esscalation to extreme femdom, help me :(

You ever seen that jap shit like yapoo or team-rinryu? sometimes low is too low, i dont think i could ever recover if i was like one of the slaves in those videos....if you don't know what im talking about...good for you! otherwise, id be fucked for life.

 

I kind of know what you mean... I hate knowing there are some out there beyond the pale.

But if someone is well enough to post on here... we can save them. And together we are stronger.

 

I agree, i contemplated it seriously at my lowest point, but decided not to. If i can help someone avoid suicide because of porn i would direct them to this site, many people here are willing to help.

I believe the further you go down the extreme path, the more ashamed you become and unsatisfied with life, and thats where the thought of suicide creeps in.

 

THIS IS CRAZY!

SO today I search for "How I quit femdom" for some support.

Right on the bottom on the first page of Google Search.

There is a mistress with a video saying " Can't quit femdom ......" It said. Please dont tell me your new years resolution is some pathetic attempt to give me up, to give up your femdom addiction.... boa boa boa"

I failed, I go check what she said, then there was a short gif showing that Mistress. You see guys? They know our problem, they know it's so hard to quit this femdom thing, so they even MAKE SUCH A VIDEO TO DISCOURAGE ME.

YES I failed, because I actually bypass openDNS just want to see what she said. BUT I didn't lose! YEAH, After reading that shit from the Mistress I stop. I told myself. The harder they want us to stop us from quitting FEMDOM, the more correct for us to quit femdom. They just want our money so they can keep living their life by abusing us.

We were born as a Real Man. OUR Parents DIDNt give us BIRTH just to be abused by these random Mistress, who normally has no good education. Our parents want us to have a fulfilling life, just like how our parents were, they had the great sex with true love and hence gave birth to us. Come on! Wake the fuck up. Together we can win this war. So today I manage to close the browser and tell myself to say NO

"AND PLEASE DO NOT SEARCH FOR THAT MISTRESS FOR THE VIDEO, DONT DO THIS!"

 

Hey I have an idea. Since there are several people with FEMDOM addictions. What do you guys think of a Skype conversation like every 2 to 3 days.

I heard that if helps rebooting if you have someone to talk with about this shit (According to Gary's Radio Show #2). In real life it's hard to discuss this FEMDOM thing to my friends.

SO what about we just have a Skype conversation regularly, and support each other?

 

I don't mind at all, im pretty sure im one of the worst when it comes to this femdom shit and ive seen great results from rebooting. I think if someone is either contemplating suicide, or at the end of their rope when it comes to this it helps to talk to someone whos been through it.

 

Well someone said on another thread on here to create a separate subforum or something for this particular issue? If everyone effected by this was in once place, would sort of make sense I suppose.

 

Steelarrow... don't worry about the video man. They haven't made that video to discourage you because they know how hard it is to quit.

It's just playing on a common femdom theme... remember when you used to watch those videos? One thing they mostly had in common was incredibly shit acting. If they were really genuinely evil and twisted they wouldn't need to do any acting. It's like how you might be submissive in those fantasies, but in real life you probably aren't. They are most likely the same.

 

Just a word of encourage re: efficacy of reboot on femdom/fetish stuff.

I'm on day 65 of soft mode (with a partner, have peeked at softcore - strictly no PMO/edging or fetish porn) AND, I can positively say that I've felt my mind and thought patterns move away from deviancy. I too was into some femdom, humiliation, sissy, tranny, etc. - and I strictly think and fantasize about hetero girls now.

Stay positive, stay clean and you'll get there yourself.

 

HEY MATE, thanks for sharing. But can you share more, like how you get into this, and how did the first sex with your current partner go with this femdom addiction. I am actually a bit torn between two thoughts.

Thought A: Femdom fantasy is okay and that maybe there are girls who like that. Someone said I should just find a girl who has this fantasy too.

Thought B: Femdom is against the norm. I should quit it, no girls on earth would love this for a MAN.

My up to now conclusion is that, well I start thinking that I just enjoy the "fetish" part of these Femdom thing, be it Foot, or headscissor or face sitting, these are just fetish, I have seen real femdom fantasy where MEN has no right at all for the whole day. I try to distinguish those Slave life as real fantasy where mine could be just some sort of fetish.

Anyway, I think it is important first to quit PMO because if I can't have normal sex, but only Femdom PMO, then that's fuck up, this will certainly limit my chance in getting a real woman in real life. Once I am okay with Normal sex, then any on top fetish could be an option to explore...

 

As someone who has managed to get this fetish under control, I have a good insight into the two thoughts you mentioned.

Thought A: Femdom fantasy is okay and that maybe there are girls who like that. Someone said I should just find a girl who has this fantasy too.

Thought B: Femdom is against the norm. I should quit it, no girls on earth would love this for a MAN.

It is "okay" if it is not much more than a harmless fantasy that you use to spice up your love life. There are girls who are into being in control in bed, and enjoy being the dominant partner in the bedroom. However, these girls are a minority. It is also important to remember that even the girls who enjoy being dominant in the bedroom still expect you to act "like a man" in the relationship, by displaying masculine qualities such as strength, assurance, and decision-making.

The femdom fetish is least harmful when utilized in a playful manner for the purposes of spicing up your love life. Very few women would be up for being the one in charge 24/7.

Getting into a heavy BDSM-based relationship is something I would strongly advise against.

 

Hey Journey to freedom, really thanks for your input. It totally aligns with what I thought initially, I just didn't have the courage to confirm what I think. But still, would you mind sharing a bit some tips on getting it under control?

The key take away so far is.



1. I would have limit myself in terms of chances for finding a partner if I can only be aroused by Femdom (porn) IT's 100% true that you have more options if you dont have to filter out women who are not into Femdom

2. Even if you can find a woman who is into femdom, but you still have to act like a MAN, be confident, the chance that woman who likes insecure guy, without confident is very very low. Sad thing is most hard core Femdom porn are training up my mind to be that insecure, no confident loser. So we have to quit.

3. I dont care anymore if This femdom Fetish is porn-equipped or porn-induced. what Matter the most is I am determined to quit this Femdom thing.



PS: You guys dont have to agree with me on all these, it's personal choice of life. But I think there are more goods in giving up Femdom (especially femdom porn because they are too unrealistic ) than not quitting it for me.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh man, mine were WAY worse

I consider myself a fairly normal human being. These are not normal behaviors.
So no, you are not alone in your recovery, no, you are not the worst case, (it gets even worse than ME TOO), and YES YOU WILL RECOVER. WE WILL BEAT THIS.

 

"So no, you are not alone in your recovery, no, you are not the worst case, (it gets even worse than ME TOO"

oh how true that statement is ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ and coincidentally it gets worse than me as well ....ive seen and done some dark...terrible things..




haha if OP can get on a streak i think he will be fine, his tastes are nowhere near extreme in my opinion.....majority of posters that get into femdom tend to veer towards the VERY extreme, its like majority of us femdom viewers have a low tolerance for boredom.

I've had sex with some girls who loved to dominate but only in the bedroom, outside they really looked to the man to take charge which thankfully i am naturally able to do. Porn has only really affected my "alpha male" mindset in the bedroom because of this bs femdom thing.

The good news is that once you get on a nice streak you start to think less and less about it and your brain stop bringing it to the forefront of your mind.

 

So for a little update,

Since making this post i have only watched femdom once, for a very brief peroid(like 30 minutes).
For me this is very good! I understand that reboots are not always perfect and the occasional slip up is bound to happen, but i do feel alot like my urges for the femdom porn are decresing!
I say for the "femdom porn" because i still sometimes have feeling of insecurity around beautiful women because i feel like i am supposed to worship them(ie like femdom porn) but i rhink this will all subside in time

I have started a complete 90 reboot from all types of porn( i have been trying to watch softcore porn for a few weeks because i wanted to see if it would make me more turned on by "normal sex")

Anyway ill try to keep you guys posted!
Oh and thanks to everbody who has posted on this thread, im glad to know im not alone lol
Anyway
Good luck everyone

 

Try to find ways to keep busy. One problem is the more you think about it, even if it is about avoiding it. Keeping busy in general worked for me to avoid. I usually relapse when i am bored. and doesnt have much to do. So this is an element you can use.

 

Read Patrick Carnes 'In The Shadow of the Net'
See if you can find an SAA group to attend, either live or online.

Recovery is possible but you need to learn to control your thoughts. There is a LOT of triggering material in this thread and in this forum in general which is absolute poison for anyone trying to get the sober mindset needed for recovery.

 

Have a similar issue about kicking disturbing fetish check out my thread http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=24200.msg405496

In the end, I think it comes down to enjoying life while simultaneously avoiding triggers until they have little power over you even in the darkest times.

 

Please tell me can reboot can help me to get rid of natural femdom fantasy which are with me from birth. Note sorry for my bad English

 

From my experience, fetish never disappears fully. However, after reboot I was just as interested in vanilla stuff and regular girls. So it is possible to have a normal functioning relationship after reboot with love and sex etc.