Enough is enough

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by bosseau, Mar 20, 2012.

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  1. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

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  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the forum bosseau!

    Quitting this addiction requires that you also quit taking small peeks at photos. Stay away completely from images or videos of women, no matter how softcore they are.

    I know this is already part of your plan but I wanted to make emphasis on it.
     
  3. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Thanks - good point, hadn't considered softcore images, but the only pics of girls I will see online are on Facebook or via articles.

    Today is my second full day of no PMO and I feel fine although obviously appreciate that it my health won't feel better for a few weeks. That said, I've not been well this week so my libido could be down for that reason and I have bigger challenges to come. I had a dream that I was getting a blowjob last night - but think this might have been due to reading about Tulisa's bj video that has been leaked rather than any desires!

    For me, my biggest challenge will be avoiding the flashbacks and mainly avoiding fantasising about two exs. As long as I can keep PMO free for two weeks then I'm sure this will begin to stop afterwards. Also I know I'm more susceptible in the mornings, so will shower as soon as I wake up rather than lay in bed for longer.
     
  4. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Almost the end of day 4 without PMO. I have been quite busy today and yesterday and therefore thought very little about my addiction and have had no temptation. I have had a virus for the past week which I am almost certain is keeping my libido in check but think that this could also be slowing my recovery.

    Next week will be a big test - home all week with not much to do. But getting through today was a big win as Saturday mornings were my usual time for PMO and normally twice in the day...
     
  5. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    It has now been over a week since I viewed 'the site', which is a landmark victory as such. I feel I am getting over the habit now so that is good news.

    However, yesterday I found myself caught up in flashbacks and fantasising about two exs. This brought on headaches and feelings of anxiety. Not sure if this is related to my addiction or an underlying issue.

    Tomorrow I will pass two more minor landmarks. I have no doubt that I wil get there as I want to recover more than anything else
     
  6. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    It is now over a week since I viewed porn and over two weeks since I masturbated. Small victories compared to others, but as they would say in cricket, I've got myself a start - just need to build on it, make sure I don't get myself out and go and make a big hundred.
     
  7. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Today is not going well at all. I've been craving MO since I woke up and it's getting worse. Have had mega headaches thinking about a particular set of photos of a model that I bought. I'm guessing the headache isn't a good sign either.
     
  8. Joss is Boss

    Joss is Boss New Member

    Bosseau - keep with it, you're doing great!

    Internet on the phone was a killer for me, really ramped up already frequent usage. I found the keys to be not looking at the phone in bed (not having it right on my bedside table), and not taking it into the bathroom with me to shower (!), and taking all the social media/facebook stuff off it so I had less and less reason to keep checking it.

    These struggles are a good sign, it shows you're getting further through it, so stick with it and overcome!
     
  9. Paulier

    Paulier New Member

    Yeah - don't give in! Remember you're giving up slavery to a mental poison that has taken away your vitality and ability to enjoy life. PMO will only lead to despair, whereas stopping will only make you feel better. Your addiction is lying to you when it tries to convince you to have 'just the one'. You've done really well so far. All you've got to do is ride out some uncomfortable feelings. What would you do if you were hospitalised with two broken arms in plaster and no chance of this so-called 'relief'? You'd just feel the feelings and eventually they'd go away. You can do this!!
     
  10. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Cheers guys. The support is much appreciated.

    I'm feeling quite hungover today so am wondering if the alcohol effect brought this on.

    My big problem is fantasising and remembering images/videos. I dont seem able to supress these but am happy as long as I am not actually viewing porn or masturbating.
     
  11. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Now free from PMO for 10 days and no signs of yesterday's demons.

    I'm liking the cricket analogy more and more. I am 10 not out. I need to keep accumulating runs (i.e. Each day PMO free). In the meantime I need to avoid getting out to the fast bowlers (porn), spinners (masturbation) and orgasm (dancing down the track, missing and being stumped. PMO combined means I have run myself out.

    The mentality I need is the same as a batsman. I would love to score a century but must not be distracted by this and build my score patiently in case I lose concentration. I can' think about getting to 50 without getting to 20, 30 and 40 first. Sometimes I will be tempted to give my wicket away by the urges I will feel on some days. Just weather the storm and build the score.
     
  12. Psychosis

    Psychosis Guest

    Hey dude, congrats on 10 days, which is exactly where I am as well. Could you, perhaps, translate your cricket analogy into baseball terms? Just kidding. But, seriously, I think quite a few of us here have absolutely no idea what that last post was about. :)
     
  13. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Will post a link next time I am on my PC. I dont know much about baseball but the scoring system is very different :)
     
  14. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Today is day 1 without porn.

    I wont make excuses. Saturday was a bad day. I had urges and flashbacks of my exes all day. I had an afternoon nap and woke up with even greater urges and spent an hour browsing 'the site'. I then spent 2 hours in the evening browsing. I got big headaches on both occasions which I assume is a sign of the addiction. The images were of topless girls.

    I did this because it was the only thing to stop me from MO-ing to the flashbacks. I didnt particularly enjoy it and it has made me feel stronger because I have seen that it wasnt that much fun any longer. So I move on determined to go the distance. Yesterday I discovered images I had saved on my phone so I deleted them and reset the clock to day 0. I have not looked at anything on my PC .

    On the plus side, today is 3 weeks without MO :)
     
  15. Joss is Boss

    Joss is Boss New Member

    Hey Bosseau,

    Good to have another Brit on here - not a cricket fan, but the analogy was clear to me! :) I'm south coast, another beautiful sunny day here.

    Good that you realise the porn isn't actually enjoyable - that will definitely help. Great work on resisting the MO despite the lapse of looking through 'the site', and for getting straight back on the horse more determined than ever. Keep going!
     
  16. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Not so sunny in the home counties today but at least it's a 4 day weekend.

    No bad thoughts here now. Day 3 of no PMO and day 23 of no OM.

    I can't stop the flashbacks no matter how hard I try. They always happen when I am in bed and can think about these things. No other problems though - only time will heal. The thing that worries me is that I never think of my partner (who I live with) but mainly the same two girls and other past sexual experiences.
     
  17. Joss is Boss

    Joss is Boss New Member

    Don't worry too much about the flashbacks. They will lessen over time. Try to just recognise them for what they are and let them go. The maint hing is not to let them have the effect on you where you 'have' to go an PMO - stay in control by just letting them pass (this is what I've found helps anyway).

    I'm the same with my girlfriend, but I'm finding her much sexier again, and I'm more present/actually there, not distracted or fantasising, when I'm around her. I'm hoping that continues to improve - have faith!
     
  18. bosseau

    bosseau Guest

    Sadly it is now day 0 for both PMO and MO.

    Had a really bad relapse today. For the past few days I've been viewing 'the site' and this morning everything got too much. I had the usual thoughts but then discovered I could plug a USB stick into my 38" TV and view stuff. I worked out how to install an old hard drive, found all the stuff I had deleted a few weeks ago and then copied it to a memory stick to view on my 38" TV.

    What bothers me is that I didn't get hard and it was over within about 30 seconds - doesn't seem like much progress to me even though it is the first lot of PMO for 27 days.

    I'm currently shredding the old hard drive and jumping back on, albeit feeling a little down but I'm sure that will subside.
     
  19. wayne_992

    wayne_992 New Member

    Yeah, dont beat your self up to much, just hop rite back on the train and start over, the longer you wait to start the harder it becomes. START NOW.
     
  20. darkknight3313

    darkknight3313 New Member

    Train the mind to think long term. One consequence of today's society and the Internet is everyone loses sight of the long term, big picture. 30 seconds of pleasure at your fingertips and a lifetime of frustration, or 30 years of pleasure witha hard work and a lifetime of happiness.

    Nothing is easy but do your best to keep the bigger picture in focus. You'll get through it.
     
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