Facebook,twitter and other social media during reboot

Discussion in 'Internet Addiction' started by kapsblock, Jul 22, 2017.

  1. kapsblock

    kapsblock New Member

    I am 27 year old virgin male having 15 years of porn history and have PIED and porn addiction. These are my previous threads -

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/...after-30-days-disappointed.37175/#post-576098

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/...life-cant-concentrate-help.36964/#post-574345

    I have been rebooting since more than 90 days now, but I am going through a phase which I don't understand. I have been almost completely free from PMO during this time(other then surfing once or twice craiglist and reddit for sexual ads) and I have had nightfalls during this time. I have stopped porn, but have continued regularly on facebook, twitter etc. Although it has been advised to be completely free from social media, but in the absence of any social life I do not have any other option. which means I have been feeding my brain a virtual simulation which is not porn but a mild filler for porn. Could you guys let me know if I should completely avoid social media?(facebook , twitter etc)
     
  2. Catharsis

    Catharsis Active Member

    Quit all social media for two weeks.
    Treat it as an experiment.
     
  3. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    I dunno what your goals are. Why do you want us to tell you what to do?
     
  4. jonnywishbone

    jonnywishbone New Member

    It definitely has a considerable effect for me. I don't do PMO these days, but I end up binging on twitter, YT etc. It really affects my motivation, so I assume its having an effect on dopamine. I watch a lot of political stuff, and I find the constant and repeated dopamine hit affects me so much that it makes even porn seem uninteresting. Everything in life starts to feel numb, boring and pointless.
     
    positivef likes this.
  5. FUBB

    FUBB Member

    It depends what you see there (and search for). If you search for dodgy content of the scantily clothed or provocatively dressed, then it is a porn substitute. If you are just keeping in touch with your mates, it's fine.
     
  6. Pearl Gourami

    Pearl Gourami Member

    How did any of you overcome Whatsapp and Youtube addiction? Would love to hear some success stories!
     
  7. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Well-Known Member

    @Pearl Gourami The idea of dopamine fasting is still pseudoscience, so abstaining really won't fix anything. You're just trading one addiction for another and it's something most addicts who don't get real help have happen to them. Get to the source of the problem -- why you developed addictions in the first place, with the help of a professional.
     
  8. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Pearl, I wouldn't describe that I had a Youtube addiction, but it definitely had addictive tendencies where I could procrastinate on the platform. I found a google chrome extension called Stayfocused has been very helpful. It allows me to put websites like Youtube on a timer so that, when the time is up, I can't change the settings for the rest of the day. It has drastically reduced the amount of time I spend on that website, as well as other websites like Facebook. I highly recommend it.
     
  9. Pearl Gourami

    Pearl Gourami Member

    Is there something similar for Safari? Not something that blocks but something that reminds you of the time?
     
  10. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I have heard that there is a piece of software called freedom put together by the same developer behind Stayfocused that apparently works on all devices, I assume that this includes Safari. However, there is a subscription charge for this. I don't know whether are any free apps available that work. I am a PC user, so the software available for a Mac is something that I am not very knowledgeable of.
     
  11. Shield of Valoran

    Shield of Valoran New Member

    I think what Joshua Shea says is incredibly useful. You're probably using social media as a replacement for something else. Personally, meditation, or becoming more cognizant of your thoughts, has really helped me understand my behaviours. Using your social media is just a response. I stopped using Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook when I realized I was keeping tabs on my friends and what they were doing without me. That last bit, without me, is important.

    Underlying my use of social media was this deep need to connect with people, but unsure how. Honestly, I think one of my most fundamental needs as a person is to feel 'chosen'. This is because I simply don't choose myself because I don't always see my own worth, so I replace it with these unsustainable feelings that people can give me. Social media became my own personal accounting for levels of worthiness. 'Is this friend having more fun without me?' was what that feeling ask. It's a false narrative.

    I overcame it a few ways, and now have a pretty good relationship with social media:
    I post only when I am proud of myself, want to share something because it brought me a lot of joy, or some variant of these things.
    I don't check other people's stories. Why not just ask them when I see them next?
    I message people when I truly want to message them. I'm naturally inclined to think about people, because I deeply care about everyone in my life, so I reach out actively, and start a conversation that way or organize coffee. In that same regard, I message back when people message me. I used to open the app and check for people who were last online (and then ask why they weren't messaging me!) and I don't do that anymore.

    Of course, this is a beast you attack on all fronts. What I've just addressed is the inherent issue, but you also need to attack the symptoms, too. You probably will find that you will still look for something to replace the need which you're trying to fulfil.

    This is where you have to ask yourself a few questions about what you enjoy, which hopefully becomes an enlivening experience! Was there a hobby you used to do? Maybe go back to it? Or try something new. For me, I bought a guitar secondhand and started learning a few covers. I can finger pick a little better than I can when I started, and I'm really proud of that. Try and find healthy substitutes. Ask yourself what you're feeling when you feel the need to check your social media. Do you truly want to spend the next 5 minutes scrolling your timeline, or do you actually just feel a little bored? Is it the next dopamine hit from a clever meme you're after, or just to laugh at something? In which case, you could watch an episode of something on Netflix that brings you joy.

    Addiction needs you to ask some important questions about yourself, like what you enjoy, and what you truly want when urges arise.

    I hope this helped. You can do anything, I mean you literally made it to 90 days for PMO. That's so much hard work! Good luck.

    T.
     

Share This Page