: still doing fine:) I sometimes consider porn in the morning, but nothing really serious.

    Reason why I am doing this:
    -I want to become more like the man I would like to be:)

    Three good things:
    -I have complained a few times about the quality of my meditations. Since I have been putting more effort into it and also being more mindful about life in general, my meditations have become so much better. I am a lot more aware of things like bodyscans and drift of a whole less. It starts feeling good again after I sat down for 20 minutes. I haven't felt like that after a meditation in a long while:)
    -Yesterday I did a scan of my garden and saw the first crocuses starting to bloom. It won't be long before the first daffodils will bloom again. I know it's still winter, but spring really is my favorite season:)
    -Yesterday I spend most of the evening reading. I really enjoyed that. Although I do read on a daily base, I really take an entire evening just for reading more often.
  6. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Day 25: my sleep hasn't been optimal for a few days and I've been having some headaches. Not sure what brought this on, but when my new project starts this monday I think they will be gone.

    Reason why I am doing this:
    -Because every now and then you get that glimpse of how wonderful life could be when you put in the effort. That's all worth it:)

    Three good things:
    -I did it. Finally! @Pete McVries: I've played Wingspan:) How awesome is that game. I think this is one of the most fun boardgames I've played in long while. There is just soooo much you can do and it's all fun:) Good thing is also that my GF actually seemed to enjoy it because it's not really all that competitive.
    -Yesterday my GF had a hard time with her thesis and I really did my best to cheer her up and help her. That really worked and she handed in some work yesterday she thought she would hand in today. I told how I was really proud of her and that we should celebrate it. We did, ordered Thai and just had a nice evening. When we went to bed she said she was really happy that I was there for her that night. And that's what this is about:)
    -I had the first appointment with my therapist today. I'm starting a treatment called COMET (Competitive Memory Training) which is an CBT that really focusses on self value. Hope this will be beneficial. It was a good first session and I think the therapist is assertive enough to deal with me:)
    Pete McVries likes this.
  7. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it's a lovely game and I need to play it again too. At the moment, I'm working through my pile of unplayed games with my partner, so we are solely playing games that are new to us until every game that plays decently with two players has been played. So Wingspan will have to wait a bit :D
    Living likes this.
  8. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Day 34: still doing fine, just noticed a bit of urges this morning, but that can always happen. The project I'm working on at the moment is really cool and that keeps me more than busy during the week. I don't expect any problems for at least the next couple of weeks.

    Reason why I am doing this:
    -Because it is just such a big difference when I do feel good about myself.

    Three good things:
    -Current project is awesome, probably the best project in 7 or 8 years. So that's really cool. Since projects like these are kinda rare where I live, it does confirm my believe that I should move.
    -Combining the work I'm doing right now and meditations have always been pretty hard, but up til now I have been doing really well. Habitica also helps me with that and other small things I find important, but don't always make the time for.
    -I've stopped following the news again. I find it important, but it doesn't really change anything and often makes me feel bad. There are enough things that make me feel better than that.

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