End Game

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by TrueDat, Nov 23, 2014.

  1. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Ok cool Arrow! :)

    I have had sex almost every day this week. Feels alright. Although after O'ing once everyday for 4 days I felt completely tired so we had one day off. Erection quality is ususally 70-80%, sometimes 60% and sometimes 80%.

    Having some troúble staying hard from time to time so that is my biggest problem. But for now I am so relieved that I actually can have sex often. Will try to do some reverse kegels again. Have taken cold showers for over a week. :)
     
  2. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    Nice bro.

    I think the errection quality will stabilize and get back to 100% after some time, but it's way better than abstaining for eternitys with no libido at all. I also have some days were I am a bit exhausted or I am just at 60% but I think this is totally normal.
     
  3. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    I have not been able to have sex the past two nights. It's like it is impossible to get a good enough erection. Nothing really turns me on. I have O'ed almost everyday for over a week but now I can not get aroused. Maybe I need a break again. I will continue trying to have sex but now I really don't know the reason why my dick has decided to stop working.

    My progress the past month has not been significant, I am still at the point where my erection is weak and it dies in literally 2 seconds without stimulation. I can not M as well, can't get it up from that. I am starting to wonder why it is taking so goddamn long time for me.
     
  4. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    This morning I could have sex...barely. I had to jerk of really quick in order to get hard enough to for piv. It took three tries and when I entered I O'ed in like a minute. Hmm. Maybe I should not have tried to force it. I am just tired of being so asexual atm.

    Have started with reverse kegels every second day, maybe its a pelvic floor imbalance thing for me as well. Cold showers over 2 weeks now. I am aiming for 6 days work out per week right now too.

    I will have to try harder to get a job this summer, my gf has one with good salary. I feel that I need to step up my game here.

    EDIT: I MO'ed at home now. unneccessary, had to struggle to achieve an erection as usual. Managed 49 days no M. Well M is not the problem, the problem is porn so I am fine on that point. Still, I was superstressed about jobs and school so I had this urge to escape reality for a moment. Not worth it. Feel a bit worse after, like I have no energy.
     
  5. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Feel bad again. I love my GF but still I can't see myself only experienced 4 girls in total (successful sex) the rest of my life. I am turning 25 this year. Jesus, I really need to get well soon and have libido.

    I know for a fact that she has been with 20 guys and she is 21 years old. I know that it's not a competition but I still feel bad over my lost experiences. I have had 10+ other girls in bed and couldn't perform. This is something that nags me still. I am jealous of all people who can perform sexually whenever they want. If I could do that, hell I would bang as many girls as I possibly could. I am a weak person sometimes because of this. I checked her Facebook messages once (shouldn't have done that) and could read that she has been kinda slutty. Public sex abroad and shit. She has been sending nude pics to a lot of dudes and stuff. I have known this for about a month now but I still get pictures of her being banged by some dude against a wall when people walk by (I read that from her Facebook messages).

    If I had been able to have sex whenever I wanted, then I would be fine with this. But my situation is so fucked up so it has messed with my self-esteem. Right now I am often grossed out by the thought of sex (on days when I feel asexual) and I have trouble sustaining my feelings for my girl when I know how sexually active she has been and especially the way she has flirted with a lot of guys...
     
  6. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    First Congratulations on 600 days Pornfree that is really a great accomplishment, because the most guys can't even reach that. ;)

    Second maybe you shouldn't have read those Facebook messages of her. I don't want to judge you, because everybody has a different moralic standpoint. But now you have read those messages and you started to worry even more. Getting images of other guys banging your girl isn't good either. Not sure what advice I could give you, because your relationship with your gf sounds really complicated. On the other hand I am not sure if you would feel better if you break up with her.

    What I can relate to is your feelings of regret and missed opportunities. I know that really well and I will fuck as many chicks as I can, as soon as I get the opportunity, because I think that is the only way for me to get rid of this feeling of missing out and giving my self-esteem a huge boost. But I have to say I am in a different situation than you, so what works me for me doesn't have to work for you.

    Edit: One more thing I want to say is when you don't feel like having sex, you shouldn't do it. But when you are horny, I still think you should try to O, because I don't think that abstinence from O will cure you, but that's just my two cents. ;)
     
  7. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Thank you! :) Yes, 600 days pornfree is something I could not have imagined when I was addicted to it a few years back.

    Yes, I should not have read her Facebook. I mean it's her private space. But I have been cheated on by another girl before so I was worried. I won't do it again, that's for sure, the feeling afterwards was not worth it.
    Yea the worst thing is that I know all these details of her now, that she has been kinda slutty. I did not like the way she texted with the guys, there were a lot of guys, apparently I have already met one of her previous fuckbuddies, and I thought they were only friends...

    It is true that the relationship is very complicated. I would say that 80% of the problems originates from my depressive state I am in often. I feel bad about PIED and have done so for many years. The knowledge of her past does not help me either. It was stupid to check her Facebook and I can not get rid of the disturbing feeling I have because of her previous guys and her experiences... Some days I can be in a very good mood and everything works just fine, but then, in the midst of kissing my girl I get these flashbacks of her being fucked by another dude against a wall in public...

    Yes I feel the same way as you do. I will have to fuck a lot of girls when I am ready to do so, because I also believe that is the only way to get rid of the uneasy feeling I have because of past failures and give my self-esteem a boost. Thing is, I want to experience more girls sexually. Truth be told, there is no way that I can live with my gf forever, even if she often mentions that we will grow old together etc. Not knowing that she has been with 5 times more partners than I have. My time will have to come soon!

    There is one catch however, I am still not ready sexwise, I fail every second time. There is no point for me to break up with my girl and chase other girls. I would not be able to perform anyway! Can't even put on a condom before the erection is gone. I need to rewire more. Yea, I haven't felt libido for a week and that's why my erection is pretty much non-existent right now. No point in going for sex tonight as I don't really feel like it.

    I like my life, it is good in many ways. I have a loving family, great friends, stellar education and a beautiful girlfriend. But before I can perform sexually I will not be able to be truly happy I think.
     
  8. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    I think we have a very similar view on this thing which is great, because some people would say it's bad to use her for rewiring if you don't see a future with her or some other bullshit. While I think it's ok to be a bit opportunistic and use this situation to your advantage as long as you can. Because if you are not ready to perform when the time comes, it will be harder to get and keep new girls. So take your time until you're ready and you will get better this year. ;)
     
  9. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Yea I mean, I like her and we will have our time together so I don't see a problem :) Haha maybe I am becoming cynical, but I also think it's alright for me to rewire as much as possible with her, although I am quite certain that we don't have a future together in the long run. Yea I have to get better to my full potential some time this year. If I don't then there is something else wrong with me, despite the fact that everything is fine with me according to my doctor.
     
  10. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    New strategy again.
    I O'ed a lot two weeks ago and last week I was not able to perform, no lust for sex and nothing worked. There might be a good limit to O twice a week but I think that I overdid this before when I O'ed almost every day.
    Now I will try to go no O for some time again and see if I can sustain an erection better. I have been feeling a bit horny the past two days and I will evaluate if this small amount of libido will be sustained if I abstain for O for a while. Fact is, I had a decent erection this morning (90 %), better than before. Maybe it is a result of my peaked testo-levels (7 days no O now) or maybe a result of my reverse kegels. It could also be a coincidence ofc, but the erection felt better than I am used to. I have had morning wood the past days too, which I didn't have a week ago.

    I will continue with reverse kegels (week 2 now) and cold showers (over 3 weeks now). I have been working out at the gym 6 days a week now for a couple of weeks and will try to keep this going. It is giving me good results atm.
     
  11. bikeguy

    bikeguy Member

    It could be that your erections have a lot to do with mood as well. If you feel joyful and relaxed you get them more often. Being stressed and worried would lead you to not have them. Do you think your problems with your gf stem from not being comfortable enough around her (performance anxiety)? How long have you guys been dating?
     
  12. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Yea I think you're right. My erection problems are always extreme when I feel stressed out etc. I have been dating my girl for soon a year now so it has nothing to do with performance anxiety, she knows about my PIED and everything so I feel very comfortable and relaxed around her.

    Last night I was able to have good sex, my erection felt pretty strong. This morning I first had some problems (pretty tired). We tried again after some time and it worked out fine, but I accidently O'ed. It's pretty difficult not to O when she reaches climax at the same time, I mean I don't want to stop her then haha. So my strategy for going no O lasted for 8 days.

    Will try not to O too often again and evaluate the result. I think that I see some light at the end of the tunnel right now, I only hope that if I keep this strategy and my chin up, then I won't have to deal with these "flatline-weeks" no more. They are really frustrating.
     
  13. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    It has been a fun weekend. Two old friends of mine joined me and we went partying together with some people from my class. It was really fun. I acted wingman in the club to my friend and he was doing pretty good. The girl I was dancing with was really grinding her ass against my crotch although didn't get a boner or something. I usually don't get horny after 5 beer or more, I just get pretty tired. My girlfriend was at home sick but the evening was very nice anyway.

    Had not seen my gf for two days but went over there yesterday. We spent the day in bed. I was hungover and she was a bit tired. Still we had kinky sex three times yesterday. I O'ed twice and she was really pleased haha. The last time I was not horny so I lost the erection after she climaxed.

    This morning I had decent morning wood. Had some karezza this morning. She complemented me and said "when we have sex it is always very good". But I am feeling exhausted today.

    Went to the gym 5 times the past week, did not muster the energy to go there when I was hungover. Reverse kegels week 3. Cold showers week 4. :)
     
  14. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    Seems like you are doing good. ;)

    Have you tried l-arginine? I read in some posts on the forum that it can help with ED.

    Would you say that the reverse kegels and the cold showers are working, or does one work better than the other?
     
  15. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Yea I am getting better :) I have tried l-arginine. Remember that it didn't make any difference for me, I ate it a year ago when I was flatlining hard. Maybe the effects of it would be visible for me today, I don't know. It's pretty expensive though.

    I think that the cold showers are working out fine. They say that they help with D2-receptors so I think that it will help stabilize my brains responsiveness to dopamine. I have been feeling a bit happier and have had some libido from time to time the past weeks so I will continue with cold showers.
    When it comes to reverse kegels I am not sure if it works but will continue with them anyway because I have felt a slight stronger erection the past weeks so it might be because of kegels. I hope so. I am not sure which works best for me when it comes to cold showers and reverse kegels, however, it's not a bad mix!

    Last night I still felt exhausted and didn't feel horny. We tried sex (shouldn't have, I did not feel it) and it was really difficult to get an erection, she had to work for it. O'ed once and did not feel very good after, experienced "hangover and flatline-effects" like lost sensitivity in the penis and it felt numb and shrunken.

    This morning I had no morning wood and felt very tired. I even slept until 11 am. It's like my refractory period is getting longer if I O too often. I guess my refractory period is around 2 or 3 days atm. I'm gonna just go for sex when I feel it from now on, won't do it even if gf is horny, it doesn't help me.
     
  16. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    Maybe I should try the cold showers, too. When it gets warmer outside I will definitely do them for a test run.

    I started today with the l-arginine and will see how it works. Maybe it was too early for you when you took it, I am not sure myself if it works that well but I want to give it a try, because of the many positive reviews. If it gives me some good results I will tell you for sure. ;)

    And don't O or try to have sex when you don't feel like it, I also have some days where I am not horny and if I try to force an O it just feels bad.
     
  17. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Yea sure, I think cold showers are definitely worth trying out!

    Have been spending a lot of time with my gf as usual the past days. I sleep over at her place around 6 days a week now and have done so for some time. I have realized that I would have a lot of freetime and boring periods without her.

    I am still searching for jobs, the only offer I got had shit salary so didn't even consider that one.
    This morning I woke up with a headache and a sore throat so I hope I don't get sick, don't have time with that. The day was good, I made breakfast in bed to my girl and we had a busy day in bed :D The weather was nice so we went for a stroll which was really uplifting and my headache disappeared. Her sister and mom are in town so they will stay at her place for two nights so I will sleep at home for a couple of days, we will however meet up for dinner and bowling tomorrow night.

    I think I soon can write a success story, the only thing I am waiting for is that I want my erections to improve more and that I can sustain them for longer periods. I also want my refractory period to shorten. It might take some time but I think that I will be completely cured this year.
     
  18. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Woke up feeling sick today, blocked nose and sore throat.. :-\ Maybe will skip gym today again so I have plenty of time over for relaxing.

    I am not in the best mood right now. Came to think about one thing again. My gf expressed concern a few days ago that she was worried that I would want to "live life" and have sex with other girls when I am cured from PIED,. I assured her that I only want to be with her and no one else. She doesn't know that I have been with only a few girls, she only knows that I have failed sexually with over 10 girls. I have already come to the conclusion that I will have to try other girls again in order to "forgive myself for past mistakes" and be happy with my life when I look back on my experiences as an older man. I guess it's also a psychological phenomenon (like CBT) where I want to face all my "fears/mistakes" and make them right so I can feel whole again.

    So I know for a fact that I want to experience other girls, I mean I have been with 4 girls "successfully" which I feel is too little for me the rest of my life. On the other hand, she has been with 20 guys and has already "lived life" so she wants to settle down and have a steady partner the rest of her life, at least, that's her plan. One can say that we are on different levels.

    It is a tough situation. Some time ahead I might break this girls heart... :'( I fully enjoy her company and she is a wonderful person, someone who is girlfriend material for sure. The past weeks has been better than ever with her. I still need to rewire more so I will stay with her and I like her very much. However, the thing that bugs me is that while I am doing this, I am getting more and more involved in her family, which I love, they are all great people. She loves my family too, she is very liked by everyone. We have even planned a trip abroad with her family next year, GOD why, I can be so stupid sometimes.

    When I screw this up (cheats on her or breaks up) I will be hated by everyone... but I am only following my own goals in life. The ultimate thing would be if I could catch up and experience other girls so I feel pleased with that. Like we would have a break in the relationship, but I also know that this would not be an option for her and me. I couldn't love her if she had been with others during our relationship and she feels the same, I know that since she said that she would "kill me" if I cheated on her.

    EDIT: After reading this again I realized that I am bitching about small problems. I mean, I can have sex now from time to time. I can't predict what the future will be like and how my relationship will be. I am aware that my journal is switching focus to my relationship more and more, less about ED-problems.
     
  19. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    This summer I hope that I can pick up other girls.

    I was doing the math. She has been sexually active for 4 years and has had sex with 20 people. I have been "sexually active" for 7 years (I'm 3 years older) and have had successful sex with 4 people (3 the past year).

    Her average is 20 ppl/4 years= 5 people/year. If I would have the same average (5 people per year) I would have had sex with 7 years * 5 people = 35 people by now (I'm 24). So I have 31 people left if I would be on the same level.

    Just trying to put things in perspective here. Haha I really sound fucking childish here but I just want to fuck other women riiiiiight now. Life is not fair.
     
  20. Dicer

    Dicer Member

    You shouldn't compare your amount of sexpartners with hers, cause she is a girl and has it a lot easier to get laid than you.

    I totally understand your situation but you should try to calm down. Try to see it like this, you are just 24 and men are like wine. They get better with age (as long as you work on yourself). So you can still have your prime time till 30 or 35. Women on the other hand have their prime till 25 then they are fucked. ;D The older they get the more difficult it becomes to get a good guy.

    So don't stress out take your time and think about how you can get out of that family trip next year. ^^
     

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