I haven't commented as much since I have more or less lost my way at the moment. It's great you are about 40 days clean of P. That's some amazing work right there man. You're definitely doing something that works and that's good right now. I wonder, can you at this point slowly start working on connecting more with others ? You talk of loneliness ? Maybe that is an issue to address gradually ? By staying off the P you are putting yourself in a better position to start tackling this element I think. You wrote, a few days ago, about reconnecting on the phone with an old buddy of yours. Stuff like that is good. Maybe you can keep foraging on such directions ? Keep it up man, you're doing good ! Also, I don't always reply on my own journal, cause I'm a bit overrun with issues right now, but I always appreciate your honest feedback in there.