Erectile dysfunction and long reboots

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Bilbo Swaggins, Mar 17, 2022.

  1. Keep in mind that brains, histories and circumstances vary. There is no magic bullet that works well for everyone. Pick and choose the tips that might serve you in retraining your brain. [...] A reboot is your laboratory. If your plan isn’t producing the results you want, adjust.” (Your Brain on Porn, p. 112)

    ********************************

    As I'm getting close to two years of activity in the reboot community, I find myself looking back on my journey and reflecting on different things related to recovery. I'd like to write them down, because I feel newcomers could benefit from these ideas and observations.

    For those of you who are not familiar with my background, here's a little summary:

    - 33 year-old male
    - I have had chronic ED, delayed ejaculation and pelvic pain since I became sexually active at age 17.
    - ED went from severe to moderate as I got older. As the years I went by, I PMO'ed less, because I had the intuition that it was probably what was causing my ED, and also because I've been living with my girlfriend – it's much more difficult to watch porn regularly when there's a woman in the house.
    - Been in a relationship for 10 years, and before that I was with another woman for 4 years. So I've been having sex on a regular basis for 14 years.

    In April 2020 I discovered Your Brain on Porn and Reboot Nation, then this forum. I immediately started rebooting and managed to get to 19 months without porn and masturbation, including two hard mode streaks (the longest being 100 days). My situation improved during these 19 months, but I unfortunately haven't fully recovered and still had ED after these 19 months. It was not severe anymore, though: I was what we could call functional – by that I mean I could generally have successful sex without ED pills, but it wouldn't be that fun, and I wouldn't been that hard or excited. If I took ED pills, then things would work really well, I could forget about my dick, take my time when changing positions, etc.

    After a year without porn, I started exploring other avenues: hormones, supplements, pelvic floor therapy, venous insufficiency (venous leak), performance anxiety and related psychological issues, etc. I spent a lot of time and money – and still do – to explore these avenues seriously, first of all because I wanted to rule out other possible causes of ED, and secondly because, well, I was starting to think that if I still wasn't cured, maybe porn wasn't the problem after all. That's where the trouble began...

    I saw many specialists and tried all sorts of things related to these other avenues I've mentioned. Most of these things didn't have any effect or didn't reveal any underlying or related issues, except for pelvic therapy, which helped moderately with pelvic pain.

    When I reached 18 months, I had become pretty bitter about the whole process, and especially about rebooting, which had not given the results I had expected. I decided to leave the forum, and to move on with my life despite having ED. I had to learn to live with it, and to stop expecting to fully recover one day.

    At the same time, my physical therapist gave me an exercise to do at home that would supposedly help me improve my ED: I had to masturbate every other day without reaching climax. It’s a sort of mindful masturbation that has many physical benefits – if you have issues with porn or masturbation, which you probably do if you’re reading this, don’t try that. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that I can’t have masturbation in my life, because it leads back to porn… At first, I did the exercise the good way, then one day I reached orgasm, then I did it again, and then I finally watched porn. I stupidly thought it wasn’t the end of the world, because after all porn wasn’t my problem… Since that time I have relapsed 6-7 times to porn, and experienced a sharp decline in my libido and erection quality.

    So, why am I writing this?

    I’m writing this for the guys who, just like me, have been rebooting for a long time without fully recovering from ED. When you get to 9-12 months of rebooting, that’s when you start receiving all sorts of advice… And if you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, that’s when you’ll start going off track.

    Out there in the real world, you’re used to being seen like a freak when you say you have ED… It’s just like with stuttering: how many times does a person who suffers from stuttering gets told “Take your time, breathe…” and other things like that? Most of the time, stuttering is a neurogenic disorder, so it’s pointless to say things like that – just like with PIED... Sex therapists, family doctors, urologists, hormones doctors and physical therapists generally don’t know about PIED, and won’t take you seriously when you mention it. They don’t necessarily say it’s okay to watch a lot of porn, but they ignore its real consequences. – My sex therapist once said that porn could “change one’s expectations about sex.” That’s a dramatic underestimation of the dangers of porn, if you’re asking me...

    Even in the rebooting community, you’ll hear things like that, especially if you haven’t recovered within a year. Well, that’s just not right.

    Time frames in rebooting accounts are all over the place because brains are different, and some men have stubborn porn-induced ED or DE.” (Your Brain on Porn, p. 152)

    If you’ve been rebooting for a while and still aren’t cured, it doesn’t mean that you have other issues. I sadly learned that the hard way. The first time I relapsed, it didn’t affect me. The second and third, a little bit. And so on. After my last relapse, my libido disappeared, and 100mg of Viagra was barely enough to get me going.

    That’s another pitfall long rebooters should beware of: thinking they are not making progress. The truth is, progress can be so slow that it’s unnoticeable. That’s what happened to me. Before my reboot, I haven’t had morning wood for more than 15 years. I started having some after 7-8 months, and in the same period I was able to go down from 100mg to 50mg of Viagra to have a great erection. My delayed ejaculation completely disappeared after a few months, etc.

    Well, guess what? Decline ain’t that slow. I can’t write a success story and say what worked for me, but I can write about what didn’t work, and what was actually harmful. 6 or 7 PMO sessions were enough to make my libido sink. Fortunately, it seems that 7-10 days of abstinence put me back in a more decent place, where I have SOME morning wood, and SOME libido. This little experience that I’ve “conducted” in the last months convinced me about one thing: watching porn is by far the thing that affects my libido the most. Porn gave me ED. I know that for most guys on the forum, it’s obvious, but as I said, one starts having doubts after a while if he doesn’t recover at the same pace others do.

    As for the other things I’ve tried, here’s a little summary:


    HORMONES

    Everywhere, you read that low testosterone can cause ED. In reality, the chances are very weak that your ED is caused by low T. I’ve seen only one case of ED caused by low T in the rebooting community, and the guy had extremely low T (7 nmol/L). Mine was 21.9 nmol/L, and my doctor still wanted to put me on testosterone replacement therapy. After making some research and spending some time on a TRT forum, I decided not to do it. Indeed, for most guys with ED or low libido on the forum I visited, TRT didn’t make a difference. Some experienced a temporary rise in libido when changing protocol – what we call a window – but generally the results were disappointing. That aligns with what Gary Wilson says on the subject.

    In all cases, it’s pretty easy to get your hormones evaluated. If you have a doubt, get it done to rule this out. If your results are in range, or just a little low, your ED most likely isn’t caused by low T.


    PELVIC PAIN

    Once again you’ll read everywhere that pelvic floor issues can cause ED. I’ve had pelvic pain for as long as I can remember (it’s chronic, but not severe), probably caused by a long career of edging to porn. I’ve worked with two physical therapists over the last year – the first one just wasn’t good, and the second one is good but is still struggling to help me. At first, he thought that physiotherapy could help me with ED and with the pelvic pain. After a few months without improvements regarding my libido, he said he didn’t think we could do anything about it together, but that we could still work on eliminating or reducing the pelvic pain (which makes a lot of sense). I’ve seen improvements regarding pelvic pain over the last months, but my relapses have had very negative effects on my pelvic health. Before going in my relapses cycle, I even had a few weeks without pain, but my relapses brought back the pain. I’m confident that physical therapy can help someone with chronic pelvic pain for many reasons, but I’m not so sure about its effects on libido. As confirmed by my physiotherapist, most guys with pelvic pain don’t have libido issues. They have pain DURING and AFTER sex (and sometimes they have intense pain), but they don’t have ED. Pelvic pain apparently doesn’t correlate with ED.

    You should still try to find a good physiotherapist if you suspect you have pelvic issues. There might be a possibility that treating your pelvic pain will have an impact on your libido, even if it doesn’t seem to be the case for most men, who knows. But good luck in finding a good physio.


    SUPPLEMENTS

    I’ve only tried a few supplements: Arginine, Pycnogenol, citrulline, maca… I took large doses – a little above the maximum recommended dose – and they didn’t have any noticeable effects on my libido. I took Vitamin D as well (I still do, because my lab results revealed very low levels last year), and while it seems to have beneficial effects on well-being and overall health, it didn’t affect my libido.


    VENOUS LEAK

    There’s nothing to say about this, except that I paid $350 for a penile Doppler that revealed no anomaly. Once again, you’re very unlikely to suffer from this. I’ve seen only one guy in the rebooting community who had that. Since it’s the easiest cause to rule out, you should do a penile Doppler if you have doubts. Just keep in mind that venous leak is not so common.


    SEX THERAPY

    This is where it gets crispy… For 9 years, my girlfriend told me my issues with sex were psychological. According to her – and to almost everyone – ED is caused by performance anxiety. Well, not in the case of guys who grew up on porn. In almost every success story, you will read that when a guy went back to sex after a long period of abstinence, he was nervous and certain that he wouldn’t be able to perform, and guess what? Everything worked just fine when the reboot had worked its magic, despite stress, fear and anxiety.

    You distinguish psychogenic ED from organic ED pretty easily. With psychogenic ED a man doesn’t lose morning wood, while he can lose it with organic ED. That’s what urologists and sex therapists learn in school, and traditionally how they distinguish psychogenic ED from organic ED. We could add that while organic ED is generally chronic, psychogenic ED often depends on the context. That’s why men with psychogenic ED don’t have trouble masturbating, for example, or only have ED with their wives, or only have ED with their mistresses. Often they started having ED during a difficult period in their lives. That’s what sex therapists are used to deal with, and as you can see, it has little to do with PIED, which is often described as a “sluggish brain response” to sexual situations in Your Brain on Porn. Sex therapists are generally not familiar with PIED: even if you actually have performance anxiety on top of PIED, you’re not going to recover just by “learning to relax in the bedroom”, “stop putting pressure on yourself”, “having realistic expectations” and all that stuff you learn in sex therapy.

    Some people may think that you have underlying issues. According to them, there should be a reason why you “coped” with the difficulties of life by resorting to porn, or that your erectile dysfunction is the result of psychological flaws. That doesn’t align with research and the work of Gary Wilson (Gabe Deem also talked about that a lot). Anxiety, depression and other symptoms are often the consequences of porn abuse, not the cause. Here’s an excerpt from Your Brain on Porn:

    Psychologists and psychiatrists are typically trained to assume that certain symptoms indicate underlying pathologies, and that problematic overuse of a substance or behaviour is therefore a result of these disorders. Few healthcare providers are advised to consider that internet overuse can exacerbate those symptoms, or even cause reversible symptoms, which merely resemble those of underlying disorders (such as social anxiety, depression, apathy, severe concentration problems or performance anxiety). They risk incorrectly diagnosing patients as having underlying mental disorders and prescribing medications for them that, at best, temporarily mask their symptoms.” (Your Brain on Porn, p. 26)

    And another one:

    Some suggest anxiety or depression could account for the sharp rise [of erectile dysfunction rates in young men], yet these are not clear causes of ED. For example, one study found that anxiety increased sexual interest in 21% of subjects, while decreasing it in 28%. As for depression and ED, studies suggest that ED leads to depression, rather than the reverse.” (Your Brain on Porn, p. 40)

    In short, don’t let anyone tell you that your problem is in your head. If you don’t have morning wood, if you’ve experienced ED chronically and with different partners, if you have a hard time masturbating (with or without porn), then you probably have PIED. This can still be true even after a 1-year, or 2-year reboot. Still not convinced? Watch porn 5, 10 or 20 times, and see what happens to your libido. And if you think that guys who don’t have a history of porn addiction start going limp in the bedroom just by watching porn 5, 10 or 20 times, then you don’t realize what’s going on in YOUR brain. Most of my friends watch porn, but don’t have libido problems. I have problems, and you probably have problems too. Don’t underestimate the effects of porn on YOUR brain, like I did. PIED is very real, it just doesn’t happen to everyone who watches porn.

    This leads me to another crispy point.


    PERSONAL GROWTH

    “Discovering your true self”, “Putting yourself first”, “Living in gratitude”, “Reconnecting with your true nature” and so on… There is a lot of pop psychology ideas and new age stuff in the rebooting community. Search for "NoFap" or "rebooting" on Google and see what comes out. We're still perceived very negatively out there, are there are reasons for that...

    While there’s often something true and real in self-help books, we can’t deny that most of the time they are an oversimplification of life, a lousy attempt to bring hope back to credulous and desperate people. You can’t get something, or achieve something in life just by wanting it; becoming aware of your unconscious patterns and behaviors won’t suddenly end the suffering in your life and make you know how to react in any situation; looking people in the eyes won’t magically turn you into a Casanova… and keeping porn out of your life won’t solve all your problems. Most likely, if you’re reading this it’s because you have issues with porn addiction, and it’s creating problems in your life. It could be anxiety, depression, lack of motivation, or ED. The desire to reduce and eliminate these symptoms are the reason why we want to quit porn. We don’t do it to find a magic cure to everything in our lives, we do it to be healthier. We do it because we learned the hard way that porn can extinguish our appetite for human contact, our motivation, our ambition – in a word, our thirst for life.

    Since I started rebooting, I finally got a job I like and almost doubled my salary; I started playing and recording music professionally; I improved my looks dramatically, on many levels (clothes, hair, posture, etc.)… I receive compliments ten times more often than before, it’s almost day and night compared to a few years ago. Having a more exciting life and having more “standing” are very nice things, but guess what, that didn’t make my ED go away. The equation is simple: if you have PIED, you need to stop watching porn to recover. As time without porn went by, I slowly got more and more functional in the bedroom, and it all went down the drain when I started watching porn again. I didn’t become a shitty, unhealthy person who can’t cope with life just by watching porn 6 or 7 times. Nope, I’m just a guy who watched way too much porn during adolescence, years before becoming sexually active, which has caused brain changes that led to ED and low desire with real partners, and who has been falling back into old habits after being abstinent for a while. If my friends watch porn 6 or 7 times (I know they do), they don’t start having ED. I do, because my brain has been affected by porn consumption. And now, like many others before me, I’m learning the hard way that I can’t watch porn, even just once in a while, without seeing my libido decrease until it becomes non-existent. But it’s also a blessing, because now I know for a fact that PIED is real.

    Just a few more other things. Alcohol, tobacco, food, sleep, exercise, cold showers… All those things (drinking less alcohol, stop smoking, eating healthy, sleeping well, doing exercise, etc.) won’t cure your ED. I’ve been a regular drinker for years (2-3 drinks everyday), and for a few months during my reboot I’ve stayed almost completely away from alcohol (2-3 drinks a month), then went back to regular drinking; I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes every day, and I successfully quit 11 months ago; I’ve had periods of shitty sleep followed by periods of great sleep, where I would go to bed at 9pm and get up at 5am without awaking at night; I’ve been exercising more than ever in my life in the last two years, and also had periods during which I would not exercise for a few weeks because I was sick or too busy with moving; etc. Well, none of these changes of habits had any noticeable impact on my libido. The one and only thing that has ever had any impact on it is abstinence (mostly from porn, but also from sex and masturbation). Don’t get me wrong, I still think you should do exercise and avoid smoking, and all that. I’m just warning you, do these things with reasonable expectations, just like any regular dude. Don’t think you’ll recover from PIED by doing those things. PIED is a brain issue: stay away from porn and you’ll gradually get better. Go back to porn and you’ll quickly go back to full-blown ED, that’s it. If you’re recovered, or on your way to being recovered, you’ll have a good erection in the bedroom even if you ate like shit and had a sleepless night the day before.


    HARD MODE

    The last point on my list. I’m still unsure about how crucial it is to go hard mode. Most likely it helps, and I’ve personally had improvements when I went hard mode for 100 days (started having wet dreams and morning wood then), but not as much as other guys report. Some say you won’t fully recover if you still have sex regularly, some say what matters the most is staying away from porn and that sex can’t hurt. I’m still unsure, like I said. Based on my experience, hard mode is great because you give a rest to your system and build a momentum, but to me it seemed like things went back to normal when I started having sex again, so I don’t know.

    What I can say, though, is that rewiring doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Maybe my brain is just stubborn, but I’ve been having sex on a regular basis for more than ten years, so I must be “wired” to real women. Despite that, I still have some ED, so I’m not sure rewiring is as important as others claim.

    ********************************

    That’s about it. I’m not trying to preach anything here, I’m just sharing my thoughts about rebooting and recovering from ED. I haven’t recovered fully from it, but I improved during a 19-month period then saw that progress going down the drain after relapsing 6-7 times to porn. To put numbers on this, it’s like I went from 30% functional to 60-70% then back to 30% again, and it showed me that nothing has more impact on my libido than porn – and time away from porn. If like me your reboot is taking more time than for other guys, well, don’t start thinking your problem is somewhere else. Stay away from porn, go hard mode if you can and if you think you need to do so, and don’t get sidetracked. Check your hormones, do a penile Doppler and see a physio for your pelvic floor to rule these causes out, if you have doubts; see a sex therapist or a psychologist if you think you could benefit from it; after all there are some guys that have venous leak, or low T, or performance anxiety. But if these tests don’t reveal anything wrong, porn is most likely what’s causing your ED, and that can be true even if you have been rebooting for a long time. If that’s so, be patient, and keep your eyes on the prize. Finally, trust yourself, and don’t blindly listen to other people’s advice, because sometimes – often – people don’t know what they are talking about, but they still talk. “A reboot is your laboratory. If your plan isn’t producing the results you want, adjust.”

    As a reminder, here’s one of the greatest success stories you’ll ever read, from Axiomatic, who needed almost 3 years to recover:
    https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/finally-over.24924/
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2022
    Reboot194500, Rael, Doper and 3 others like this.
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    This is a very good and honest post, Bilbo! I'm sure newcomers and also old-timers will find it helpful.
     
    Bilbo Swaggins likes this.
  3. Thanks Luke! I wish that by now I would have had happier things to share on the forum, but hey, that's life. Hopefully, one day it will be easier for guys to navigate through the mysteries of recovery.
     
  4. shattered

    shattered Member

    Were there any medications in your history that could have contributed to problems?
     
  5. That kind of thinking is exactly what I am talking about in my post. I don't want to be rude, but do you seriously think that I could have explored all these avenues but for some reason ignored the fact that some medication could cause ED? " Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I've been taking 150mg Zoloft for years, didn't occur to me that it could be the answer to all my problems." Come on. PIED is real, man, that's my point here. In 2017 Gary Wilson was already writing that it "can take months, or even a couple of years, for young men to experience the full benefits of giving up porn use [...]" (YBOP, p. 27).

    I'm sure you're just trying to help here, but as I tried to explain with this post, the idea that my problem was caused by something else "because my reboot was taking too much time" was extremely detrimental and made me go off track.

    I didn't want to talk about medication in my post, because it's a delicate question. Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD) can't be officially diagnosed medically, and there are so many medications out there that supposedly cause ED that it's beyond my knowledge to talk about that. But go on a PSSD forum, and you'll see that it's a different beast. There's much more despair on these forums than here... I never took Accutane or shit like that. Sleeping pills and benzos apparently can affect libido, and I've taken them sporadically for a couple of years (never touched them before being 26 or 27), but I've been 10 times more functional in bed during those years than ever before in my life, so I think these warnings should be taken with a pinch of salt. There are many things that pretendedly cause ED – lack of exercise, alcohol, stress, fatigue, sleeping pills, cocaine... If it was true, there wouldn't be many functional dicks out there. What we're talking about here is CHRONIC and SEVERE erectile dysfunction, and not many things can cause that, especially not in young men. Porn is one of them.
     
  6. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    "You distinguish psychogenic ED from organic ED pretty easily. With psychogenic ED a man doesn’t lose morning wood, while he can lose it with organic ED. That’s what urologists and sex therapists learn in school, and traditionally how they distinguish psychogenic ED from organic ED."

    I've thought for a long time that this is the smoking gun - the golden-ticket to proving that PIED is real. All it would take is a medical study that takes a bunch of people that believe they have PIED and have burned their brains with porn enough that nocturnal erections and morning wood have totally gone away. This would simply entail monitoring them with Nocturnal Penile Tumescense testing equipment for 6 months while they go hard mode and they regain their nocturnal erections. Hard to argue with that - a bunch of guys who have been tested and have no/weak nocturnal erections, and then they somehow regain them, and the only variable that could possibly explain it is they ceased porn use.

    I'd take part, and if they paid me enough then to really prove without doubt what was happening, I could reverse the nocturnal erections by furiously rage-jerking for hours daily to total weirdo porn, and lose the morning wood once more in record time. ...who am I kidding, history has shown I'd do such a thing for free. But this time it would garner me accolades and the love of the people, probably on par with the end of the first Star Wars movie.
     
    Pete McVries and Bilbo Swaggins like this.
  7. lol... Doper, you're such a joker...

     
  8. breath

    breath Active Member

    thanks for posting this... I'm 57, hoping to get better erections. My wife doesn't crave sex that often. I wish I could have it a lot - although my dreams exceed my ability to perform. I want to get cardio and T levels through exercise. I'd like to function well on a small dose of ED meds (generic). I also should use bit of oil which seems to help arousal (literally makes heat). I don't get strong morning wood unless there is tadalafil in my system (but I am 57) I'd really like to be hard w/o self stimulation prior to penetration though.. I've deleted my pornsite accounts.... that will be replaced but amorous wife hugging in the kitchen etc at random times thru the day. though obviously nothing like in the younger years I still feel the surge at those moments and its good fun for the relationship/connection ...
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2022
    Bilbo Swaggins likes this.
  9. Richard44

    Richard44 New Member



    Hey Bilbo, A little info before i start. I think its great you are back. Although at the time (1 year ago) i was only reading the forums (This and Reboot Nation). I always found your threads and replies containg truth and a wealth of info/knowledge. When i noticed you deleted your accounts and were gone I was a bit sad because, well look at the post above. Its pure gold/quality. Your way with words but more importantly your road and experiences are pure, pure gold for someone like me. I have a thread on this forum,( the same with more posts on reboot nation as i found this forum a bit dead).

    I was always watching porn but I did it heavily after I already had a GF and sexual experience. However it started to get worse and worse. I got huge DE (my tight circumsision does not make this easier) as the first sign. I was hard for i dont know how long and always had to finish myself by pulling out. The last 3 years though I got issues with EQ quality, with in the latter part of that time even issues getting it up. This costed me my partner whom i have been for 20 years. And yes Porn is the cause of it.

    I have to agree with you on the above points for me my libido also was completely shot but after being away from pron from 242 days and some other stuff I did I got some feeling back downstairs and also a bit feeling of horniness. (during those 242 days i got 3 WD).

    In the 37 days after those 242 days I did try masturbation agian without porn, lots of lube hardly any imagination (and if i did it was of my ex partner passed experiences we had) and this was doable. Did not get back in any mini flatlines feeling shit.

    However I am now scared as fuck to try go on a date for example or to meet someone new as i dont know how i will respond to that situation. I guess i just keep trucking. Porn for me is done at least. As of 12-07-2021 not seen any of it.

    I wish you the best and will follow you. If you have any tips or tricks for me please do let me know. I am currently figuring out if i should go to a urologist and try some ED medicine.

    Thank you sir.
     
    Bilbo Swaggins likes this.
  10. Hey Richard, thanks for the kind words, and congratulations on staying clean for so long. I will follow you too if you decide to post more often in your journal.

    It's understandable that you're scared about meeting new women, I'd feel the same in your situation. Since I have a girlfriend, sex isn't that stressful for me, but I know it would be if I was single and was going out on dates. Totally understandable. I don't know if you should go on ED meds or not, that's a personal decision; but if I was in your situation I would most definitely use them. Some people say that it can slow progress, for different reasons. It's like relying on a sleeping pill to go to bed: you use medication for something you should do naturally. But life is complex, it's not black or white, it's full of nuances and ambiguities. Many guys who have used ED pills during their reboot have fully recovered, here's a success story from @Pete McVries who talks about how he used ED pills at first and gradually got off them:

    https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...d-recovered-–-2-years-clean-pied-gone.118156/

    So you could try them, just to see what happens. But do it reasonably, take the right dose, don't rely on them all the time, have sex without them too, etc. For a first date with a new woman, in your situation it's a pretty good idea to have ED pills in your handbag in case you need them. Don't be scared about those pills, for most guys the side effects are minor (though pretty unpleasant), but nothing bad is going to happen to you. Most likely it will give you better erections, which will in turn give you more confidence, and that can only be beneficial to you. Anyway, think about it, there are many ways to do this, I'm sure you'll find your own way. I've written a lot of negative and dark stuff on this forum, but believe me, the new chapter you're about to start is one of the most exciting in this process. Maybe things won't work perfectly at first, but most likely they will kinda work, or work in an unpredictable manor. Bottom line, it will soon be time for you to back on the field and start playing again, and whatever happens next will be exciting and enlightening.

    You have many options, consider each of your options and explore. Try to not fall into inertia, and at the same time don't try 100 different options in one weak. Meet a girl, see how it goes, and if you go to bad with her, maybe you won't even need ED pills. If yes, well go see your urologist and have him give you a prescription. On your next
    date, have some ED pills ready in your hand bag, and try to take them when the timing is right. If they work well, then at least you that you can use them if you want, or you can have specific reasons why you don't want to use them. Bottom line, you try them or you don't try them, and it's up to you to give a direction to your reboot. You'll discover what works along the way. Keep it up, Richard, you're the man.

    . [​IMG]
     
  11. breath

    breath Active Member

    I hope I'm wrong but for many over 40, once ED meds are tried, a natural erection may seem weaker and one quickly gets accustomed to the super consistent hardness. If one has a lover who understands and is appreciative of the natural ebb and flo that would go with natural erecti0n s (especially after 40) then better to try staying off ED meds if possible, but if one has a busy life and a lover who isn't well versed in the slow and sensual ,ED meds are great for getting it happening successfully. My wife is more the latter and I really prefer and enjoy having the erectionon demand so to speak that come with pde-5's
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2022
  12. Richard44

    Richard44 New Member

    Hi Bilbo, thank you so much for yet agian a legendary response!

    I have made an appointment with my urologist next month to discuss this issue. I have been reading a bit about these meds and I think I prefer Cialis as you can "just" take that and it stays longer in your system. Because you never know if you end up having sex i mean. I think you use the blue one right. Did you try both?

    I have to agree I am a bit scared of using these meds what unpleasant side effects are we talking about (red face kind of thing?) I have to agree with you as long as it gives me better erections it should build confidence. I am still doubting to make an account to try online dating. Thank you for the encouring scenarios as to get back in the game and get back on the field. That made me smile :).

    I think i will try it fist with the pills just to be safe. Here in Amsterdam there is prostitution avialable (legal) but I am not sure if that is the way to go. Just to test how i respond to a real women agian after this time and after these issues.

    For now i first wait for the appointment with the urologist (4 weeks time :(

    Do you have any preference with respect to the pills as in brand?

    Thanks agian Bilbo!

    You rock sir!
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2022
  13. Hey Richard,

    Don't be afraid of the side effects, they're not so bad. I had some with Cialis, but they all went away after two weeks (digestive issues, red face, mild headache). With Viagra, it's mostly red face and headache, but these effects don't go away with time since you're not taking the drug daily. Try them, and see if they work well and if it's worth it, regarding to the side effects.

    Like you said, it's cool that Cialis allows you to be more spontaneous with sex, as you don't have to plan sex with it. But for many, including me, it's not as effective as Viagra... So it depends on the degree of your ED. If you just have mild ED, Cialis could do the trick for you. Again, you'll know when you try it. As for brands, I haven't noticed any difference. I've tried 2-3 brands for both drugs, and they all worked the same for me.

    Keep it up!
     
    Richard44 likes this.
  14. Richard44

    Richard44 New Member

    Hey Bilbo,

    Thanks for your reply. I will try them both I think. I was actually surprised that i received a letter form the hospital (urologist) and that they want me prior to the visit take a blood test. I have the request here and I see that they want to test PSA - SHBG - Testosterone - Free Testosterone. I can do that in roughly 3 weeks, a week later the visit to the urologist is planned. I will keep you updated :)

    In the meantime ofc i will not watch any porn but wont masturbate as well. It kinda works but I find it did not really kick started my libido - I read that after long abstince (in my case more then 8 months) i have masturbated 5 times in 6 weeks but no Libido awakenings unfortunately.
    EQ is decent with continuous stimulation. I also noticed that standing is more difficult than sitting down or lying down.

    Anyway lets take the hostpital/urologist route first.

    Have a very nice weekend mate!

    Richard
     
    Bilbo Swaggins likes this.
  15. Daniel25

    Daniel25 New Member

    please explain what it means to not sweat when rebooting? Ato I reboot for 6 months and without result, the erection is weak, my sweating is very very high!
     
  16. Daniel25

    Daniel25 New Member

    what prevents sweating? what information can you give on this occasion
     
  17. shattered

    shattered Member

    I really really appreciate you putting this well thought out post.
    Question: Suppose you do stay away from porn, but continue to masturbate regularly with fantasy, what is the impact?

    I say this because I'm old enough that I experienced ED before porn was every in my life. I had a daily MO habit with a lot of fantasy, and still do.
     
  18. Daniel25

    Daniel25 New Member

    have you heard about the pelvic floor problem? how can you solve this problem? does anyone here practice kegel exercises?
     

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