What`s the problem with gym? I see you made progres with your alcohol consumption last week and that is great but seems like you cannot keep up with gym routine. Have you ever tried bodyweight training?
I have had an injury and it's been tough to motivate myself to come back to the gym. I have been working evenings as well. Aiming for 5 days workout this week though and hoping I can reach that for the first time in three months.
Good luck and don`t forget about warm-up, there is nothing glamorous with trauma that repeats. Aiming for 5 days workout every week is legit goal, I can not maintain it longer than 2 weeks in a row with my bodyweight training. As I can see, your work schedule is pretty busy and getting into gym is already a win. Don`t lose your will and motivation to training. You definitely familiar with positive feedback from it. Just think about it and don`t rush towards next injury.
*No more than 4 beer per party. -FAIL. (drank around 6 beer yesterday, not too bad though). *No PMO and no mindless browsing for instagram models. -FAIL (PMO'd all day). *Gym 5 days (most importantly is getting there, that is a win in itself, no bigger expectations right now) -FAIL (only 2 days in the gym) *Don't work more than maximum 1 hour overtime per day -FAIL (worked Friday evening as well) *Eat more homecooked food, I have wasted so much money on restaurants everyday -PASS In a bad mood, still frustrated over my irritated lips-problem and spent so much money on dental cleanings the past month so my teeth are very clean but the problem is still there. Lowering my goals for next week: 1. No PMO 2. Workout 4 days
Hey! I am ok, have been PM free for over 2 months now. Some days I am more optimistic but for the most part I am in this flatline state where I have no libido and a bit depressed. I am probably taking a longer break from the forum again, my energy has been too low to check the forum. I used to read here all the time before and I just need to focus on other things at the moment. Just replied so you know I am trucking on, hope you are doing well!
Today would have marked 100 days no P. But I glimpsed on P a few days ago as well as MO'd for the first time in over three months and now I had a full PMO relapse x 2. It has been quite easy to abstain but ever since a week ago when I first MO'd I have had trouble staying away from instagram models and also searching for some semi-edgy stuff from time to time. During these 90+ days of no P I have not seen much improvement. What I can say is that my emotions grew stronger, I could laugh wholeheartedly to a funny joke and also cried a few times while watching a sad movie or considering my troubles in life. Another good thing is that it was easier to get back to the gym since nofap provides more energy. I never had morning wood but could feel an urge after about 3 to 4 weeks of no O, so I have occasionally during this time met up with two girls I have met with before (using Kamagra to work). I am not very attracted to either of them but I guess we could provide each other value in just having fun for a night and also having sex is more fun than having wet dreams. I have not been on any dates and my self confidence is quite low, there has definitely been a flatline period during these months. The past two weekends I have isolated myself from friends and also worked the entire weekend. Work is still stressful and taxing and truth be told, that feeling is not that fun. I have also lost all hope for my irritated lips/oral problems so I am not very keen on socialising either. I will get back on track now, not beat myself up too much since that would only make my situation worse. One day at a time. Hopefully gym will bring some energy back.
I had 7 days no relapse but this morning I struggled to get out of bed and saw a trigger and then I glimpsed on P for 5 min and PMO'd once. Very important that I just keep on going and not letting this turning into a really bad binge. EDIT: I PMO'd once more and MO'd thrice. I just can't seem to focus on work today and the brain fog is back with a vengeance now. I will take a break and go to the gym to clear my head.
Don`t let yourself to relapse and give up. It is not about ideal streak, it`s about overcoming the years-long addiction.
Thanks for the encouragement Krebs! I PMO'd thrice now, I could not sleep at all and I have an early morning. I don't know whether my insomnia was due to stress or withdrawal. I had four days free of PMO, aiming for a better streak now. The past month I have also played a lot of videogames, something I have not done in many years. I think it has been a way of escaping reality but have also been pretty fun. My new goal is to not play videogames since I feel that it is a timewaster, I have played nearly 100 hours the past month and not met up with friends over weekends due to no energy etc.
Low energy today. PMO'd twice. I have trouble focusing on work, I feel like I need a vacation and the year has just begun. Goal for the day is to go to the gym later.
Friday, have caught a cold but have an important meeting that can't be cancelled. PMO'd once after waking up.
I am recovering from my cold and it was a very mild one, only three days. It has been a tough week but I made it through. I have very low energy, work is too taxing. I have decided not too work overtime in evenings and weekends because I don't get paid for it, I will do as much work as my colleagues do (they work probably one hour more than the agreed time in the contract and no more). Moreover, another colleague is quitting the team and I will not take on more work with like I did last time, I will do my work hours and prioritize what's important and leave the rest and inform my manager about this. If I am ordered to work overtime I will do that but then I will of course have to be paid as well. My realization is that it is not worth my sanity to get a bad conscience over tasks I don't have the time to complete during normal work hours. So that's that. I hope I can get back to the gym again now when my energy levels are coming back. Will also try not to search for instagram models when I am bored since that is the gateway to more triggering content. My life is really shitty at the moment and I feel frustrated with many things. Hoping to get back on track soon.
MO'd five times today, also peeked at some instagram models. Won't count it as a relapse but I have to stop that. I have now uninstalled Steam, played a lot of video games lately, nearly 3 hours per day in average the past three months. It is just a way of distancing myself from reality. Some friends met up for beer last night but I just was so tired so I stayed at home. My goal for the day is to go to the gym and buy some groceries.
Letting go of video games has been a good choice. I have more energy and motivation to meet up with friends. Last weekend I was out with friends both days of the weekend and this Friday I was also drinking some beer with them. I hooked up with a girl in the same social circle, it had happened a year ago as well so we are not strangers. I don't know why I took her home but it was fun flirting at the club. When at home it was not pleasurable, I felt disconnected and used 50 mg Kamagra and only had a semi. Would have never have worked with a condom, it was plain bad. A reminder that my excessive M has drained my libido. It was still okey to chat a bit but I actually regret taking her home. I am doing okey again in the gym and getting stronger week by week so that is fun. I am still out of shape for being me but if I work out 5 days per week I will get there soon. EDIT. I MO'd twice and then later PMO'd twice. Had a streak of 22 days no PMO. It is the hangover that often leads to relapses for me. Implementing max 4 beer per party again.. It also ruined my plans to go to the gym today. PMO'd thrice on Sunday.
MO'd once on Monday morning. I have to get out of bed when waking up and not scrolling the web or Instagram.
PMO'd twice. Did okey for a couple of days but I am struggling to get going again. Gym is going pretty well though so that is nice.
